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positive changes for me because of zoo?

sadzoo

Tourist
okay this is surprising but me accepting being a zoo is starting to positively motivate me for life in general? i honestly don't have much desire to live but looking forward to having a dog boyfriend gives me more desire to live? and being a zoo also gives me motivation to study and work harder for becoming a vet because i can prove to myself that i love animals and i help them not hurt them if i'm a vet! (i'd like to be an emergency vet both because of the money but mostly because you get to save many animals)
it just sucks that all these positive things come with something so looked down upon...
 
I think it comes with a bunch of other stuff too, honestly. I've thought about this a bunch, like, damn this hand kind of sucks buuuuuuut...

- I feel more empathetic a lot of the time. Like, I'm a big weirdo so I can kind of "get" how people are feeling when they feel weird/out of place/whatever and I think I have a pretty good amount of patience with folks and a hard time being judgemental for a lot of stuff.
- I feel like I try to hold myself accountable pretty vigorously. Like, if I'm thinking about wanting to be with an animal and trying to think how to do that ethically, I really need to try and watch myself and not try to justify stuff to myself just because I want it. This bleeds to other stuff.
- I tend to assume the best of and forgive people. I know I have this crazy secret that I carry around everywhere. I know in real life I present as pretty normal. I see all kinds of people out in the world that are mean, rude, odd, etc, but I know that if I've got this secret life or thought process, other people must have all kinds of crazy shit going on in their lives that I can't possibly imagine. If people knew my thing I'd really really really want them to give me a break so I kind of want to do the same thing to them proactively.

And I'm sure other stuff. I've probably taken some of this to unhealthy extremes at times, and I'm not a saint or anything, but I do feel good parts of these creep into my life and some of it is because of the zoo thing. I think so anyways, what the fuck do I know lol.
 
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