Dealing with Stigma

nyaanekoneon

nyaanekoneon

Tourist
I'm sure we all feel this to an extent but sometimes it hurts and makes me really angry. If you look on Reddit for example there are several communities created for the purpose of denigrating zoophiles and it is sometimes really hateful and abusive. Sometimes there are violent threats like "they should be beat to death" and stuff like that. These people think they are so moral yet they are the ones spouting violence and spreading hatred. I know the best thing to do is just to ignore these instances. I just feel sad thinking of how many people may have been bullied or shamed or threatened in real life due to these types of attitudes.

So maybe people can share how they cope when faced with any type of stigmas they may have faced online or in real life.
 
try to create ur own little safe bubble where u can get positive energy and a bit safety, maybe search local friends with same interests, even better if u share other stuff too

u need to avoid toxic stuff to keep ur mental health
 
nyaanekoneon said:
So maybe people can share how they cope when faced with any type of stigmas they may have faced online or in real life.
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I do not engage in discussions in those communities. And in real life I have next to none discussions about zoo with anyone not zoo already.
 
That is partly why I joined here so I could feel like I have a bit more of a safety bubble regarding this identity. :)

I don't really see any reason the topic would ever come up, but I feel like if I were to hear someone being ostentatiously hateful in public (this has happened to me with a few other sensitive topics) then I would not be able to contain myself would get into an argument since I would want to stand up for myself and other animal lovers. And that wouldn't be an ideal scenario since then I'd be outing myself to that person or potentially others!
 
nyaanekoneon said:
That is partly why I joined here so I could feel like I have a bit more of a safety bubble regarding this identity. :)

I don't really see any reason the topic would ever come up, but I feel like if I were to hear someone being ostentatiously hateful in public (this has happened to me with a few other sensitive topics) then I would not be able to contain myself would get into an argument since I would want to stand up for myself and other animal lovers. And that wouldn't be an ideal scenario since then I'd be outing myself to that person or potentially others!
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dont stand up, dont tell others(normal people), dont try to be accepted, hide as best as possible for ur own safety - be very carefull even on this board are many anti persons who crave to find more about u and try to get u into trouble
dont worry to ask a moderator or long term member here if u are not feeling good with others or make contact with them to be on a safer side - but u are in the internet u are never 100% safe
 
nyaanekoneon said:
That is partly why I joined here so I could feel like I have a bit more of a safety bubble regarding this identity. :)

I don't really see any reason the topic would ever come up, but I feel like if I were to hear someone being ostentatiously hateful in public (this has happened to me with a few other sensitive topics) then I would not be able to contain myself would get into an argument since I would want to stand up for myself and other animal lovers. And that wouldn't be an ideal scenario since then I'd be outing myself to that person or potentially others!
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Here's how I reply in public to those situations:

Them:"blah, blah, blah, animal fuckers, blah, blah, blah"

Me:"I don't care"

Them:"How can you say that?"

Me:"Easy, like this, I don't care"

Them:"How can you not care?"

Me:"simple, what they do in their own home that doesn't hurt anyone or anything is none of my business, and I don't care."

Them:"but they're abusing the animal."

Me:"I don't know that. If they are, then I care, but I've personally watched my own dog try to insert himself into me and my wife getting freaky. There was no doubt in what he wanted and what he would have done if allowed, and he clearly made up his own mind. So if that's the case, then I don't care. Allowing an animal to make its own choices is not abuse to me. I don't want people telling me I can't smoke a little dope in my own home, so I'm not about to go get in someone else's business unless someone or something is being hurt. Fuck it, I have better things to do and think about"

That usually shuts them up..
 
I think the issue for me lies with the idea of betraying truthfulness which is a very important value of mine. I wouldn't want to have to lie about my feelings if someone becomes suspicious, so I'm thinking that silence or just saying, "that's not a topic I'm comfortable discussing" might be the better option. :unsure:

K_9River_rat said:
Here's how I reply in public to those situations:

Them:"blah, blah, blah, animal fuckers, blah, blah, blah"

Me:"I don't care"

Them:"How can you say that?"

Me:"Easy, like this, I don't care"

Them:"How can you not care?"

Me:"simple, what they do in their own home that doesn't hurt anyone or anything is none of my business, and I don't care."

Them:"but they're abusing the animal."

Me:"I don't know that. If they are, then I care, but I've personally watched my own dog try to insert himself into me and my wife getting freaky. There was no doubt in what he wanted and what he would have done if allowed, and he clearly made up his own mind. So if that's the case, then I don't care. Allowing an animal to make its own choices is not abuse to me. I don't want people telling me I can't smoke a little dope in my own home, so I'm not about to go get in someone else's business unless someone or something is being hurt. Fuck it, I have better things to do and think about"

That usually shuts them up..
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I must say that takes quite a bit of composure and bravery to divulge even that... while the animal having volition is an excellent point, I can see people using the weak logic of "you need vocal consent". It seems that since consent is taught a vocal "yes" from a human partner, people are so simple minded that they can't even fathom the idea of physical signs of consent being valid. Animals don't ask each other for consent, so does that mean that they're all raping each other? 😝
 
nyaanekoneon said:
Sorry, could you elaborate? I'm not sure I understand.
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Lol, no problem! When an animal of either sex is not ok with sex at that point in time, they have zero issues with letting the other know!

A female dog will turn on a male.

My male GSD knew from a puppy that he could tell me "no" about just about anything without fear of me getting upset, so if he wasn't in the mood, he'd let me know by growling.

Many people think a dog growling as intention of violence and it isn't. It can certainly lead there if they are pressed, but a growl in and of itself can be anything from playful, to "no, I don't like that, to "if you don't stop, I'm going to bite you!"

Takes a lot of time and experience with one to learn the very subtle differences in each.
 
K_9River_rat said:
Lol, no problem! When an animal of either sex is not ok with sex at that point in time, they have zero issues with letting the other know!

A female dog will turn on a male.

My male GSD knew from a puppy that he could tell me "no" about just about anything without fear of me getting upset, so if he wasn't in the mood, he'd let me know by growling.

Many people think a dog growling as intention of violence and it isn't. It can certainly lead there if they are pressed, but a growl in and of itself can be anything from playful, to "no, I don't like that, to "if you don't stop, I'm going to bite you!"

Takes a lot of time and experience with one to learn the very subtle differences in each.
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Thank you for the elaboration! I understand exactly what you mean, since I had a cat who would similarly let out 'growl' meows whenever I was doing anything she didn't like. For example, if she wasn't in the mood to cuddle or be picked up. I only turned her on one time by accident but past that if I ever tried to touch her down there, she would definitely let me know and I wouldn't ever continue.
 
nyaanekoneon said:
Thank you for the elaboration! I understand exactly what you mean, since I had a cat who would similarly let out 'growl' meows whenever I was doing anything she didn't like. For example, if she wasn't in the mood to cuddle or be picked up. I only turned her on one time by accident but past that if I ever tried to touch her down there, she would definitely let me know and I wouldn't ever continue.
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No problem! I had a very smart dog teacher that taught me so much more than you'll find in any book!
 
nyaanekoneon said:
By dog teacher do you mean a person who taught you about dogs or was the dog your teacher? :p
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The dog! I got sorta lucky in that regard when life dealt me a shit hand that caused me to have to stay at home.

Side effect of that was being able to be with the dog nearly all the time.

He was an intelligent breed to begin with, and even then, abnormally intelligent.

I found that encouraging his natural curiosity while guiding payed off in spades.

I mimicked his body language and by doing so, learned it, well not really learned it so much as realized that we pretty much already know it. It's pretty much the same body language that kids use before and while learning to talk.

Talking to him while using body language led him to know English pretty well.

I never "trained" him.. I taught him.. I allowed him to say "no" in any situation that didn't concern his safety.

I can't be sure, but I think allowing him to take lead and that level of respect and equality if you will actually made for a very interesting relationship to say the least!
 
nyaanekoneon said:
I'm sure we all feel this to an extent but sometimes it hurts and makes me really angry. If you look on Reddit for example there are several communities created for the purpose of denigrating zoophiles and it is sometimes really hateful and abusive. Sometimes there are violent threats like "they should be beat to death" and stuff like that. These people think they are so moral yet they are the ones spouting violence and spreading hatred. I know the best thing to do is just to ignore these instances. I just feel sad thinking of how many people may have been bullied or shamed or threatened in real life due to these types of attitudes.

So maybe people can share how they cope when faced with any type of stigmas they may have faced online or in real life.
Click to expand...
Just don't live up to their expectations or needs, don't throw fuel to the fire, way it out, ignore them, be better, keep your head low and be yourself no matter what others think or say, don't comment online, you just stirring things up if you reply. Let it be. We as zoos will never be accepted. If they would've known why we are who we are but in this society they always try to crush us completely. I don't get involved in those debates on any online platform or discuss my stuff to anyone, not even with family or friends.
 
K_9River_rat said:
The dog! I got sorta lucky in that regard when life dealt me a shit hand that caused me to have to stay at home.

Side effect of that was being able to be with the dog nearly all the time.

He was an intelligent breed to begin with, and even then, abnormally intelligent.

I found that encouraging his natural curiosity while guiding payed off in spades.

I mimicked his body language and by doing so, learned it, well not really learned it so much as realized that we pretty much already know it. It's pretty much the same body language that kids use before and while learning to talk.

Talking to him while using body language led him to know English pretty well.

I never "trained" him.. I taught him.. I allowed him to say "no" in any situation that didn't concern his safety.

I can't be sure, but I think allowing him to take lead and that level of respect and equality if you will actually made for a very interesting relationship to say the least!
Click to expand...
I also found that the body language was very easy to work with, and I myself felt like a fellow dog at some points. :gsd_laughing:
 
nyaanekoneon said:
I also found that the body language was very easy to work with, and I myself felt like a fellow dog at some points. :gsd_laughing:
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Get down on the floor and play with them like they do. Bite them (not hard, just hard enough to maybe get a whine or yelp), yelp if they bite you too hard.

It's an amazing bonding experience! Not to mention that at least mine really changed when I started trying harder to experience their world.
 
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