this one honestly hits close to home...
i got myself close to this scenario when i was 13... and all the bullying, abuse, arguments at home and lack of help got the better of me, and i decided 'heck, everyone is better off without me. Even myself, 'caus i don't want to live like this anymore'..
I read or heard somewhere that when suicidal thoughts turn into making actual plans, you are scaringly close to doing it.
I remember it went pretty fast as well; i started thinking about it on a monday or tuesday... and by friday i figured out i wanted to try to enjoy at least the weekend, and call it quits by monday-morning, before i had to go to school again.
And i did all the small things; read my favorite book again, looked through my old photobooks, trying to recall better times, listened to my favorite songs. Because we only had a single tv in the livingroom, and my parents mostly decided what to watch, i snuk downstairs at 3 am or so, and watched my favorite movie for the last time, with headphones in as to not wake anyone up.
Obviously i'm still here (when you're standing close to a highway and trucks race by you so close, they suddenly look quite scary), but it did inadvertently give me an actual experience of 'what would you do when you're end is near'.
Sry that i may've spoiled this thread with a downer of a story..
to make up for it though, and to offer some perspective to the idea of 'what do we do when we die', let me quote Brandon Lee who in turn quoted Paul Bowles;
Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well.
And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really.
How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that.
How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty.
And yet it all seems limitless..