I'm okay. I just discovered that I have anxiety, the social kind. I'm a highly social person and thrive around people, but this anxiety makes it so that any time I make a little mistake in a relationship or in my work I feel like everyone hates me, that I'm surely going to be fired, etc. Same if my old friends don't reply to my messages, which happens often because I live thousands of miles away from any irl friends. I go into a tailspin of self-loathing and doubt and I've lost the ability to know what's normal or what's worth worrying about. I almost destroyed my oldest friendship two days ago because of it, and for other reasons that are too complicated to explain here.
I've had it for years but didn't think of it as anxiety, even though it's been getting worse and worse. It was said oldest friend who pointed it out, actually. So I don't know where to begin there. Not like I can afford to talk to someone. Add to that ADHD and highs and lows, and life's been a bit interesting. Or should I say shitty.