Create Your Own Laws

Everyone must provide me with whatever I want, whenever I want it. Dogs. Women. Drugs. Men. Horses. Booze. They must give me what I want, as soon as I want it, and otherwise leave me alone. They must bring me a diet coke whenever I push my button.
 
All who needlessly harm other living beings shall be needlessly harmed in equal measure, no exceptions.
 
Those in charge of traffic lights that needlessly stop or delay drivers shall face civil fines commensurate with the level of delay experienced. If humanity can put a man on the moon surely we can manage traffic flow so that it doesn't take me A FRICKIN' ETERNITY SIMPLY TO GET ACROSS TOWN ON A SUNDAY MORNING.

Ahem. Okay, rant over.
 
Capital punishment (no appeals) for anyone assaulting someone with a gun.

Zoophilia legal and protected as a form of sexual orientation

Death lasers for personal use

Speed limit signs that randomly change value

Let Texas become its own country
 
Drivers of electric cars shall walk in front of them with a sign to alert people that they are nothing more than a fossil fuel burning hoax. Penalty:- Must to buy a replacement RAM pick-up or a GMH Hybrid as the lessor of other similar evils!
 
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Pogo stick traffic lanes Mandatory for those who chose to pogo naked, but only if naked. Use of the pogo naked traffic lanes while clothed or for any other reason SHALL pogo naked 12 hours a day the rest of their lives.

back to sleep now 😳
 
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