adhdphilosopher
Tourist
I've been a bit nervous to post on the forums, and my first attempt went pretty poorly by all accounts.
I would like to thank the admins for being patient with me and hearing me out (thanks Oldman). I really do have ADHD, and sometimes I have the best intentions, too much energy, but misunderstand the assignment. If you want to hear about my INTRODUCTION TO BEING A ZOO (NSFW) read version 1, if you want to hear about my INTRODUCTION TO THE ZOOVILLE FORUM (I hope I don't fuck this one up) read on. Task successfully failed.
My first zoo experience ended up becoming multiple experiences with the same animal over a period of a few years. Once he passed on (miss you bud) I decided to not pursue any further zoo experiences. The social view on zoophilia is clear, it's wrong, disgusting, immoral, it fact it's so bad you go to prison for it, so it must be pretty bad! So I resolved that what I had done in the past was clearly wrong and I would never do this again.
Except I could never totally stick to it. I would always catch myself slipping, sometimes as I was loading up the tor browser, sometimes after I had finished. The attraction never left, and sometimes it would be almost overpowering. The longer I tried to the deny it the more I wanted it.
I'm 35 now, this cycle of attraction and denial has been going on for quite some time. I'm recently single, coming out of a very unhappy long-term relationship.
This question dominating my mind lately is what would make me happy. In my choice of partner, in how I see myself, anything. I realised self-acceptance is important junction in the road to happiness. For me part of that would be accepting I was a zoo, and I already knew this would make me a happier person, I didn't care what other people thought.. I was just scared.
Sometimes though you have to overcome your fears which is why I'm posting this introduction to all of you on a zoo forum
. This is another step in my journey to self acceptance and love. I'm still quite shy because I'm new and don't know a single person, but it feels nice being around people where I don't feel like I have to hide anything.
I think my goal in both the forum and chat is I would love to make some friends that I can talk to regularly, maybe later down the track try some new experiences, and one day maybe find a zoo friendly partner :3. Always feel free to hit me up in DMs and chat, sometimes I can be a bit slow but I would love to get to know you.
In terms of attraction I think everyone is beautiful.. my ex was a guy but I think I would love a woman next. It's going to take some time to forgive men (romantically).
Random facts about me:
- I have aphantasia (blindness of the mind)
- Atheist but very spiritual. I like thinking about the mind, what defines us, ego, society, that kinda stuff (I'm just a noob, but I enjoy the subject :3)
- Hobbiest/Maker - cad, 3d printing, laser cutting building and designing shit, I love creating things
- computer nerd - software, another creative outlet, im good at security, infrastructure, run linux, containers, kuberneters, all kinda of techy shit
- gamer
- psychonaut - I take psychedelics, they aren't for everyone but they seem to fit well with my mind, I have had some beautiful experiences that allow me to contemplate things in really fascinating ways
- hedonist
I would like to thank the admins for being patient with me and hearing me out (thanks Oldman). I really do have ADHD, and sometimes I have the best intentions, too much energy, but misunderstand the assignment. If you want to hear about my INTRODUCTION TO BEING A ZOO (NSFW) read version 1, if you want to hear about my INTRODUCTION TO THE ZOOVILLE FORUM (I hope I don't fuck this one up) read on. Task successfully failed.
My first zoo experience ended up becoming multiple experiences with the same animal over a period of a few years. Once he passed on (miss you bud) I decided to not pursue any further zoo experiences. The social view on zoophilia is clear, it's wrong, disgusting, immoral, it fact it's so bad you go to prison for it, so it must be pretty bad! So I resolved that what I had done in the past was clearly wrong and I would never do this again.
Except I could never totally stick to it. I would always catch myself slipping, sometimes as I was loading up the tor browser, sometimes after I had finished. The attraction never left, and sometimes it would be almost overpowering. The longer I tried to the deny it the more I wanted it.
I'm 35 now, this cycle of attraction and denial has been going on for quite some time. I'm recently single, coming out of a very unhappy long-term relationship.
This question dominating my mind lately is what would make me happy. In my choice of partner, in how I see myself, anything. I realised self-acceptance is important junction in the road to happiness. For me part of that would be accepting I was a zoo, and I already knew this would make me a happier person, I didn't care what other people thought.. I was just scared.
Sometimes though you have to overcome your fears which is why I'm posting this introduction to all of you on a zoo forum
. This is another step in my journey to self acceptance and love. I'm still quite shy because I'm new and don't know a single person, but it feels nice being around people where I don't feel like I have to hide anything.I think my goal in both the forum and chat is I would love to make some friends that I can talk to regularly, maybe later down the track try some new experiences, and one day maybe find a zoo friendly partner :3. Always feel free to hit me up in DMs and chat, sometimes I can be a bit slow but I would love to get to know you.
In terms of attraction I think everyone is beautiful.. my ex was a guy but I think I would love a woman next. It's going to take some time to forgive men (romantically).
Random facts about me:
- I have aphantasia (blindness of the mind)
- Atheist but very spiritual. I like thinking about the mind, what defines us, ego, society, that kinda stuff (I'm just a noob, but I enjoy the subject :3)
- Hobbiest/Maker - cad, 3d printing, laser cutting building and designing shit, I love creating things
- computer nerd - software, another creative outlet, im good at security, infrastructure, run linux, containers, kuberneters, all kinda of techy shit
- gamer
- psychonaut - I take psychedelics, they aren't for everyone but they seem to fit well with my mind, I have had some beautiful experiences that allow me to contemplate things in really fascinating ways
- hedonist
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