UPDATED @southflorida’s Advice for Vetting and First Meetups

[dddav47]

This is a recent discussion we had in one of our private ZV groups - there's lots of useful info here that provide practical UPDATES to the @SouthFlorida's guidelines from the old BF site! (The original "security tips" had (some) "things to consider" when I was first starting out! )
-- We think these are worth sharing with the general ZV population! You're welcome to comment!

Q: Does anyone have advice on how to go about first time meetups with potential owners/partners? My wife and I would love to find a friend with benefits on the site, but due to the nature of the material we can be a bit skittish.

My initial thoughts were to request that any human participants have STD testing done (because who likes condoms?) and maybe meet up at a public place and "date" a bit first.
Good point - also in the BF article! (Starbucks or McDonald's work for me - can't get much more vanilla than those - also helps remind you to keep it safe on first meet! )

A: Ask if they have a social media account if you get to know them. Make a protonmail account. Never allow photos of the meetings. In the past they have used facial recognition in the EU to bust people. I read years ago so its been around for a long time.
There was a man with 10 acres who set up a website to advertise paid zoo retreats! - The ATF/FBI showed up took his house land away and arrested a visiting cpl, and put down all the animals. So do not believe they have better things to do. The court system always needs money so trust, for me, is a hard thing to earn. Remember face masks or leave cell phones in a vehicle! Heck, especially today, with tracking location enabled in your phone or camera, your metadata tracks everybody.

 

[dddav47]

A: My first (with another human present) playdate was after almost a year of chatting and VIDEO chatting in the chat room at BF!
VIDEO chatting on any platform cuts out a LOT of the B.S. and helps to build the trust that is SO important before ever meeting I.R.L!
Remember, anyone sharing their companion with you is taking a Big Risk too!
The Trust has to be established BOTH ways!!
And! Good point about GPS on the phone! When I had an owner take pics of one of my playdates - he used my old digital camera!! No GPS at all!
(I just wish he'd taken some videos instead of just pics! It turned out to be one of our last playdates before his "life status" changed and playdates were no longer possible - BUT, I am SO glad that I have the pictures for some memories of some great expreiences!) !
ALSO, don't allow others to take your pictures with the promise to share copies with you! - Use your own camera! Keep TOTAL control of your own images!

 

[dddav47]

A: A lot of it is common sense. Watch do not underestimate a desparate man with a crayonout for someone who is too eager and pressuring. Use language with plausible. Remember the fantasy is not illegal only the act or intention to complete the act.
Always speak in fantasy context until trust is established.

Law enforcement is a business. Period. They need illegal activity to thrive. Make sure you are a little fish. The guy with the farm made himself high profile by making a website, probably charging people to stay there.

Make sure this stays amateur. The people they are gonna focus on are the people who are making, distributing, profiting from the pics

Perception is a big thing as well. Law enforcement will go after people penetrating animals more diligently than the will if you are bottoming.

And building that trust and context is important too. The guy
I met let it slip out on another site that was unrelated. I tend to trust those moments more. Watch out for backstories that are too rehearsed and detailed, but also don't sound improvised. And on social media look for an actual history. Scammers, agents, and blackmailers don't often use their own social media.

An easy cheap way to find out more about a person is to type their phone number into Facebook Messenger, and it should pop up their profile right up. You can also take a pic. If they send you a facepic you can do a Google "image search". If it's a "direct copy" from another source Google will find it! And too, you can put it into your photos on facebook, and use their facial recognition tech. If multiple profiles show up under the same face but with slightly different names, thats a dead giveaway.
Facebook has facial recognition software. Instagram does as well. Your car, keys, passport and soon drivers licenses will all be traceable.

Also, if they send you pics to disarm you, make sure a face or a very clear skin marker like a tattoo, birthmark, scar is clearly visible, before you loosen up. I once caught a guy faking a pic, because in one pic his earlobes were attached in one photo and in the next unnattached. Nope.

 

[dddav47]

A: Most personal sites will list a person's longevity with the site. Look for the older and constantly active accounts.

And I keep a background check service account open. If they have any recent arrests for drugs, sex crimes or small time theft, I walk. A lot of times, they will bring in someone and then release them to inform. You are much more likely to get in trouble by getting caught in one of the wider nets law enforcement is doing for drugs, human trafficking, and sex with underage people.

My last serious boyfriend, tried to murder me, and is in prison for it. I vet everyone in my life now if we are meeting IRL.

 

[dddav47]

A: - Be VERY aware of anyone who wants to meet I.R.L. immediately upon meeting! - -For example: "She's in heat Right Now, come on over" on first contact!
Even if this isn't a scam (and it sure sounds like it), they don't know SQUAT about you and it's somebody who doesn't Care about their Companion's Safety and sure as hell don't care about Your safety OR your privacy.
I've seen that play a couple of times - and suggest you unfriend/block them immediately and Run the Other Way!
Yes, we can meet other people who think the way we do! But, we just have to be SMART about it!
(Or, to put it another way - don't let your crotch take over your thinking processes when meeting people!)

 

[dddav47]

A: Do not trust anyone using drugs, especially methamphetamines, which also means the sites they are on. While people use that drug they will be very ready to delve deeper down the what they insultingly call the "Perv trail". They will be right there and down to do whatever, until the drug wears off and then all bets are off, especially if they feel any negativity or shame.
That can lead to dire consequences. I recommend staying away from Zoom Room zoo parties and MeWe type places.

FINALLY: At the end of the day, I agree with all here. Use your better judgement, if something gets your spider senses tingling, pull the rip cord and bail out.
Be cautious, but, not paranoid.
Use the PM functions here and gradually move forward to less "anonymous" phases as you develop that So IMPORTANT TRUST.

Good luck and hopefully your search ends on a good note.

(Thanks to all the group members who contributed to this discussion!)