m20 my "new" boyfriend situation.

[DragonsPath]

okay so i started dating this guy couple months ago who i see alot, and well everything was going well until i tried to test his vibe with personal stuff (like for example my zoosexuality) i brought it up indirectly just to see what his view on it is, and well he was not fond of it. his dad was zoo but he mentioned to me he disliked his father for being into zoo which is why he cut contact with him and his family for over 15-20 years (he also cut contact for other reasons too). so its like im thinking do i really want to be with this guy if he indirectly told me he dislikes me for who i am? should i call it quits? he said anyone who is into nonhumans in a romantic way does deserve to die so im like, is he telling me i should die? (he dosent know im zoo, but it really just feels like we dont connect at all)

i know unfortunately alot of people in life are anti-zoo in some way.. but its like should i just settle down with a anti? or should i search the sea and take a risk to know someone who genuinely is similar to me? someone i can connect with? i want to be able to be open with my partner not have to keep stuff to myself.

we are also talking about getting married which then im thinking do i really want to spend 2-3 decades (amount which i think he has left in his life since he is older) with someone i cant be honest with? if i do get married i feel like i will just have to ride out the marriage and wait until he passes away so that i can be with a non human. (im zoo exclusive to add to this, i dont even know how i got myself mixed up with a human to begin with)

 

[CanineCarouser]

wait until he passes away so that i can be with a non human.

What makes you think he would pass first? Don't let your life slip you by. You could be in a deadly car crash tomorrow. The world is on fire and definitely getting hotter.

Secure your dreams TODAY. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

 

[Zarky]

Don't sell yourself too short on not knowing how to date humans, from everything I've read, looks like you're on the precipice of a serious relationship with one of them now.
There are many kinds of intimacy, one kind that is very often overlooked due to its not necessarily sexual nature is the type of intimacy where you are simply able to be your whole self around someone that you love, who also loves you for the fact that they know they whole you.
Seems like a pretty cynical way to start a relationship by counting down the decades till they pass and you can finally be yourself this time. Also seems cruel to the person, on the receiving end of that kind of relationship.

Life often affords us more choices than we can see in the moment.

 

[TThhoommaass]

You do seem pretty happy with him. How serious are you about zoo because they don't seem compatible. If he is good to you, I don't think you should be zoo behind his back. If being zoo is really important to you then I don't think you should marry him because it'll be like living two lives and it'll tear you apart. Maybe you can soften him on zoo and get to be both married and zoo. That would be the best outcome, but IDK you make it sound like he is pretty vehemently anti-zoo. I don't even talk to my own friends and families about being zoo so I have no advice for how to bridge the two worlds. I am not a therapist either but I believe pretending to be something you aren't is harmful.

I hope you find a perfect solution.

 

[DragonsPath]

its not that i want to be with a non human behind his back or cheat or do anything of the sort.. he is a good guy. its just that you know if im going to lock down i want it to either be with a nonhuman, or a human who i can talk to about these things. im pretty active in the zoo community (outside of zoovile) so i shouldnt feel like i HAVE to hide who i am around him in fear of ridicule. Im not thinking of ending it because i want to be with a nonhuman. Im just thinking of ending it because its similar in a way if you were for example a bisexual male dating a homophobic woman.

if im ever in a relationship with a human i want them to accept all of me zooey and all.. and part of the reason is, he said when he found out his father is zoo, he told all his friends and it also makes me realize he is a person who surrounds himself with gossip and drama. he did not need to do that to his father, his fathers life was non of his business to be sharing openly.

also if he does not like "those type of people" then me being silent and lying to him telling him "yeah im not a zoo" is being dishonest and leading him down a path of lies.. i am a very honest person i wouldnt want to trick someone who hates me into loving me by changing myself or my perspective. i have a very open positive view of zoo and i also have a decent group of zoo friends who i have grown close with over the past 2 years (compared to the 2 months we have been together) what im thinking is do i want to sacrifice all of this to be with him?


a major requirement in my relationship is honesty, i have visited his house and i saw gay porn on the tv (he blamed it on his roommates) which then later he confessed it was a lie.. i mean why do you want to lie? im alright if he watches porn i do not have the "control/jealousy" mindset that 75% of relationships tend to have.

TLDR: I am perfectly fine being monogamous with him and being loyal, i have absolutely no interest in having a "side" dog or horse behind his back while we are together. Its just that if i can trust and confide in my small social zoo group (we have also face revealed) more than my husband-

-is he really worth it?

 

[DragonsPath]

Don't sell yourself too short on not knowing how to date humans, from everything I've read, looks like you're on the precipice of a serious relationship with one of them now.
There are many kinds of intimacy, one kind that is very often overlooked due to its not necessarily sexual nature is the type of intimacy where you are simply able to be your whole self around someone that you love, who also loves you for the fact that they know they whole you.
Seems like a pretty cynical way to start a relationship by counting down the decades till they pass and you can finally be yourself this time. Also seems cruel to the person, on the receiving end of that kind of relationship.

Life often affords us more choices than we can see in the moment.

what's more cruel is lying to him to sustain the relationship, he already told me his thoughts on those type of people. If i pretend to not be something he dislikes, then i am manipulating him.. If i tell him i am zoo im sure he would easily leave me anyways, which would make me kinda realize the connection we had wasent that strong in the first place.

and yes you are right the kind of intimacy where you could just share whatever thoughts, emotions and feeling you have with a person (or nonhuman) is the kind where you could be yourself around them is the best.

im just on a 2-way railroad

the quote 'The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie' really makes me question if its the right choice.

 

[DragonsPath]

You do seem pretty happy with him. How serious are you about zoo because they don't seem compatible. If he is good to you, I don't think you should be zoo behind his back. If being zoo is really important to you then I don't think you should marry him because it'll be like living two lives and it'll tear you apart. Maybe you can soften him on zoo and get to be both married and zoo. That would be the best outcome, but IDK you make it sound like he is pretty vehemently anti-zoo. I don't even talk to my own friends and families about being zoo so I have no advice for how to bridge the two worlds. I am not a therapist either but I believe pretending to be something you aren't is harmful.

I hope you find a perfect solution.

Being zoo for me isn't the 'act' so me living a double life isnt on my agenda, being zoo (or gay) is a aspect of your personality. its a queer aspect of who you are as a person. (at least for me anyways) for me being zoo is me realizing im part of a community that supports animal liberation, nonhuman autonomy, the Zeta zoo community is very much an animal rights group, it means knowing nonhumans for more than they are recognized. That canines, felines, and equines.. they all have the value and worth of a person they are not just "animals" and that also extends to sexual free will of the being as well. Respecting the bodies of nonhumans (im against the neutering and artificial insemination of nonhumans) and my beliefs also go further recognizing nonhumans as spiritual beings (i know im heading into theology which is off topic) but being a zoo means much more to me than just "sex" which itself is sometimes a byproduct of the beautiful act of love.

i am zoosexual so i still am all for the act (but i would never cheat nor feel to need to be with a nonhuman while im with him) i just think because i have a small zoo group who i have face/location revealed before while still remaining in strong connection i just have different views on it. it feels good to have a genuine group of friends who accept you and wont hurt you, and your partner should at least part of that social circle of trust i think

 

[Zarky]

what's more cruel is lying to him to sustain the relationship, he already told me his thoughts on those type of people. If i pretend to not be something he dislikes, then i am manipulating him.. If i tell him i am zoo im sure he would easily leave me anyways, which would make me kinda realize the connection we had wasent that strong in the first place.

and yes you are right the kind of intimacy where you could just share whatever thoughts, emotions and feeling you have with a person (or nonhuman) is the kind where you could be yourself around them is the best.

im just on a 2-way railroad

the quote 'The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie' really makes me question if its the right choice.

Those are two very good points you just made there, and also a nice quote.
Also, to touch on something that you mentioned in another reply, two months is a isn't nearly enough time spent dating to ever consider making things permanent with somebody. Come to think of it, I personally consider that a bit of a red flag to ask that from you so soon.
Lastly, you have some close zoo friends you say, don't you think shunning you're friends is kinda a crappy thing to do?

I'm not saying any of this stuff to try and make you feel bad. Dating as a zoo is difficult, quite frankly dating humans is difficult regardless. Lol
Respectfully yours

 

[DragonsPath]

Those are two very good points you just made there, and also a nice quote.
Also, to touch on something that you mentioned in another reply, two months is a isn't nearly enough time spent dating to ever consider making things permanent with somebody. Come to think of it, I personally consider that a bit of a red flag to ask that from you so soon.
Lastly, you have some close zoo friends you say, don't you think shunning you're friends is kinda a crappy thing to do?

I'm not saying any of this stuff to try and make you feel bad. Dating as a zoo is difficult, quite frankly dating humans is difficult regardless. Lol
Respectfully yours

no you dont make me feel bad or anything lol, its just personal things i got to figure out, thanks for the reply though you have given me a tad bit to think about tonight

 

[Horsty power dog]

okay so i started dating this guy couple months ago who i see alot, and well everything was going well until i tried to test his vibe with personal stuff (like for example my zoosexuality) i brought it up indirectly just to see what his view on it is, and well he was not fond of it. his dad was zoo but he mentioned to me he disliked his father for being into zoo which is why he cut contact with him and his family for over 15-20 years (he also cut contact for other reasons too). so its like im thinking do i really want to be with this guy if he indirectly told me he dislikes me for who i am? should i call it quits? he said anyone who is into nonhumans in a romantic way does deserve to die so im like, is he telling me i should die? (he dosent know im zoo, but it really just feels like we dont connect at all)

i know unfortunately alot of people in life are anti-zoo in some way.. but its like should i just settle down with a anti? or should i search the sea and take a risk to know someone who genuinely is similar to me? someone i can connect with? i want to be able to be open with my partner not have to keep stuff to myself.

we are also talking about getting married which then im thinking do i really want to spend 2-3 decades (amount which i think he has left in his life since he is older) with someone i cant be honest with? if i do get married i feel like i will just have to ride out the marriage and wait until he passes away so that i can be with a non human. (im zoo exclusive to add to this, i dont even know how i got myself mixed up with a human to begin with)

Living with an anti-zoo is a complicated situation, even in relation to these experiences or the unglorifying behavior of his family (his dad and others).

For now, he doesn’t know who you really are (what you love deep down and in the depths of your being), I find this situation wobbly if your partner is not ready to move forward with you or even understand what you’re going through, what drives you to do this or even move forward in the same direction as you, that is to understand and/ or ignore it.

Try to either change for him/ make him like you, or get away from him and find someone who fits your expectations.

The basis of a couple is sharing and being exclusive to the word, it’s the right solution I find.

 

[DragonsPath]

Living with an anti-zoo is a complicated situation, even in relation to these experiences or the unglorifying behavior of his family (his dad and others).

For now, he doesn’t know who you really are (what you love deep down and in the depths of your being), I find this situation wobbly if your partner is not ready to move forward with you or even understand what you’re going through, what drives you to do this or even move forward in the same direction as you, that is to understand and/ or ignore it.

Try to either change for him/ make him like you, or get away from him and find someone who fits your expectations.

The basis of a couple is sharing and being exclusive to the word, it’s the right solution I find.

thanks for the reply, although the changing aspect is virtually impossible (if the government knew how to change someone's sexuality then by their choice everyone would be heterosexual) i understand what you meant. Mainly me opening up about my thoughts and desires to someone just feels like the next step to building a strong relationship. if he cant accept (or at least ignore it like you said) me for who i am then the relationship growth stunts and stops there i guess. I will take your comment into consideration.

 

[TThhoommaass]

Being zoo for me isn't the 'act' so me living a double life isnt on my agenda, being zoo (or gay) is a aspect of your personality. its a queer aspect of who you are as a person. (at least for me anyways) for me being zoo is me realizing im part of a community that supports animal liberation, nonhuman autonomy, the Zeta zoo community is very much an animal rights group, it means knowing nonhumans for more than they are recognized. That canines, felines, and equines.. they all have the value and worth of a person they are not just "animals" and that also extends to sexual free will of the being as well. Respecting the bodies of nonhumans (im against the neutering and artificial insemination of nonhumans) and my beliefs also go further recognizing nonhumans as spiritual beings (i know im heading into theology which is off topic) but being a zoo means much more to me than just "sex" which itself is sometimes a byproduct of the beautiful act of love.

i am zoosexual so i still am all for the act (but i would never cheat nor feel to need to be with a nonhuman while im with him) i just think because i have a small zoo group who i have face/location revealed before while still remaining in strong connection i just have different views on it. it feels good to have a genuine group of friends who accept you and wont hurt you, and your partner should at least part of that social circle of trust i think

Alright, and you don't have to agree with me of course, but if this is that core to who you are I don't know how you can responsibly continue your relationship with your boyfriend. Maybe you can soften him to zoo, that would be great, but you need to be safe more than anything else. I wouldn't recommend being a secret zoo with him. Its living a double life which cannot be healthy for you and is unfair to him.
But I am not a therapist so I could also just be talking out of my ass. Just listen to everyone with an open mind, think long and hard about how to continue, then take the next step with confidence.

 

[Horsty power dog]

thanks for the reply, although the changing aspect is virtually impossible (if the government knew how to change someone's sexuality then by their choice everyone would be heterosexual) i understand what you meant. Mainly me opening up about my thoughts and desires to someone just feels like the next step to building a strong relationship. if he cant accept (or at least ignore it like you said) me for who i am then the relationship growth stunts and stops there i guess. I will take your comment into consideration.

An informed advice, which I can give you, live according to your vision of life and your precepts, find someone who is in your direction and who is open in the discussions on the subject or topics.

I am single of 28 years, and do not wish to fall in love with a person who does not like animals or brings them situations of blur when I come to address the subject of bestiality...

I am confident that you will find someone who accepts all this! .