Vanilla just doesn't cut it anymore

I feel this 100%. I know I will never be satisfied with a gf who does not share my kinks because those kinks are not just occassional thoughts that I want to explore a couple times a year like Father's Day and my birthday. They're part of my sexuality and hiding them would ultimately make an unhappy relationship.

I worry if I'll ever find what I'm looking for. It isn't everyday that some can find someone who attracts them physically, has a compatible personality, is in the right spot in their life for a relationship, has non-clashing outlooks on having kids/religion/politics. Then to add in sexual thoughts that most people are socialized to reject/hide.......they're not exactly thoughts I can just put on a dating profile or bring up on the first date.
 
neighborhoodbull said:
I feel this 100%. I know I will never be satisfied with a gf who does not share my kinks because those kinks are not just occassional thoughts that I want to explore a couple times a year like Father's Day and my birthday. They're part of my sexuality and hiding them would ultimately make an unhappy relationship.

I worry if I'll ever find what I'm looking for. It isn't everyday that some can find someone who attracts them physically, has a compatible personality, is in the right spot in their life for a relationship, has non-clashing outlooks on having kids/religion/politics. Then to add in sexual thoughts that most people are socialized to reject/hide.......they're not exactly thoughts I can just put on a dating profile or bring up on the first date.
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I'm right there with you man, it's rough, for sure. It's certainly a challenge living with it.
 
When it comes to women I am a rather shallow man (yeah surprise Iike most guys are now get over it) and I have found myself quite often thing of something else to get me off with some of the women I have been with and zoo sex does it every time.
 
At times yes, for me at least it needs to be somewhat of a balance. Just finding that correct ratio can be tricky.
 
Same. Sad to say, but I have had sex with way too many people, way too many times. While I love vanilla sex, I need whipped cream, caramel drizzle, gummy bears, sprinkles, and a cherry and all that to make it worthwhile: I'm really only quasi-adventurous anyway insofar as trying new things. I like my regular-same-old...but with a few enhancements. I usually drink a little, smoke a little marijuana (*JUST* a little), and incorporate poppers sometimes when I have sex. I identify as queer, but all of my human sexual interactions have been with men so all these things are fairly common in the community. If I'm going to hookup, I'm almost always a touch tipsy and high even if my partner isn't - enough of each to feel but not nearly enough to not feel anything else lol. However, my ex and I was the first situation where he and I both enjoyed 'enhancing' sex in the same way. We weren't intoxicated always, but when we were...🔥🔥phwoof!
 
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