Ugh... I am very sorry you had this experience. I have to say, I have always been zoo exclusive, so I have never dealt with this problem, but I have heard from many who have. My biggest word of advice would be not telling a partner about being zoo. Of course, there is an air of dishonesty around this - you are not letting your partner in on something that is central to your being, so they do not really know who they are with. On the other hand, if something so central to your being turns them off, you have to wonder whether they really care about you for who you are, or just who they think you are.
It is too bad that they turned from liking you to thinking you were abusive. If only it happened the other way around - you came out as zoo, and then their preconceptions about zoos being abusive were challenged because they knew you, someone they liked who happened to be zoo. That is really the best that anyone coming out could hope for.
If someone is really intent on coming out to their partner at all, they may as well do it before the relationship starts. Sure, the circumstance I gave above is possible, but those are lottery odds. The other person should know who someone is before they get involved with them, knowing who they really are before making a commitment.
To the Original Poster, if it is in any way consoling, remember that if this partner really had these bitter antizoo sentiments, they may not have been someone you would have wanted to hang around anyway. At any time, on any subject, a vitriol similar to what you experienced could have erupted from them. Consider this break sooner rather than later.
Best regard.
