struggling with acceptance (but positive)

[bingus905]

Hello all,
Im sure im not the first and probably wont be the last to make a post like this. Id like to start off by saying this isnt entirely a negative post, Id like to think its somewhat postive even!
But ive recently joined the site to understand my own experiences and feelings and I think I've realized a lot. I mostly read, just trying to understand other perspective and experiences in the zoo community. I've come to realize that I am a member of it, even if I struggle to accept that fact. Its not like... a gross feeling or anything. I wouldn't say I'm disgusted with myself, but I would say I'm uncomfortably relieved in some way. I can say I'm happy this space exists, even though I read in silence mostly, I gotta admit this place is a real cast of characters (postive) and it's comofrting to see/know I'm not alone.
So I guess while I struggle, I'm happy to have found a place to share my future experiences and thoughts!
I'd like to ask: how did you come to realize and accept your zoo tendencies and lifestyle? I havent told anyone except 1 IRL friend who just happens to be into it as well, but discussions with others would be appreciated.

 

[ZephyrZoo]

Hello all,
Im sure im not the first and probably wont be the last to make a post like this. Id like to start off by saying this isnt entirely a negative post, Id like to think its somewhat postive even!
But ive recently joined the site to understand my own experiences and feelings and I think I've realized a lot. I mostly read, just trying to understand other perspective and experiences in the zoo community. I've come to realize that I am a member of it, even if I struggle to accept that fact. Its not like... a gross feeling or anything. I wouldn't say I'm disgusted with myself, but I would say I'm uncomfortably relieved in some way. I can say I'm happy this space exists, even though I read in silence mostly, I gotta admit this place is a real cast of characters (postive) and it's comofrting to see/know I'm not alone.
So I guess while I struggle, I'm happy to have found a place to share my future experiences and thoughts!
I'd like to ask: how did you come to realize and accept your zoo tendencies and lifestyle? I havent told anyone except 1 IRL friend who just happens to be into it as well, but discussions with others would be appreciated.

Hey mate,

I also haven't breathed a word to anyone in real life and I personally think that for our safety and the safety of our animals its better that way. You've posted this in the zoo exclusive lifestyle section so I'm going to assume you're leaning towards that. I've always been into zoophilia and in the last four or five years I've totally embraced my exclusive lifestyle and it's one of the best things I've ever done. My whole life is on another level of peace. It took some time to settle in but really I want for nothing. I have absolutely everything I could ever need and my life is epic. No complications, no restrictions. Just freedom. I'm sure you can relate.

As far as acceptance goes, it was sort of uncomfortable in the beginning but as time goes on it just gets smoother, sweeter and better.

How did I come to realise my lifestyle? Well I knew I liked animals more than people since I was a toddler. The intimate attractions only came when I hit puberty. And other than that I had a pretty normal childhood. Had girlfriend, had lots of sex as a horny teenager and yet nothing quite satisfied. Nothing really felt like I had expected sex to feel. Until I had my first zoo experience. And needless to say the floodgates opened from there. Now I have my own private property where there's nobody else except me and my girl and I really couldn't ask for anything more.

Hope that sounds similar to your situation. Feel free to dm if you need anything.

 

[bingus905]

Hey mate,

I also haven't breathed a word to anyone in real life and I personally think that for our safety and the safety of our animals its better that way. You've posted this in the zoo exclusive lifestyle section so I'm going to assume you're leaning towards that. I've always been into zoophilia and in the last four or five years I've totally embraced my exclusive lifestyle and it's one of the best things I've ever done. My whole life is on another level of peace. It took some time to settle in but really I want for nothing. I have absolutely everything I could ever need and my life is epic. No complications, no restrictions. Just freedom. I'm sure you can relate.

As far as acceptance goes, it was sort of uncomfortable in the beginning but as time goes on it just gets smoother, sweeter and better.

How did I come to realise my lifestyle? Well I knew I liked animals more than people since I was a toddler. The intimate attractions only came when I hit puberty. And other than that I had a pretty normal childhood. Had girlfriend, had lots of sex as a horny teenager and yet nothing quite satisfied. Nothing really felt like I had expected sex to feel. Until I had my first zoo experience. And needless to say the floodgates opened from there. Now I have my own private property where there's nobody else except me and my girl and I really couldn't ask for anything more.

Hope that sounds similar to your situation. Feel free to dm if you need anything.

I appreciate your input! It does sound similar to my experience somewhat, but I went thru a long period of dissociating from myself so I'm learning what makes me feel stuff again. I already tend to keep to myself a lot, mostly put of fear and just general complications of human interactions.
I've always been disappointed a lot in my human relationships, i prefer distance between any partner I have just bc I get overwhelmed socially. I wouldn't say i had a first zoo experience yet, but ive had a dog in the past who has stirred up feelings and recently engaging with the community has made those feelings make sense.
I am leaning towards zoo exclusivity, the endless disappointments of human partners will do that to a person I suppose lol.
Perhaps when I move up from lurker status we can chat! Until then ill be continue my reading here and understanding more abt the community

 

[ZephyrZoo]

I appreciate your input! It does sound similar to my experience somewhat, but I went thru a long period of dissociating from myself so I'm learning what makes me feel stuff again. I already tend to keep to myself a lot, mostly put of fear and just general complications of human interactions.
I've always been disappointed a lot in my human relationships, i prefer distance between any partner I have just bc I get overwhelmed socially. I wouldn't say i had a first zoo experience yet, but ive had a dog in the past who has stirred up feelings and recently engaging with the community has made those feelings make sense.
I am leaning towards zoo exclusivity, the endless disappointments of human partners will do that to a person I suppose lol.
Perhaps when I move up from lurker status we can chat! Until then ill be continue my reading here and understanding more abt the community

Yea I'm with you, I'm also somewhat of a recluse. I work with people all day long and when I'm away from work I'm like a hermit. I like to be left alone too.

I've also had my fair share of shitty human relationships but I've also had some pretty good ones too. I just prefer my animals because it's the way I'm built I suppose. It took a while to accept but now really I couldn't be happier.

All I can suggest to you is that you try it out before you decide to go zoo exclusive. Our minds have a way of painting pictures in our head that are a little unrealistic. Being only with animals brings it's own challenges and really isn't for the faint hearted. But they really are just the best partners.

 

[beast2732]

I've been zoo for about as long as I can remember. I love it, I feel we are the lucky ones because we get to have a much stronger and closer relationship with our pets that "normal" will never experience. However even with all that I still have a little voice of negativity from time to time.

I recently got a new dog and very quickly started falling in love with her. That little voice was telling me I can't love a dog the same way as a human. I'd feel stupid for even thinking it's the same love. But I've come to accept it now because I have felt the same way about a human in the past so why would it be any different? I do lover her and she is my lover.

My 2 cents worth, hopefully it will help you in some way

 

[bingus905]

Yea I'm with you, I'm also somewhat of a recluse. I work with people all day long and when I'm away from work I'm like a hermit. I like to be left alone too.

I've also had my fair share of shitty human relationships but I've also had some pretty good ones too. I just prefer my animals because it's the way I'm built I suppose. It took a while to accept but now really I couldn't be happier.

All I can suggest to you is that you try it out before you decide to go zoo exclusive. Our minds have a way of painting pictures in our head that are a little unrealistic. Being only with animals brings it's own challenges and really isn't for the faint hearted. But they really are just the best partners.

Yeah that last bit right there is definitely why I joined the site. Aside from learning/reading others experiences and meeting like-minded folks, i do hope to meet another guy or fellow ftm to discuss and link up with. It's scary trying to interact with others and Ive def met folks I thought I could introduce this part of myself with, but quickly changed my mind when the subject came up due to their reaction. I sometimes wonder if im making the right choice a lot, but that comes with being in your mid 20s i suppose.

 

[bingus905]

I've been zoo for about as long as I can remember. I love it, I feel we are the lucky ones because we get to have a much stronger and closer relationship with our pets that "normal" will never experience. However even with all that I still have a little voice of negativity from time to time.

I recently got a new dog and very quickly started falling in love with her. That little voice was telling me I can't love a dog the same way as a human. I'd feel stupid for even thinking it's the same love. But I've come to accept it now because I have felt the same way about a human in the past so why would it be any different? I do lover her and she is my lover.

My 2 cents worth, hopefully it will help you in some way

I def experience a lot of "negative voices" i suppose. My internal monologue can be pretty harsh, makes it hard to be myself a lot LMAO but im learning to overcome it. I havent been around a dog in a long time due to university being my focus for awhile and my dissociation period happening. I'd def have to adjust to sharing myself with someone else (whether dog or not) again before anything. Appreciate your input!

 

[lupis_lazuli]

I've come to realize that I am a member of it, even if I struggle to accept that fact.

I'm so glad to hear that you're on your path to acceptance. It is a lifelong journey. There's so much programming to undo. It opens you up to new joy as well as new pain, but to live in accordance with the most earnest version of yourself is the most beautiful thing we can do in this life. I just want to say that I really proud of you. So many like us will remain trapped inside themselves all their life, asking why they can't do or feel the same way everyone else does. Opening the door and embracing all parts of ourselves is a truly terrifying experience, and it's the most important thing we can do in this life.

But what now? How do you get out of the echo chamber of doubt and shame? I can only speak for myself and share my experience. There is no replacement for having in-person zoo friends. It has changed my life completely. I have folks that I spend time with locally. I have friends that I talk to on the phone almost every week. I have friends that I go visit multiple times a year. Being in the presence of someone who you share so much with, yet someone who you have to explain nothing to, it's incredible. Then all these things that exist only in your head turn into things that make up the world around you, if that makes sense. You get to see incredibly beautiful cooperative interspecies relationships that will make you want to cry tears of joy.

It takes real work to find true friends. If you've been on this site for 2 seconds, you begin to see that there's a lot of shit to sift through. But once you meet the right people, it's a cascade effect, and suddenly you're a part of it. Or at least this has been my experience. It requires patience and some smarts, but so much is possible. I don't know where I would be without the offline community that I find myself in now.

You're on a good path now. You're having good thoughts and asking good questions. You're not alone.

 

[nyaanekoneon]

even

I also struggled with acceptance and t was a major part of what led me to attempt suicide. The narrow-mindedness of people is hurtful. It hurts not being able to express a part of yourself, especially if it's a loving one. It's easy if it's just a fetish thing, but if you feel bonds deeper than that that have to be hidden or suppressed that's when it really starts to take a toll.

I do not feel zoo exclusive since my understanding of my feelings is that love and sexual desire can arise for any living being and suppression of that is hurtful and even violent. I can understand why people would feel zoo exclusive and that's totally okay though!

 

[nyaanekoneon]

I'm glad you are allowing yourself to be honest with yourself. I have seen many people struggle with identity and orientation because of the stigmas that are put on those types of topics. People begin to Unintentionally stigmatize themselves. forming untrue beliefs about themselves and when that happens it is a difficult process to identify and recover from. I have found it helpful in the self-discovery process to be open-minded with oneself. I look at my character and attempt to see it for what it is the positive and negative sides of it. I have found that my attraction and relationships with my k9 lover is healthy and positive. The foundation is built on trust and respect. The love that I feel for my k9 partner is deeper than that for any human in my life. And I am a very social person I have struggled with hiding this from people also. I value Authenticity and I believe completely hiding this side of myself is going against that value. So I have found safe spaces and people who I have shared this part of myself with that allows me to be myself. I have had positive and negative experiences with sharing such a intimate fact with people I will say more good than bad by a long shot but the bad is easily remembered because of how scary it was not knowing what the people would do with the information.

I have not had desires to have human partners other than the want to feel normal. I have experimented with people male and female and I could not keep an erection unless a dog was in the room. I have known from puberty that my attraction was to dogs. I have also been through extreme psychological examinations that only confirmed my feelings with dogs. I have had times in my life were I struggled with myself I would go from completely accepting myself proud of who I was and who I was striving to become. To questioning myself and my life. Today I am a caring compassionate and admired individual among my peers. Someone they feel comfortable around and seek my advice often.

I hope this helps in some way.

I really resonate with you saying that you value authenticity and hinding this part of yourself goes against your values. I feel exactly the same way, which is why I tested the limits a bit and told a few close people in my life to gauge reactions, which as most people describe, gets mixed reactions.

I don't feel any personal shame so ideally I would gladly identify myself as a zoophile if asked. But it does hurt being shamed. I honestly don't care about people spreading information about this part of me because quite frankly I'm proud of who I am. What makes me hide it is the fear of violent threats, particularly death threats, and the fear of authrorities sepearating me from my animal because they would see it as abuse. That would break my heart beyond belief.

 

[ShyStableBoy95]

Hello all,
Im sure im not the first and probably wont be the last to make a post like this. Id like to start off by saying this isnt entirely a negative post, Id like to think its somewhat postive even!
But ive recently joined the site to understand my own experiences and feelings and I think I've realized a lot. I mostly read, just trying to understand other perspective and experiences in the zoo community. I've come to realize that I am a member of it, even if I struggle to accept that fact. Its not like... a gross feeling or anything. I wouldn't say I'm disgusted with myself, but I would say I'm uncomfortably relieved in some way. I can say I'm happy this space exists, even though I read in silence mostly, I gotta admit this place is a real cast of characters (postive) and it's comofrting to see/know I'm not alone.
So I guess while I struggle, I'm happy to have found a place to share my future experiences and thoughts!
I'd like to ask: how did you come to realize and accept your zoo tendencies and lifestyle? I havent told anyone except 1 IRL friend who just happens to be into it as well, but discussions with others would be appreciated.

I came to terms with it once I realized that certain feelings never went away, and that they were unique in their intensity and prominence. I've had some experiences with horses, dogs, other animals, and all kinds of people, but I can say without a doubt that stallions by far make me feel "lovey-dovey".

 

[bingus905]

I'm glad a lot of yall have similar experiences and are able to offer kind words in this thread. I made this thread when I first joined and I never got around to replying to everyone unfortunately, but im happy to know there's a lot of kindness being shared! I appreciate it and Im sure others do as well.

 

[boxerlove629]

I love my kinks if I'm being honest. I've only opened up to one person and it was a positive experience. I struggled with myself for a while about the issue when I first started watching videos. But that from that these days. I'm personally growing more comfortable with myself in terms of what I want, and there is a lot. I honestly believe that there are way more people out there that are just scared. Wish the world could open up some.

 

[KnottyGirl78]

I think we all go through this. I know that I have. I would join the forum and enjoy it and than the thought of it was wrong to me so I would leave. And than I would come back after awhile. I did that about twice. Than the last time I came back was it for me. I finally accepted that this is who I was and there was absolutely nothing wrong with it!

 

[bingus905]

I think we all go through this. I know that I have. I would join the forum and enjoy it and than the thought of it was wrong to me so I would leave. And than I would come back after awhile. I did that about twice. Than the last time I came back was it for me. I finally accepted that this is who I was and there was absolutely nothing wrong with it!

There are times I think about deleting my acct and just pretending none of it existed and that I was just as "normal" as others, but I'm trying to stop pushing down parts of myself. The community is very kind and not as horrible as antis paint it to be, i think some of us here love animals in a more genuine and compassionate way than they ever could. Accepting this part of myself has been a lot easier since I joined, though finding others to open up to is the hard part!

 

[KnottyGirl78]

There are times I think about deleting my acct and just pretending none of it existed and that I was just as "normal" as others, but I'm trying to stop pushing down parts of myself. The community is very kind and not as horrible as antis paint it to be, i think some of us here love animals in a more genuine and compassionate way than they ever could. Accepting this part of myself has been a lot easier since I joined, though finding others to open up to is the hard part!

Yes finding others is the hard part. Yeah this time I’m not deleting my account!! I’m here for the long haul haha

 

[lupis_lazuli]

There are times I think about deleting my acct and just pretending none of it existed and that I was just as "normal" as others, but I'm trying to stop pushing down parts of myself. The community is very kind and not as horrible as antis paint it to be, i think some of us here love animals in a more genuine and compassionate way than they ever could. Accepting this part of myself has been a lot easier since I joined, though finding others to open up to is the hard part!

Many folks go through this phase after having suppressed their zoo side for so long. Everything is new and sensitive and you feel like you're a stones throw away from going back to how it was when you could ignore this part of yourself. I can certainly relate to it. Reverting back to how it was doesn't make it go away, it just stalls the healing and acceptance process.

Have no illusions, there will be new pains as you heal and accept yourself. But nothing beats looking at yourself face-to-face and loving every part of yourself. And don't deny yourself the opportunity to love and feel deeply for animals! They need us now more than ever.

 

[bingus905]

Many folks go through this phase after having suppressed their zoo side for so long. Everything is new and sensitive and you feel like you're a stones throw away from going back to how it was when you could ignore this part of yourself. I can certainly relate to it. Reverting back to how it was doesn't make it go away, it just stalls the healing and acceptance process.

Have no illusions, there will be new pains as you heal and accept yourself. But nothing beats looking at yourself face-to-face and loving every part of yourself. And don't deny yourself the opportunity to love and feel deeply for animals! They need us now more than ever.

Very true! I do think turning my back would just make it worse at this point, its an unavoidable part of myself. Even if i ignore it, it's always there.
Self acceptance is very hard for a lot of folks, myself included. But i think we all can overcome it, as corny as it sounds.