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I think she hates me 🐴

ZephyrZoo

ZephyrZoo

Citizen of Zooville
Hi all,

I've written about this gorgeous chestnut mare before and you've all been super helpful. Again I'm asking those more experienced than me to maybe give me some ideas.

So we've spent tons of time together grooming, training and riding and I think we've bonded really well and have good chemistry. A lot of the time when I arrive she practically sprints to greet me and follows me around like my shadow constantly asking for scratches and attention. But the problem I'm facing is that some days, probably 30% of the time, I go to visit her and it's like she can't stand me, like I'm her worst enemy. Ears flat, won't even look at me. If I reach my hand out to touch her she threatens to bite me.

[IMAGE]


(Wet, rainy, grumpy girlie☝🏻) And it's absolutely unprovoked from what I can tell. It's like she just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I can't seem to figure it out, I just want her to be at ease when I'm around and enjoy the time we spend together.

Any advice or insight will be appreciated.

(For context she's at a small, local livery down the road and hangs out mostly with an elderly gelding and another placcid mare. No stallions on site. I visit her probably three times a week)
 
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ZephyrZoo said:
Hi all,

I've written about this gorgeous chestnut mare before and you've all been super helpful. Again I'm asking those more experienced than me to maybe give me some ideas.

So we've spent tons of time together grooming, training and riding and I think we've bonded really well and have good chemistry. A lot of the time when I arrive she practically sprints to greet me and follows me around like my shadow constantly asking for scratches and attention. But the problem I'm facing is that some days, probably 30% of the time, I go to visit her and it's like she can't stand me, like I'm her worst enemy. Ears flat, won't even look at me. If I reach my hand out to touch her she threatens to bite me.
View attachment 632034
(Wet, rainy, grumpy girlie☝🏻) And it's absolutely unprovoked from what I can tell. It's like she just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I can't seem to figure it out, I just want her to be at ease when I'm around and enjoy the time we spend together.

Any advice or insight will be appreciated.

(For context she's at a small, local livery down the road and hangs out mostly with an elderly gelding and another placcid mare. No stallions on site. I visit her probably three times a week)
Click to expand...
It's been said (with scary accuracy) that you "tell a gelding", "ask (if not outright beg) a mare", and "negotiate with a stallion". It's also been said, with equal accuracy, that if you want to ride 28 different horses on 28 different days, get a mare...

Long and short of it, a mare is one of the most erratic creatures on earth - Today she's a pocket pony, tomorrow she's grumpy, the day after that, she can't decide whether she's a pocket pony or a grump, and the day after that, she wants your hide nailed to the barn wall.

Erratic attitude is sort of a trademark of mares. All you can REALLY do is "get used to it".
 
My mother has two mares, although I don't attracted to them, sometimes I have to take care of them because she is "busy" (lazy).
One of them behaves similarly as you described. She is evil half the time, calm the other half. The other one is always very gentle, I stand on the bar on the side of the stable and sit on she without saddle and she has no problem with it, she starts and ride. I behave the same with both. 🤷‍♂️
I haven't ridden much, I don't like it. I prefer to put a lever in D and ride like that.
 
UR20Z said:
The Byrds did a song about a chestnut mare... :)
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Never put any faith into all the warnings about the attitude of a chestnut mare, until I bought a absolutely gorgeous two year old chestnut appaloosa, one could say that I fucked around and found out 😂

Just because it's a good song 😁

- YouTube

W YouTube możesz cieszyć się filmami i muzyką, które lubisz, przesyłać oryginalne treści i udostępniać je swoim bliskim, znajomym i całemu światu.
youtu.be youtu.be
 
unfortunately I approve of the tenants above, there is little to say except trying to understand why that day she decided that you do not suit her.

mine with age happens that she changes even just during the day while we are together, sometimes just because I petted her field companion before her (Editor's note: second mare) she remains offended for hours...
 
Mare Lover 1975 said:
Never put any faith into all the warnings about the attitude of a chestnut mare, until I bought a absolutely gorgeous two year old chestnut appaloosa, one could say that I fucked around and found out 😂

Just because it's a good song 😁

- YouTube

W YouTube możesz cieszyć się filmami i muzyką, które lubisz, przesyłać oryginalne treści i udostępniać je swoim bliskim, znajomym i całemu światu.
youtu.be youtu.be
Click to expand...
Gotta love that jangly 12-string...
 
qweqwe said:
unfortunately I approve of the tenants above, there is little to say except trying to understand why that day she decided that you do not suit her.

mine with age happens that she changes even just during the day while we are together, sometimes just because I petted her field companion before her (Editor's note: second mare) she remains offended for hours...
Click to expand...
IMG_20241217_145020_355.jpg
 
Sounds like my kind of animal tbh, brats can be fun, I like my animals to have a bit of personality, a bit of fire and just to be themselves fully what ever that means
 
Thanks guys, I actually feel so much better. I've been so convinced that it's something I'm doing wrong and it drives me nuts. I'm learning so much as we go along and I'm always terrified of negatively impacting the relationship I've worked pretty hard to build. She's the literal definition of "hard-to-get". I think it's mostly due to my inexperience, but I'm taking it very slowly.

I'm used to canines, my 🐕‍🦺 missus is really the only type of love I've ever known and she's soft, consistent, stable and dependable. All things that horses (or at least chestnuts) are not😂. But I'm loving the experiences and learning a lot about myself in the process.

Thanjs again for all your help.
 
ZephyrZoo said:
Thanks guys, I actually feel so much better. I've been so convinced that it's something I'm doing wrong and it drives me nuts. I'm learning so much as we go along and I'm always terrified of negatively impacting the relationship I've worked pretty hard to build. She's the literal definition of "hard-to-get". I think it's mostly due to my inexperience, but I'm taking it very slowly.

I'm used to canines, my 🐕‍🦺 missus is really the only type of love I've ever known and she's soft, consistent, stable and dependable. All things that horses (or at least chestnuts) are not😂. But I'm loving the experiences and learning a lot about myself in the process.

Thanks again for all your help.
Click to expand...
I would not be too concerned about her behavior at the moment, unless she starts acting like that all the time.

Over the decades I've had literally every single personality type of mare that exists, and a few that expressed all of them in the same day, best advice I have is don't let it bother you and most importantly don't get upset with her, hormonal mares hold grudges for a long time if you ever actually do upset her.
 
Gently but firmly let her know that violence is not acceptable. I allow them to have an opinion, and will even respect it sometimes, but is NOT allowed to hurt you. Just a bop on the nose when she nips is likely enough. And I do mean she gets smacked right as she lunges...not later. Also, never move away unless you are about to be crushed for sure. if she learns she can boss you around, she will. Often, once they know that being a crabby hooves doesn't work, they go back to being sweet.....
 
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