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Hard to understand one's balance ?

Hello everyone 👋

A little bit of context for this post. I'm a sapphic woman on my twenties. I've never been in an active relationship with any of my babies, for a lot of reasons. The closest I ever had to a lover was "A", my childhood pony. All my longterm relationships were exclusively with women. I had sex with men as a way to "fullfil some needs", without any real emotions.

But here's the pivot point. A few years ago, when I really started to dig into who I was, what I felt, I understood that the discomfort I felt in my relationships what in parts due to them being humans. I've always had a hard time understanding my peers, probably due to autism. But with this new light, maybe it wasn't the only factory at play.

I am fiancee with a women, it's been 2 years. But . . . I really feel like this relationship has an expiration date, especially since she is a fervent anti-zoo (oh, the irony), and I'm a bit lost. Also, due to me being in France, being a Z-exclusive is nearly impossible unless if I was an hermit.

Do you have some tips to spare for someone Lost in her feeling ? How did you understand fully who you are ?
Looking at the dichotomia between "Z-Exclusive" and "Fetish" makes me wonder if a middle ground exists ?

Sorry for the long text, I hope you have a lovely week !

Much Love 🫰

N.B : Sorry if typos and mistakes are in my post, I may be bilingual, English is still not my mother tongue 🫰
 
I'm sorry to hear that...
I'm not the best at giving relationship advice, although I'm kind of seasoned with being a zoophile while others around being against it.
You have to reflect about it, think if those people's opinions on it matter, and how you stand with that. And remember to be true with yourself otherwise you'll struggle, and once you achieve it, you can deal with it humanely ( indulging rather than abstaining )
 
Write it all down and read it and add to it several times until you feel like you described yourself.

Ooooh, that's a really clever way to do it, thanks for the intel 🫶
I'm sorry to hear that...
I'm not the best at giving relationship advice, although I'm kind of seasoned with being a zoophile while others around being against it.
You have to reflect about it, think if those people's opinions on it matter, and how you stand with that. And remember to be true with yourself otherwise you'll struggle, and once you achieve it, you can deal with it humanely ( indulging rather than abstaining )
Be loving, be kind, be yourself is the kind of motto I can try to follow. Sometimes a positive outcome can emerge from a rather sad event. Thanks for the reminder 🫶
 
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