A necessary but hard decision

MypupandI69

MypupandI69

Citizen of Zooville
I have a hard decision to make I know what the right thing to do is but I don't know if I can make myself do it. I can't get a puppy right now because my roommate is pro neutering and I don't agree with it but I'm okay as long as I don't have to take an animal to get neutered. My roommate's father has a golden lab that I have absolutely fallen in love with and he has fallen for me as well. Well his owner is worried that if I keep seeing Cheif that is the dog's name that he will prefer to live with me and not him and it's an actual concern because after all he isn't mine I didn't buy him. And I already have a good bit of heartache in my life right now and I was hoping that he would help me heal. We have become too attached and now I have to break up with him basically so that he stays with his family. God this sucks cause I know that he will be heart broken and that is killing me but he isn't mine. I can adopt a dog that has similar attributes but it isn't going to be the same.
 
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Hey..It's going to be alright. You aren't seeing the future clearly because you have so much to deal with in front of you. Trauma, loss, grief, unfortunately we are going to have to deal with these at some time in our lives. And sometimes they double, triple or quadruple up and it can feel like there is SO much hurt that it will never end. But the fact that you are reaching out, wanting to talk or get advice is PROOF that you are going to get through it. I'm around any time you want to talk my guy. I wish there was something I could say or do that would wipe all this away for you. I can't fight for you, but I can fight next to you if you need me.
 
If your next friend is a female dog the new method of spaying leaves her intact except for a uterus.

As I live in a family situation my girls end up desexed to remove suspicion. My previous Dane X was desexed at age 18 months after her second heat so she could grow to her full size. She lived to nearly 12 and we had sex for most of her life, she used to love riding me cowgirl.

My new girl is an even bigger Dane X but this time I went with the new Ovarian Sparing Spay. This means she will have a heat cycle like normal but with almost no discharge. She will be desirable to any male dog but cannot get pregnant. The logic is with her ovaries she will live a happier and healthier life. The plus side is sex is possible when ever she wants.
 
I am against neutering in general and it's not that I don't care about overpopulation it's that I hate the idea of having to remove an animals ability to reproduce just for my conviniance. I feel that it's my duty to make sure she feels satisfied and happy enough that she doesn't want to run off to fuck a stud . However I'm stuck wondering is it in their nature to want to have puppies or just to be sexualy satisfied. If they are really looking to satisfy an itch that they can't scratch because of hormones do to the cycle and don't necessarily want to get pregnant then my task is simple. Make sure she's satisfied so she doesn't want to escape and i wouldn't be against getting an OSS done in that case. But if she is aware of what is happening with her and is actually looking forward to having puppies and raising them. I can't be the person to take that from her and am more than willing to help raise them and support her through that process. Even if it's financially hard on me to do so.

I get a female I want her fully intact because the pros don't cancel the cons she can still end up with cancer either way. The only thing i would be preventing is her getting pyro and and the mess which doesn't bother me. Hell I will buy doggy diapers just to keep my roommate happy I'd buy furniture covers and extra towels to keep things nice but no matter what I suggest he doesn't want me to get an intact female. Mostly because he's afraid of her marking territory in the house which can happen weather they are neutered or not. He's also worried about his neutered female not getting along with mine.

He doesn't want me getting an intact male because of humping and the same marking territory bs. He also doesn't listen and he is very set in his ways just will not budge. So in other words I either adopt a neutered animal from the local pound or I am not getting a companion until i get the chance to live on my own or maybe bunk with another zoo. I don't want to take a mate to the vet to get them neutered it doesn't set right. Now I'm crying damn it.
 
MypupandI69 said:
He doesn't want me getting an intact male because of humping and the same marking territory bs. He also doesn't listen and he is very set in his ways just will not budge. So in other words I either adopt a neutered animal from the local pound or I am not getting a companion until i get the chance to live on my own or maybe bunk with another zoo. I don't want to take a mate to the vet to get them neutered it doesn't set right. Now I'm crying damn it.
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It's ok. So, you don't have to answer if it's revealing too much, but why is it that your rommie seems to be able to have anything THEY want but you cannot?
 
Because I'm too supportive and decent of a person to tell him to fuck off. He's my best and only friend irl that I have left and he doesn't understand my point of view and the only reason why I moved out with him is so he doesn't but heads with his father anymore. That's beside the point. I moved out because he said he would let me be me as long as I don't get involved with his shit. However he's since decided to be a controlling neat freak with a dog that hasn't been socialized much with other animals. I wish I could move but I'm stuck here until the end of the contract which will be next year. Even then rent is so high in large pet friendly places that I can't afford to support a mate and myself and still be able to pay bills. It's complicated 😕
 
I understand. Things like this are often times complicated. I obviously don't know him or your past with him, but it's kind of a crappy thing for a "friend" to do acting like that towards you. I won't say more, because it's not my place to judge, but it just came off as kind of mean in my mind.
Have you been able to do much price checking on places you could live when the lease is up? I know a year, especially when going through troubled times, can seem like an eternity, but it will come and go quickly. If you started looking around now, you may find that some complexes can offer different prices for "upcoming" openings (like units that a tenant will be leaving in a few months). I've been able to snag apartments at a good price just by signing on to take it over when the tenant leaves (the less work a renter has to do to rent a unit, the more likely they will work with prices)
 
Sterilization is always a lottery, because you don't know in advance how much the doctor who performs the operation will cut the vagina. It depends on whether the sex will work after that.
Most of the time, the ovary doesn't matter. Apart from heat, bitches live with very few hormones, they usually turn off. Therefore removal of the ovaries rarely causes sexual decline. Cutting the vagina, on the other hand, can cause a physical limitation.
 
An option you may not have considered is getting a dog that's in a registry for your area (AKC, CKC, UKC, etc) and at least *claim* that you are contemplating breeding, but even if you do not actually intend to breed her, showing in conformation requires that the dog be unaltered. I highly encourage zoos to participate in dog shows and there's far more to do than just conformation, they are wonderful opportunities to build on our relationship with the dog and help build confidence and useful behaviors for both human and canine alike. That it also serves as good cover for not spaying is just an added benefit.

As for the grief and loss, I can relate and I am sorry you are having to deal with that. It is unfortunately a common thing we just have to deal with as part of being dogzoos; it is soul crushing and it sucks so very much, but the only other choice is to wall yourself off and not love or care, which itself is soul crushing.

As for neutering, there are times when it is necessary and for many bitches it's going to be advisable at some point in their lifetimes. Pyometra, an infection of the uterus, is fatal if not caught very early on. The risk of pyo goes up as she ages and is more or less likely depending on her breed. There are some very good papers out there on the topic and I encourage all zoos who love bitches to educate themselves on the subject. As it seems has already been mentioned, there are alternative methods of spaying, such as the OSS (Ovary Sparing Spay), but typically in even the traditional spay it doesn't rule out intimacy and sexual behavior. What matters most for the intimate side is that she be allowed to develop into a full-grown adult before being spayed. Bitches who have become adults and have had pleasurable experiences are very likely to retain that interest even after being spayed, which is what is recommended. My last partner was spayed at 2 and I am unfortunately a well endowed man, but we were fully capable of enjoying one another's bodies until old age and arthritis made it no longer as enjoyable for her.
 
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MypupandI69 said:
Hell I will buy doggy diapers just to keep my roommate happy I'd buy furniture covers and extra towels to keep things nice but no matter what I suggest he doesn't want me to get an intact female. Mostly because he's afraid of her marking territory in the house which can happen weather they are neutered or not. He's also worried about his neutered female not getting along with mine.
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We use the same pads as a woman would, they have an adhesive side which sticks to the inside of the seasonal pants and they work very well and are quite affordable. We have never had issues with a bitch marking, which from my experience is mostly a problem with male dogs and even then not a typical issue. We have male and female dogs in the home and outside of puppies, have never had an issue with marking indoors except for one friend's male dogs who did so once when not supervised.
 
Thank you that's what I've been trying to explain to my roommate but he won't listen. So in a year when my contract is up I am leaving and going to be living on my own for now. However I'm going to listen to what mother says and focus on trying to get my mental emotional and social baggage straightened out. Cause I feel like the dumpster behind a chain restaurant.
 
MypupandI69 said:
But if she is aware of what is happening with her and is actually looking forward to having puppies and raising them. I can't be the person to take that from her and am more than willing to help raise them and support her through that process. Even if it's financially hard on me to do so.
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Nature is all about scratching that itch. Most animals get a hell of a surprise when they give birth the first time. Nature uses hormones the help the new mum look after her babies. When a young sucks on a nipple oxytocin is released to bond mum to her baby.
 
The oxytocin is released because if there wasn't any that bitch would have climbed a tree after that pup chewed on her nips for the first time. Its supposed to make it more enjoyable for the mother almost like nature was kind enough to take away some of the pain after deciding that females are the ones who have to give birth.

Anyway hormones do play a big part but just like anything else some amount of decision making goes into it. They probably don't know what is going to happen as a consequence of their actions. That being said they do have enough continuity to feel guilty and scared about it and even though they never ment for it to happen they still love their pups just like my mother loves her mistake of a son. LoL
 
MypupandI69 said:
And I already have a good bit of heartache in my life right now and I was hoping that he would help me heal. We have become too attached and now I have to break up with him basically so that he stays with his family.
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I know how that feels. I know an Australian Shepard that I fell in love with and he absolutely adores me. Its hard going over to my friends just because its an emotional tease seeing their dog.
 
Black_Unicorn said:
If your next friend is a female dog the new method of spaying leaves her intact except for a uterus.

As I live in a family situation my girls end up desexed to remove suspicion. My previous Dane X was desexed at age 18 months after her second heat so she could grow to her full size. She lived to nearly 12 and we had sex for most of her life, she used to love riding me cowgirl.

My new girl is an even bigger Dane X but this time I went with the new Ovarian Sparing Spay. This means she will have a heat cycle like normal but with almost no discharge. She will be desirable to any male dog but cannot get pregnant. The logic is with her ovaries she will live a happier and healthier life. The plus side is sex is possible when ever she wants.
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I'm very intrigued by this new spaying technique! Do you know where I could find out more?
 
NerdNeck said:
I'm very intrigued by this new spaying technique! Do you know where I could find out more?
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OSS question

So I plan on breeding my girl soon, and while I want to keep her intact, I've been playing around with the idea of potentially going for an ovary sparing spay to not having to worry about pyo anymore. It's been a major source of anxiety for me, watching her constantly for 2 months, worrying...
www.zoovilleforum.net www.zoovilleforum.net
 
Wish it were that simple bud but it's not. I now intend on living on my own before getting another mate. For now I'll stick with platonic companions just to maintain my sanity. If I were to get an intact mate I'd be dealing with more stress and drama than what I could take. Plus the only way I can get a mate that isn't neutered is by buying a puppy which I don't currently have time to raise. Therefore it's better if I have a little patience and wait. Not to forget my roommate isn't a zoo and won't treat my mate with respect.
 
MypupandI69 said:
Wish it were that simple bud but it's not. I now intend on living on my own before getting another mate. For now I'll stick with platonic companions just to maintain my sanity. If I were to get an intact mate I'd be dealing with more stress and drama than what I could take. Plus the only way I can get a mate that isn't neutered is by buying a puppy which I don't currently have time to raise. Therefore it's better if I have a little patience and wait. Not to forget my roommate isn't a zoo and won't treat my mate with respect.
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It sounds like you have a good plan. Delayed gratification tends to work better than being rash.

What does being a zoo have to do with him showing respect? If you're going to be open about it, he is likely not to treat you with respect. Otherwise, I don't see the problem.
 
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