Gay, straight people, do you have any questions for members of the transgender community??

[AngryGoose]

Exactly what it says... If you feel like the question is insulting PLEASE try to word it in a polite manners and even apologize for it coming across as offensive if you really do just want to know more.... Anyone who gets aggressive and starts being a douche will be abused by me then reported

 

[Estafantom]

Sadly I've came across multiple transphobic people on the site, I'm not sure it's even considered as prohibed to insult people for who they are

 

[pes]

Sadly I've came across multiple transphobic people on the site, I'm not sure it's even considered as prohibed to insult people for who they are

Dumpster fire allows free speech. Other parts of the forum are more strict.
But more importantly if you do not allow yourself to be insulted by a random anonymouy nobody on an illegal public porn forum, your life is going to be much easier.
We should teach people how to handle insults like a person not protect their snowflake status.

 

[Bloit]

I often see a big fuss about tg people being "misgendered" by people using the wrong pronouns...
Why is that such a big freaking deal?

If you see someone you don't know, that you need to interact with whatever reason, you're gonna have to make a best-effort attempt at using the correct pronouns. That's usually gonna rely on looks.

So, if someone looks like a chick/dude, but identifies as a dude/chick, why do I often see that "misgendering" being reacted to with, frankly, outrage and madness...

Why can't people just say, "Hey, I'd prefer if you'd addess me as <whatever>", and be done with it?
Why does that (again, from my experience*) usually have to turn into some kind of cis-shaming villainising nonsense?

TG people* ask for acceptance and understanding, but often seem to forget that that's a 2-way street...

Why does the world need to change their behavior for "them", when they can just accept that sometimes, people will use an incorrect gender?

Don't even get me started about the plethora of in-between pronouns...

*: At least, those that are active on fora like these. Those that walk in rallies. Those that call themselves "TG activists".

Anyone who gets aggressive and starts being a douche will be abused by me then reported

You might as well have posted this in the dumpster fire then.
You're setting the tone here. You've stated criteria for the tone and contents of the questions, and you're threatening to abuse those that do not abide by your criteria.

This is exactly what I don't understand about a lot of TG interactions.

What's with the hostility?

Carrot > Stick!

 

[FloofyNewfie]

I often see a big fuss about tg people being "misgendered" by people using the wrong pronouns...
Why is that such a big freaking deal?

Anecdotal evidence here, but often they do not care if it's an honest mistake. But I'm working with... 3 people I know. We used to have a FtM coworker that I thought was just, for a lack of a better description, a "butch lesbian." Therefore I called them "her/she" quite often when I first started interacting with them. And he didn't really say anything about it, we were also on friendly terms. It was actually another coworker that was like "Hey, [their name] identifies as a male, just so you know." I later asked about it, he confirmed that was the case, and moving forward I addressed him as he, occasionally making a slip up here and there, but correcting myself afterwards. The slip ups still didn't really bother him at all.

Similar to another FtM person I know. I had been calling them her/she for months. Didn't seem bothered by it. It was only after adding them as a friend on social media that I learned that they were FtM trans. Afterwards I started addressing him and a he. Bing, bang, boom, no skin off my back.

3rd person I knew is irrelevant. They were an online friend I made years ago. A MtF person that told me pretty much right off the bat how they identified, and I addressed them as such because, again, no skin off my back.

Not every trans person is going to shout "It's Ma'am!!!!!" at the top of their lungs at a low paid retail employee. Obviously there will be some that care more than others, but from my, again anecdotal, evidence that doesn't appear to always be the case.

 

[Bloit]

Anecdotal evidence here, <... some good examples...>

See, that, I can get behind.
Common sense, patience, mutual understanding.

Maybe it's just (/mostly) online interactions that are, well, shit.

 

[Estafantom]

Dumpster fire allows free speech. Other parts of the forum are more strict.
But more importantly if you do not allow yourself to be insulted by a random anonymouy nobody on an illegal public porn forum, your life is going to be much easier.
We should teach people how to handle insults like a person not protect their snowflake status.

it depends on the case