Anyone know where to order animal ejaculate?

No easy process, and you'll most likely have to go through a breeder. Can't just ask for Malamute cum and expect it in 3 days.
 
jwd135 said:
metro.co.uk

New Zealand pub serves apple-flavoured horse semen

A pub in New Zealand has introduced horse semen to its drinks menu, a stomach-churning addition tinged with the wholesome flavour of apple.
metro.co.uk metro.co.uk

There you go. 😉
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I would be very surprised if there actually is any horse cum in that drink.
Also why do you have to change the taste, they ruined it. :D

weirdo said:
It’s ‘for a friend’ ;)
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Cold cum is not tasty and you would get a cleaned version of cum without all the delicious liquids around it.
 
weirdo said:
It’s ‘for a friend’ ;)
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Here we go again... As if this question hasn't been answered what - a dozen times? 2 dozen? more than that? already...

Point 1: You're not going to make any such thing happen without spending a substantial amount of money - Start in the high hundreds to mid thousands of dollars for something common like a dog, and don't be shocked if the price tag has 6 or 7 digits if horse. Figure even higher than that for "exotics".

Point 2: NOBODY who supplies semen is going to sell it to you without *HEAVY* checking up on you. Checking that will include (at a minimum) the pedigree of the female you propose to use it in, the female herself, and may require an on-site inspection of your premises and facilities. If they so much as smell the idea that you're going to try to use it for anything other than gettign a female of the species pregnant, they'll shut the deal down so fast it will likely leave a crater in the ground.

Point 3: Assuming you do find someone, you won't be getting "animal ejaculate". You'll be getting a dose of fluid that's so heavily processed, preserved, extended, and otherwise manipulated that even trying to call it semen is a joke. It will be suitable for nothing but the intended purpose: Being squirted into a female of the species in hopes she catches pregnant. It will bear so little resemblance to what the animal actually squirted that it won't be recognizable as anything but "some sort of fluid" without a microscope and good knowledge of what that species' sperm looks like under high mgnifiication.

Point 4: Assuming that you've gotten this far, what you're going to get for your hundreds, perhaps thousands, maybe even a million dollars or more, *MIGHT* be enough to fill a teaspoon - If the outfit shipping it is REALLY generous with the extenders. Probably closer to half a teaspoon is much more likely.

Does that cover the territory?

If so, can we pin this someplace so that the crazies can't help but stumble over it?
 
UR20Z said:
Here we go again... As if this question hasn't been answered what - a dozen times? 2 dozen? more than that? already...

Point 1: You're not going to make any such thing happen without spending a substantial amount of money - Start in the high hundreds to mid thousands of dollars for something common like a dog, and don't be shocked if the price tag has 6 or 7 digits if horse. Figure even higher than that for "exotics".

Point 2: NOBODY who supplies semen is going to sell it to you without *HEAVY* checking up on you. Checking that will include (at a minimum) the pedigree of the female you propose to use it in, the female herself, and may require an on-site inspection of your premises and facilities. If they so much as smell the idea that you're going to try to use it for anything other than gettign a female of the species pregnant, they'll shut the deal down so fast it will likely leave a crater in the ground.

Point 3: Assuming you do find someone, you won't be getting "animal ejaculate". You'll be getting a dose of fluid that's so heavily processed, preserved, extended, and otherwise manipulated that even trying to call it semen is a joke. It will be suitable for nothing but the intended purpose: Being squirted into a female of the species in hopes she catches pregnant. It will bear so little resemblance to what the animal actually squirted that it won't be recognizable as anything but "some sort of fluid" without a microscope and good knowledge of what that species' sperm looks like under high mgnifiication.

Point 4: Assuming that you've gotten this far, what you're going to get for your hundreds, perhaps thousands, maybe even a million dollars or more, *MIGHT* be enough to fill a teaspoon - If the outfit shipping it is REALLY generous with the extenders. Probably closer to half a teaspoon is much more likely.

Does that cover the territory?

If so, can we pin this someplace so that the crazies can't help but stumble over it?
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I'll make something somewhere, going to search for some other threads and get something out of that to.
 
At that point it will not even taste like cum. So you might be better off doing what porn producers do and mix some yogurt into a bowl of methylcelulose. Looks like horse cum, but actresses can drink it without the risk of ever making a horse erect.
 
dartel said:
With the odds being 1:1 I really don't think you're gonna get any takers on that action.
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Well, y'know what they say: "Hope springs eternal".

(Of course, they ALSO say "hope in one hand and shit in the other, then get back to me when you've got something other than a handful of shit")
 
I've got several tanks full of the stuff, doubt it will do you much good cut with stabilizers and in .5ml straws that cost as much as $150 each but knock yourself out..

A simple google search will provide plenty of sources.


Not sure where UR20Z gets the idea that semen vendors do any sort of vetting on their clients. maybe in the really exotic animal stuff but pigs, sheep, goats, cattle, horses, dogs, it is all readily available shipped to your door in liquid nitrogen for most species. Horses dogs and pigs also ship fresh. the thing is its all cut with stabilizers and extenders to keep the semen viable and/or to allow it to be frozen. Its not going to be much good in your fantasy play, its only really useful to people trying to get animals up the duff.

You too can suck on 4mls worth of grade A spotted appaloosa semen from your dream lover cut liberally with extenders for the low low price of $1200!! :ROFLMAO:
:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 
OutFarming said:
Not sure where UR20Z gets the idea
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Eh, only spending 50-ish years in the horse biz, and seeing the many occurrences of in-depth pedigree checking, the back-and-forth of deciding whether to do biz with someone wanting a jizz-sample for their mare, or being part of the farm/ranch on the receiving end of such scrutiny.

I know that in the beef cattle industry, you can *NEARLY* get straws free for the asking, but in the horse world, I've never seen a case that DIDN'T include fairly extensive checking. Probably related to the assorted stud-books in the horse industry, and how "exclusive" some of them are. Dogs are, or so I've been given to understand, even worse due to all the cliques and "gatekeeper" types involved.
 
UR20Z said:
Eh, only spending 50-ish years in the horse biz, and seeing the many occurrences of in-depth pedigree checking, the back-and-forth of deciding whether to do biz with someone wanting a jizz-sample for their mare, or being part of the farm/ranch on the receiving end of such scrutiny.

I know that in the beef cattle industry, you can *NEARLY* get straws free for the asking, but in the horse world, I've never seen a case that DIDN'T include fairly extensive checking. Probably related to the assorted stud-books in the horse industry, and how "exclusive" some of them are. Dogs are, or so I've been given to understand, even worse due to all the cliques and "gatekeeper" types involved.
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Eh, last time I orered horse semen, fresh not frozen, for AI they made me fill out a form and made sure my credit card cleared. This was hilariously for that spotted appaloosa semen. Are you into race horses or high end show horses? That might be the difrence. Never done dog semen but cow, goat and pig if your card clears they ship.
 
OutFarming said:
Eh, last time I orered horse semen, fresh not frozen, for AI they made me fill out a form and made sure my credit card cleared. This was hilariously for that spotted appaloosa semen. Are you into race horses or high end show horses? That might be the difrence. Never done dog semen but cow, goat and pig if your card clears they ship.
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The higher-end barns are where you're most likely to see the "gatekeeping". Most outfits that will sell you semen have at least some interest in making sure that the offspring so produced will reflect well on their own name, as well as yours.

At the end of the day, though, the reality remains: Even if the only "questions" are "How much do you want, what's your credit card number, and where do you want it shipped?", the idea that you're going to get "a bucket of horse jizz", rather than "a fraction of a teaspoon of processed-to-the-point-of-unrecognizable" glop is a pipe-dream that isn't worth the effort it takes to consider.
 
UR20Z said:
The higher-end barns are where you're most likely to see the "gatekeeping". Most outfits that will sell you semen have at least some interest in making sure that the offspring so produced will reflect well on their own name, as well as yours.

At the end of the day, though, the reality remains: Even if the only "questions" are "How much do you want, what's your credit card number, and where do you want it shipped?", the idea that you're going to get "a bucket of horse jizz", rather than "a fraction of a teaspoon of processed-to-the-point-of-unrecognizable" glop is a pipe-dream that isn't worth the effort it takes to consider.
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Hence my joke at the end about sucking on 4mls of heavily cut horse jizz.
 
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