Gimme your best pickup lines!! ;)

[Tittycat]

Pretend I'm that really cute girl, guy, or... perhaps animal ... that you had a crush on when you were in high school. It's a week before prom and your social security depends on your ability to cultivate a date... You walk up to them, looking fly as ever, you open your mouth to speak... and... what do you say?

Gimme your best pickup lines and let others tell you whether you're a definite smash or if they're gonna pass

Punny and Zoo themed pickup lines always land best with me!

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

So, do you live around here often?

 

[Tittycat]

So, do you live around here often?

Can I stick my hard drive into your Linux box?

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

That dress is very becoming on you. Then again, if I was that dress I would be cumming on you too.

 

[upgrayeddd]

Can I stick my hard drive into your Linux box?

I have always been hooorrrible at pickup lines, but I at least have a response to this one: "I prefer SSDs"....oooo or maybe even a more advanced one: "I'll take an SSD, no swap, and BTRFS, not EXT4".

 

[Taopony]

So... I heard you like sugar cubes?

 

[GStep]

I hope you're an ISO file, because I'd like to mount you

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

You must be a Dementor, because you take my breath away

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Did you fall from heaven? Because damn, you must have hit every branch on your way down, and the ground wasn't kind to your face either.

Now that you've lowered your standards... Hi, I'm Floofy!

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Dam gurl, do you have pet insurance? Because your pussy is going to get pounded tonight.......cringe lol

 

[sarahsingletono98]

hi excuse me, I talk too much, I have a short fuse, no free time and I cant stand bullshit.. but in my 5 free minutes I give insane blowjobs, that is if you’re into those?


used it once - crashed and burned the guy was gay ??‍

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Well, in order to test the impact, I suggest a much larger sample size lol.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

I may not have been the one to take your virginity, but can I play with the box it came in?

 

[pes]

Can I take your dog out for a walk? No you stay home, just the dog.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Can I take your dog out for a walk? No you stay home, just the dog.

legen....wait for it...dary lol

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Are you into casual sex, or should I dress up?

 

[sarahsingletono98]

Do you prefer taco Tuesday or anal on Wednesday

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

 

[sarahsingletono98]

Are you wearing a tampon or pad?
neither
so we’re good to go!

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

If I could change the alphabet, I would put the D in U

 

[Cressida]

Heard this from a stand up comedian..

Is that a tampon inside you? Well then let's make a mess!

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Do you want to go on a ate? I will give you the D later

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Wow, your hair looks good. It would look even better if it was in my lap

 

[Jojobean94]

Your parents must be bakers because you are a cutie pie

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Hey cutie what's your sign? Caution slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, or yield?

 

[Tittycat]

I hope you're an ISO file, because I'd like to mount you

Hahaha that's amazing ? definitely smash

 

[Tittycat]

I have always been hooorrrible at pickup lines, but I at least have a response to this one: "I prefer SSDs"....oooo or maybe even a more advanced one: "I'll take an SSD, no swap, and BTRFS, not EXT4".

Excuse me, Sir. This a McDonald's. We don't have Ext4. Only FAT32.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Lets play titanic you'll be the ocean and ill go down on you

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

I have a job for you, but it blows

 

[Cajlatsa]

Must we really keep meeting here in the Kennel