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Anyone relate to being an ugly kid?

puppycr34m

puppycr34m

Tourist
Anyone here just really ugly as a kid? Like no one wanted to touch you or have anything to do with you? Animals being the only honest love and connection you had? They never judged you for your looks they just loved you. Their feelings so honest and pure and no ulterior motives. Any of you had a glow up? You ever realize how different people treat you? How you're somehow more valuable and your feelings matter all of a sudden when people want to fuck you. I'm starting to hate humans. Like a deep seeded hate that makes me want to destroy their confidence. Make them feel disgusting and rejected when they try to get with me. Its fucking laughable how many people say they want to be with you when youre attractive. Your partner telling you its your personality they love when really, you know if you looked like your old self they wouldn't of given you the time of day. This isn't a brag. I'm starting to realize how bitter and angry this has made me and I wanted to vent. Any love from humans feels like a lie. Partners that say they want you for you are bullshitting. Now i know the only real value people see in you is looks or use. Got neither of those things, and you become practically invisible. Starting to realize humans are shit partners who'll gaslight you and waste your time. I'm sure a lot of you have similar opinions, i apologize for the little crashout but please feel free to share you opinions and feelings.
 
I understand you entirely, never thought about the ugly part tho. I came up with this: Tell me that your not just another animal that thinks that it's not, just another animal that thinks that it's hot.
 
Haha, that's pretty relatable for me, I was definitely an ugly kid and was reminded of the fact a lot growing up, now I'm in my late 30s I am ripped from working hard my whole life and have grown into my looks it seems, suddenly beautiful woman are interested in me but to be honest looks don't mean much to me, my personality was shaped by adversarie and rejection so I prefer the company of people who have real character and soul, try not to let it make you bitter, just learn to enjoy the glow up and let your negative experiences inform your compassion, please don't become another mean in spirit, pretty in the face prick and pass on the pain
 
no , but somehow noone loved me , and still , had chance rn someone was , but its too long I not felt that , so now felt that not exist
 
Honestly, I've always been really self conscious how I looked until recently (within the last couple years), but I don't think I would have been considered ugly, I just obsessed over any minute imperfection that I could find in the mirror because believe me, I was looking for anything to call a blemish. But oddly enough, my pet snake really helped me get through it—of course it wasn't entirely her, I also did a lot of self searching and did things to slowly build my self confidence—she was first of all a friend to take care of, which gave me things to take my mind off myself, but also she was completely oblivious and unaware of what I looked like or anything else. To her, I was just a very warm tree that moved and provided food. And as the very melodramatic teenager I was, it helped me come to the conclusion that my physical appearance doesn't mean anything, it's my actions that people actually care about.

This just turned into me ranting, sorry about that, but ultimately, kinda, I considered myself very ugly, but I was fairly average, aside from my hair at least. Also, my snake didn't awaken my zoo feelings, I already was at the time, she's just a very good friend to me
 
I'm a conventionally attractive person but I'm quite socially inept. In school, girls would make it very known to me how they felt about me. I felt nothing back and I did my best to ignore them, even if they continued trying to advance; I wouldn't stop them. I would just ignore them and would pretend they didn't exist while I lived in my own world. Sometimes I got pressured into doing things I didn't want to do, but I didn't know how to tell them to stop, etc. Sometimes my lack of words or actions hurt their feelings, and I remember when a friend of one of the girls who had a huge crush on me punched me on the last day of school and said she hated me. I never spoke a word to her or her friend, I never did anything bad to them, or so I thought.

It goes without saying that I've always struggled to connect with other people. I don't feel like I completely understand them and as time goes on I often feel like I'm better off not trying. People suck, they're complicated, you never really have the full picture. But people can also be great. You never really know what someone's true colors are until they show, and you won't know that they've shown until they do. People aren't black and white and that's difficult to navigate. I have a lot of pent up frustration, rage, hatred towards humanity as a collective so I know how that feels. Sometimes my feelings go too far but that doesn't change that I have them and that I will allow myself to feel them. I know that they are feelings, and that feelings pass if you allow yourself to process them. People at their core are self-serving, and this can manifest in ways that may even make one look altruistic. You never really know what someone's ulterior motivations may be.

There are billions of people on this planet and that makes the potentials for both bad experiences and good experiences with people basically infinite. Couple that with just how complex a person is, and what you have is a right mess. I don't necessarily know if anything I've said is comforting or helpful, but I would say that sometimes it's okay to crashout within reason. It's okay to be upset, but it's important to recognize that feelings pass, things change, how you feel right now won't last forever. Your bad experiences won't go away, but that doesn't mean every experience going forward is going to be bad. I struggle in my own ways to understand people, and I have a lot of negative feelings towards people as a whole, but I do my best to stay open-minded and levelheaded, and that's the best I can do. I've had periods in my life where I thought I finally got people, only to realize that I couldn't've been more wrong. It's a perpetual learning process.
 
I definitely feel you on this one! Growing up everyone had boyfriends and were always talking about boys and I was left out. No one wanted me, I was considered attractive enough because I didn’t straighten my hair or weigh a certain amount. I did glow up! People switched right after and started to ‘want’ me. It does bother me a lot and gives me a lot of issues towards myself. I try not to sweat it too much though, even if it is hard! The right person will love you no matter what.
 
puppycr34m said:
Anyone here just really ugly as a kid? Like no one wanted to touch you or have anything to do with you? Animals being the only honest love and connection you had? They never judged you for your looks they just loved you. Their feelings so honest and pure and no ulterior motives. Any of you had a glow up? You ever realize how different people treat you? How you're somehow more valuable and your feelings matter all of a sudden when people want to fuck you. I'm starting to hate humans. Like a deep seeded hate that makes me want to destroy their confidence. Make them feel disgusting and rejected when they try to get with me. Its fucking laughable how many people say they want to be with you when youre attractive. Your partner telling you its your personality they love when really, you know if you looked like your old self they wouldn't of given you the time of day. This isn't a brag. I'm starting to realize how bitter and angry this has made me and I wanted to vent. Any love from humans feels like a lie. Partners that say they want you for you are bullshitting. Now i know the only real value people see in you is looks or use. Got neither of those things, and you become practically invisible. Starting to realize humans are shit partners who'll gaslight you and waste your time. I'm sure a lot of you have similar opinions, i apologize for the little crashout but please feel free to share you opinions and feelings.
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Hun, I think you might need to take an internet and dating break. I've been through all that stuff, I've almost entirely given up on finding a genuine life partner who isn't just there for sex and I used to feel so angry and bitter like you. Trust me, shut all this off, go do something you love doing and at least go have a good time for a day or so without getting on here or general internet usage if you can help it. I completely understand your pains and depression/agitation. It sounds like you are starting to hit that point where it's affecting your mental state and believe me when I say that will do nothing but dig you deeper into that pit and keep more people away from you. It hurts, but you can recover. Venting helps and I hope posting this has eased that stress a little. The right person for you will love you almost completely unconditionally and would do anything for you that they could if you were in need or crisis. The right person will stick, even if you can't see it at this moment in time. One of my greatest relationships that continues to this day started in July of 2014. It took a while, was really rocky initially but it's persisted and been wonderful. We may fight, we may disagree or other "minor spats" but we live for each other and would die for one another.
 
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