Smokin5150
Tourist
There seems to be a consistent thread about confessing "zoo" desires, experiences, and fantasies to friends, family and significant others. I am curious as to the underlying urge that people have to bare their souls.
Maybe it is because I have been married for 25 years, but there seems to be little upside to confession. I understand that some people confess from guilt and others feel they should share everything with their partners. I disagree with both. Confessing out of guilt is often (not always) a cop out -- transferring the confusion to the other person and leaving them to deal with it. The confessor gets the freedom and leaves the confessee with the mess of accepting it or leaving. On the the other hand, the need to share everything is a myth. Even in the best of marriages, we are still different people. Lives blend but, as someone who has had his fair share of indiscretions, having a few secrets for the sake of marital harmony is not a bad thing.
I am starting to think that I am the one with issues because I have no desire to confess or share my zoo interests or others. Do others feel as I do?
Maybe it is because I have been married for 25 years, but there seems to be little upside to confession. I understand that some people confess from guilt and others feel they should share everything with their partners. I disagree with both. Confessing out of guilt is often (not always) a cop out -- transferring the confusion to the other person and leaving them to deal with it. The confessor gets the freedom and leaves the confessee with the mess of accepting it or leaving. On the the other hand, the need to share everything is a myth. Even in the best of marriages, we are still different people. Lives blend but, as someone who has had his fair share of indiscretions, having a few secrets for the sake of marital harmony is not a bad thing.
I am starting to think that I am the one with issues because I have no desire to confess or share my zoo interests or others. Do others feel as I do?