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For those who have lost partners and started new relationships

T

thisismyblackestblack

Tourist
I want to know what you did/thought/felt that allowed you to move on and find a new partner, I lost my girl about 9 years ago. and I think some part of me has avoided having a deeper than friends relationship with dogs since then, and I’ve been thinking about potentially starting a relationship with a new partner sometime when I am able, and because of that I’ve been thinking about my girl again and it’s been very hard, but I think it’s been more than long enough and that I should finally try to open my heart again.

What are your experiences and thoughts?
 
i lost my princess 2 years ago. she was my partner in everything. she also immensely helped with one of the things i do. i seek the outcast and broken, the dogs noone would want. she had this warm and protective aura about her, you'd feel safe just being around her. she helped a lot whenever someone new arrived, just being there. just being her.

i still do what i do despite it feeling like my other half is not there. i try my best to channel her aura. i've had one new guy i'm trying to fix since she departed and i'd say it's a success.
 
I’m sorry for your loss and that is beautiful and inspiring, I’ve also cared for animals throughout my life. Very early on in my life I’ve worked in wildlife rescue, rehabilitating and releasing wildlife such as squirrels, possums, raccoons, skunks, birds, etc.
And later in life I’ve also volunteered and worked with other people in taking in dogs and cats and while looking for potential adoptive families we’d care for them and work with them to help in integrating them into happier/healthier homes.
It was heartwarming and fulfilling, getting to see to their individual personalities and their little quirks and oddities, but it also made me sad but happy/hopeful knowing that eventually they would leave.

My was with me through most of it and was a constant inspiration and reminder of the depth of love, and joy you can find from the animals around you if you only take the time to see and understand them at their level
 
for me it was a lot about finding my own. as the other things feel like helping my own.

i'm sure you'll find that depth again one day. keep in mind that you are not looking for a replacement, someone to fill in. it can't be done. you are looking for the next chapter.
 
I’m kind of worried about having another relationship and falling into the trap of irrational false hope in maybe acting like or thinking that they could be a kind of replacement, like looking for someone that is similar to my previous partner and kind of trying to re-create the kind of partner, she was through them. If that makes sense?
 
maybe go for someone different then?
you gotta understand every single one is a "one of a kind.". expecting the new one to be the same as the last would be unfair.
 
Someone different? I think my worry about doing that is because it’s been so long since I’ve had a partner that I’ve kind of forgotten what having one is like and she’s been my only long term canine partner so she’s kind of the template through which I am trying to imagine having a new partner, which I know is foolish
 
like, not the same breed if that's a worry.

i'd rather keep this out in the open if you don't mind. you never know who else is reading or just looking for similar things. unless you wish to discuss something more personal of course. this should be a safe place... to some degree at least.
 
With my current lifestyle and living situation, it would definitely have to be a different breed. She was a German shepherd and If I got another one I very likely wouldn’t be able to meet their physical and mental needs.

And we can keep it primarily open here, I am hoping that others will see this and share their own stories

But As far as talking about something more personal, honestly right now I wouldn’t know what to talk about exactly? I’m pretty inexperienced with my zoo side in general
 
About 2 years ago I lost my marefriend, and ever since it feels my life is on pause. It feels like yesterday and like a long time ago that she passed away. I still go to work, still spend my time off work around the horses but things have changed. Hopefully one day I will be (practically and emotionally) able to welcome love in my life again but of course it will never be what we had.
 
AppleDash said:
About 2 years ago I lost my marefriend, and ever since it feels my life is on pause. It feels like yesterday and like a long time ago that she passed away. I still go to work, still spend my time off work around the horses but things have changed. Hopefully one day I will be (practically and emotionally) able to welcome love in my life again but of course it will never be what we had.
Click to expand...
hopefully we both can be able to open our hearts again, and when you said it feels like your life is on pause, I’ve had a few casual human relationships after my girl died and a previous 4 year relationship with my ex and I’m assuming here, but in that relationship I always felt a bit distant, and she said a few times that I had been emotionally distant, and a specific instance was later much later in our relationship that she and I had gotten a female German shepherd that was about 3 months old and I initially had said no to a dog.

but anyway she had said once maybe out of annoyance or something but she said that I loved the dog more than her, but maybe part of me did?
 
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