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Dating sucks...

Weckles

Weckles

Tourist
Many years ago I was married. It was all I knew and it was unhealthy. We split, I dated a little bit and met someone I feel in deep love with. We split and I never really got over him. It's been a few years now.

I've tried dating. I did catch feelings for someone at one point, which...turned into a whole mess of lies and deception. Apparently he had a family and a working relationship with an ex-wife where he still lived as a 'divorced family' but slept together and did all the usual things a married couple did. All while he had me fawning over him, 15 years younger than him and thinking he had so much potential as a partner. He broke up with me and within 3 days I ran into him with that ex-wife at a pool thing. I was so embarrassed and hurt. Eventually I got over it. But we'd occasionally see each other in private for him to cheat on that oh-so-wonderful relationship he'd created with the ex-wife who paid his bills. I eventually cut it off, it was not beneficial to me in any form.

This leads me to reconnecting with that person who I call the love of my life, and we just had a healthy friendship to an extent.

I then caught interest in someone new locally but...while I thought he was a quiet, respectful, didn't talk too much man. I guess I was wrong and he didn't have the interest I did. I tried to chase a little but eventually backed off and let him be and he'd always reach out. I thought there was interest and he texted me saying he was not in a position to involve another person in his life right now. Fine...I get it. That happened relatively recently.

Not an hour ago my ex/love of my life left my house. I don't care how much I try to date, that man has my heart and may just have it until the day I die. I invited him over for dinner and movies. He helped me hang my TV up on the wall, we did laundry together, watched a few movies and I cooked. Of course things happened between us and...while I haven't really messed around with many people since we split - the sex with that man is intoxicating for me.

Honestly, in a perfect world - I hope he sees I've changed a lot. I'm a better person and I genuinely would do anything for him. He's my Master. My rock. My best friend and knows all my desires and secrets. He's that one person that I can tell absolutely anything to and never feel ashamed. He's a fellow zoo with other dark interest and he might actually see this post but I don't know if he will. All I can do is hope things go the way I want them to and I'm an expert in holding onto hope and hurting my own feelings.

Dating sucks, especially when you feel like you found the perfect person for you and let them get away. If I ever get the chance I will never make the same mistake again.
 
Dating indeed sucks, especially when you are not someone they want but someone they may need around. I'm a very handy person, and I'm not backing down from what I've got to do, people see me like that "high roller" sort of being, yet my dating life sucks.
It's hard to find someone in a world that has high standards and is as dissociated as it is. People give less chances to others because they know there are odds to get hurt, and they give those chances to those which are always more convincing, while I never did try to convince anyone of anything whatsoever
 
There are many obstacles in the way of perfect relationship. Its fucked up that people often give up on the road, and just dont care about people around them.
I've had a few breakups so far, and thankfully, most of them were peaceful. It did hurt, and I still wish they were back. But I am happy, that the people I love are happy. On one hand, they are happy with someone else, but on the other, they are really happy ^^

Thing that helped me most, was the thought, that "If they are gone from your life, you did not matter enough" And therefore, its better if they are gone. Even if you had feelings for them. Their feelings for you were not on your level.
You can continue, and find people that will actually appreciate and respect you. And keep you in their life for as long as they can :gsd_love:
 
Sorry to hear about the problems you're having. I think a lot of people can relate to this, I definitely can. I seem to have the misfortunate of finding great potential partners online and often very far away from where I live xD

I was actually so into one guy I met online that we started a long distance relationship while saving up to either move closer together or at least visit. With a lot of bumps on the road, like covid, making it hard to save up enough money, after a few years of online dating he went quiet for a few weeks, then a few months. It turned out he had found someone else (who was also long distance but closer) and didn't even seem to think that it was a problem for me. In short, people can suck a lot, and when you think you're on the same page as someone you might not even be on the same planet. And then you gotta go through the whole thing of finding someone else and the weeks or months it takes getting to really know someone to just end up in the same spot. So yes dating really sucks lmao.

But there's a silver lining. Dating sucks so much that it made it super clear to me how amazing the zoo lifestyle is. And it made me realize that a dog really is the perfect partner, for me at least. I hope you find what you're looking for.
 
Weckles said:
Many years ago I was married. It was all I knew and it was unhealthy. We split, I dated a little bit and met someone I feel in deep love with. We split and I never really got over him. It's been a few years now.

I've tried dating. I did catch feelings for someone at one point, which...turned into a whole mess of lies and deception. Apparently he had a family and a working relationship with an ex-wife where he still lived as a 'divorced family' but slept together and did all the usual things a married couple did. All while he had me fawning over him, 15 years younger than him and thinking he had so much potential as a partner. He broke up with me and within 3 days I ran into him with that ex-wife at a pool thing. I was so embarrassed and hurt. Eventually I got over it. But we'd occasionally see each other in private for him to cheat on that oh-so-wonderful relationship he'd created with the ex-wife who paid his bills. I eventually cut it off, it was not beneficial to me in any form.

This leads me to reconnecting with that person who I call the love of my life, and we just had a healthy friendship to an extent.

I then caught interest in someone new locally but...while I thought he was a quiet, respectful, didn't talk too much man. I guess I was wrong and he didn't have the interest I did. I tried to chase a little but eventually backed off and let him be and he'd always reach out. I thought there was interest and he texted me saying he was not in a position to involve another person in his life right now. Fine...I get it. That happened relatively recently.

Not an hour ago my ex/love of my life left my house. I don't care how much I try to date, that man has my heart and may just have it until the day I die. I invited him over for dinner and movies. He helped me hang my TV up on the wall, we did laundry together, watched a few movies and I cooked. Of course things happened between us and...while I haven't really messed around with many people since we split - the sex with that man is intoxicating for me.

Honestly, in a perfect world - I hope he sees I've changed a lot. I'm a better person and I genuinely would do anything for him. He's my Master. My rock. My best friend and knows all my desires and secrets. He's that one person that I can tell absolutely anything to and never feel ashamed. He's a fellow zoo with other dark interest and he might actually see this post but I don't know if he will. All I can do is hope things go the way I want them to and I'm an expert in holding onto hope and hurting my own feelings.

Dating sucks, especially when you feel like you found the perfect person for you and let them get away. If I ever get the chance I will never make the same mistake again.
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not sure there is a good answer, after many years married I am reluctant to put myself in that position again.
 
Weckles said:
Many years ago I was married. It was all I knew and it was unhealthy. We split, I dated a little bit and met someone I feel in deep love with. We split and I never really got over him. It's been a few years now.

I've tried dating. I did catch feelings for someone at one point, which...turned into a whole mess of lies and deception. Apparently he had a family and a working relationship with an ex-wife where he still lived as a 'divorced family' but slept together and did all the usual things a married couple did. All while he had me fawning over him, 15 years younger than him and thinking he had so much potential as a partner. He broke up with me and within 3 days I ran into him with that ex-wife at a pool thing. I was so embarrassed and hurt. Eventually I got over it. But we'd occasionally see each other in private for him to cheat on that oh-so-wonderful relationship he'd created with the ex-wife who paid his bills. I eventually cut it off, it was not beneficial to me in any form.

This leads me to reconnecting with that person who I call the love of my life, and we just had a healthy friendship to an extent.

I then caught interest in someone new locally but...while I thought he was a quiet, respectful, didn't talk too much man. I guess I was wrong and he didn't have the interest I did. I tried to chase a little but eventually backed off and let him be and he'd always reach out. I thought there was interest and he texted me saying he was not in a position to involve another person in his life right now. Fine...I get it. That happened relatively recently.

Not an hour ago my ex/love of my life left my house. I don't care how much I try to date, that man has my heart and may just have it until the day I die. I invited him over for dinner and movies. He helped me hang my TV up on the wall, we did laundry together, watched a few movies and I cooked. Of course things happened between us and...while I haven't really messed around with many people since we split - the sex with that man is intoxicating for me.

Honestly, in a perfect world - I hope he sees I've changed a lot. I'm a better person and I genuinely would do anything for him. He's my Master. My rock. My best friend and knows all my desires and secrets. He's that one person that I can tell absolutely anything to and never feel ashamed. He's a fellow zoo with other dark interest and he might actually see this post but I don't know if he will. All I can do is hope things go the way I want them to and I'm an expert in holding onto hope and hurting my own feelings.

Dating sucks, especially when you feel like you found the perfect person for you and let them get away. If I ever get the chance I will never make the same mistake again.
Click to expand...
Yeah dating sucks, I've been in the same situation, you try so hard to make things right and work out but the other person feels like it's just using U.
 
It really does I think many are just consigned too being alone which is sadenning, I don't really like online dating just doesn't sit right with me.
 
Weckles said:
Many years ago I was married. It was all I knew and it was unhealthy. We split, I dated a little bit and met someone I feel in deep love with. We split and I never really got over him. It's been a few years now.

I've tried dating. I did catch feelings for someone at one point, which...turned into a whole mess of lies and deception. Apparently he had a family and a working relationship with an ex-wife where he still lived as a 'divorced family' but slept together and did all the usual things a married couple did. All while he had me fawning over him, 15 years younger than him and thinking he had so much potential as a partner. He broke up with me and within 3 days I ran into him with that ex-wife at a pool thing. I was so embarrassed and hurt. Eventually I got over it. But we'd occasionally see each other in private for him to cheat on that oh-so-wonderful relationship he'd created with the ex-wife who paid his bills. I eventually cut it off, it was not beneficial to me in any form.

This leads me to reconnecting with that person who I call the love of my life, and we just had a healthy friendship to an extent.

I then caught interest in someone new locally but...while I thought he was a quiet, respectful, didn't talk too much man. I guess I was wrong and he didn't have the interest I did. I tried to chase a little but eventually backed off and let him be and he'd always reach out. I thought there was interest and he texted me saying he was not in a position to involve another person in his life right now. Fine...I get it. That happened relatively recently.

Not an hour ago my ex/love of my life left my house. I don't care how much I try to date, that man has my heart and may just have it until the day I die. I invited him over for dinner and movies. He helped me hang my TV up on the wall, we did laundry together, watched a few movies and I cooked. Of course things happened between us and...while I haven't really messed around with many people since we split - the sex with that man is intoxicating for me.

Honestly, in a perfect world - I hope he sees I've changed a lot. I'm a better person and I genuinely would do anything for him. He's my Master. My rock. My best friend and knows all my desires and secrets. He's that one person that I can tell absolutely anything to and never feel ashamed. He's a fellow zoo with other dark interest and he might actually see this post but I don't know if he will. All I can do is hope things go the way I want them to and I'm an expert in holding onto hope and hurting my own feelings.

Dating sucks, especially when you feel like you found the perfect person for you and let them get away. If I ever get the chance I will never make the same mistake again.
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Hope it works out between the two of you
 
Sadly, I know exactly what you're talking about AND how you feel. Just gotta accept certain things and keep going
 
Last relationship lasted 6 years and ended 6 years ago. Still really feel that loneliness every now and then
 
GensingerZed said:
It really does I think many are just consigned too being alone which is sadenning, I don't really like online dating just doesn't sit right with me.
Click to expand...
I'm 28 and I've been alone the entire time I've been old enough to "date" and it's really starting to affect me.

It's not for a lack of trying either, but it seems like no one is interested in me. The only people that are are located too far away considering I don't have a vehicle.

Also doesn't help I can't bring them to my house since I live with my mom and two younger siblings, helping with bills and food and such.

Being touch starved fucking sucks.
 
DuskLuck said:
I'm 28 and I've been alone the entire time I've been old enough to "date" and it's really starting to affect me.

It's not for a lack of trying either, but it seems like no one is interested in me. The only people that are are located too far away considering I don't have a vehicle.

Also doesn't help I can't bring them to my house since I live with my mom and two younger siblings, helping with bills and food and such.

Being touch starved fucking sucks.
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Go get a massage. Rubmaps.ch
 
DuskLuck said:
I'm 28 and I've been alone the entire time I've been old enough to "date" and it's really starting to affect me.

It's not for a lack of trying either, but it seems like no one is interested in me. The only people that are are located too far away considering I don't have a vehicle.

Also doesn't help I can't bring them to my house since I live with my mom and two younger siblings, helping with bills and food and such.

Being touch starved fucking sucks.
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I know the feeling its pretty much the same for me on the romantic front.

Where too begin eh? So many factors.

Hopefully things get better it's all we have at this point.
 
Sometimes being alone is just better. I loved someone deeply... once. Now I don't know that felling. Everything is kinda grey but maybe I just can't bond with people. Or maybe therapy is needed :D
 
I cant date because i cant feel atracted to people i dont know, and only people i know are friends that i am not atracted to, so i am in this weird paradoxical limbo right now, i've been in love but it did not go well. What makes it funnier os that through the years i have become a catch, and i even have some game, i could have a partner if i wanted to and its not just incel cope, its the oposite, i dont want to because i dont want to meet new people, and the people i know i domt wanna romance.
 
Idk I did better each time I fell for someone. You live and grow each time. Or atleast I did. There's not just one person out there for everyone, there's several. But at the same time they are all evolving and on thier own journey as well.

Love is a wonderful thing. have had 3 happily ever afters. Each time I said this is the one. But sometimes, you just don't work out. I bond very well with others. Just keep your chin up and keep being the best you . Eventually you bump into your match and it's 5 , 10, or 50 years of perfect.
 
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Nah, i have given up on dating.

Whats the point investing all this energy in something that ends in nothing? Almost anything i could have in a relationship i also can have in a friendship. And the things i cant have i dont even whant, so?
 
Luckily I have more interest in dogs and I don't have to go on this trip with online deting and everything in between.
 
Carrying on my 'dating experience' and adding an update.

I went on a date with someone from a dating app last week. We'd had good conversation; similar interest etc. Teacher for a local school oddly enough which was a different career I'd never go for in a typical person of choice but he was attractive, and again...had similar interest.

We'd started off talking and I made sure to clarify what he was seeking, a relationship - perfect, I'll start talking to him and see what happens.

Week and a half goes by, we're texting daily and we set up a date to actually meet up.

Things happen, date gets pushed back but we can still see each other after his event - I tell him since I was gonna go do a hobby-related thing at X-Place and he's welcome to come by after and we could get a few drinks and just...actually meet up.

He gets along with myself and the part of my friend group who was there really great. We're all drinking, cutting up together and he just meshed right in with everyone. In the back of my mind, I'm like...wow, okay this could be something.

End of the night comes around and he gives me a kiss in the parking lot and his phone rings, he doesn't touch it but I can hear it going off in his pocket. Rings again, he reaches in and I can faintly see GF 💗 on his screen...

Wonderful. /sarcasm

Fuck this shit guys.
 
I mean, there is a possibility that he uses weird phrases for people in his phone. I, for example, use Justin Timberlake for a friend. Or one coworker, I always answer the phone with "hey honey" just for the lolz.

But occams razor tells us, that the easiest explanation Usualy is the explanation or something like that, so yea, he probably has a girlfriend, and dates multible "side girls". Almost for sure, he is a piece of shit.
 
Im sorry for your experiences...i wish you lots of happiness moving forward...yes dating can suck...but i believe that there is good people out there...and theres someone for everyone. Dont let a few bad apples spoil the bunch 💜 hope you find a good partner in future
 
Unfortunately the guys you have to watch out for are more persistent, they seem to always be on the prowl. The good ones are willing to take their time aren't as actively seeking. That makes them harder to find. Good guys are out there.

I wouldn't say dating sucks, but it sometimes seems it can be more trouble than it's worth. Then you get lucky and find someone good when you're not looking.
 
Shemon said:
The small amount of dating I've done have been very successful, so maybe dating don't suck for everyone.
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Of course it doesn't bite for everyone. Buuuuut for some of us it does. Shyness, awkwardness, and coming across as creepy despite being honest and open. I would have been a great househusband for some gal, but... alas
 
Weckles said:
Many years ago I was married. It was all I knew and it was unhealthy. We split, I dated a little bit and met someone I feel in deep love with. We split and I never really got over him. It's been a few years now.

I've tried dating. I did catch feelings for someone at one point, which...turned into a whole mess of lies and deception. Apparently he had a family and a working relationship with an ex-wife where he still lived as a 'divorced family' but slept together and did all the usual things a married couple did. All while he had me fawning over him, 15 years younger than him and thinking he had so much potential as a partner. He broke up with me and within 3 days I ran into him with that ex-wife at a pool thing. I was so embarrassed and hurt. Eventually I got over it. But we'd occasionally see each other in private for him to cheat on that oh-so-wonderful relationship he'd created with the ex-wife who paid his bills. I eventually cut it off, it was not beneficial to me in any form.

This leads me to reconnecting with that person who I call the love of my life, and we just had a healthy friendship to an extent.

I then caught interest in someone new locally but...while I thought he was a quiet, respectful, didn't talk too much man. I guess I was wrong and he didn't have the interest I did. I tried to chase a little but eventually backed off and let him be and he'd always reach out. I thought there was interest and he texted me saying he was not in a position to involve another person in his life right now. Fine...I get it. That happened relatively recently.

Not an hour ago my ex/love of my life left my house. I don't care how much I try to date, that man has my heart and may just have it until the day I die. I invited him over for dinner and movies. He helped me hang my TV up on the wall, we did laundry together, watched a few movies and I cooked. Of course things happened between us and...while I haven't really messed around with many people since we split - the sex with that man is intoxicating for me.

Honestly, in a perfect world - I hope he sees I've changed a lot. I'm a better person and I genuinely would do anything for him. He's my Master. My rock. My best friend and knows all my desires and secrets. He's that one person that I can tell absolutely anything to and never feel ashamed. He's a fellow zoo with other dark interest and he might actually see this post but I don't know if he will. All I can do is hope things go the way I want them to and I'm an expert in holding onto hope and hurting my own feelings.

Dating sucks, especially when you feel like you found the perfect person for you and let them get away. If I ever get the chance I will never make the same mistake again.
Click to expand...


Hi there!

I know exactly what you are talking about. When i was younger I met this girl who I fell in love with on the spot. She had also fell for me but i didnt know this at the time. Then by best friend asked me if i liked her because he wanted to ask her out. I knew the odds were that she probably had a thing for him so like a coward I told him no I didnt have feeling for her. So they started dating for about a year until they broke up. Now something to mention was this friend of mine and this girl both came from religious house holds. So they never slept together or kissed. After they broke up I started talking to this girl every day. Until we realized we like each other. Then things got real for us. We started dating. I know this was kind of shitty of me to do to my buddy, but we are still friends today and he has never cared. I dated her for four years. We were in high school and college at this time too. Eventually we broke up and she did some things to me that hurt and broke me. Over the 6 months that we werent dating she reached out only with new was to hurt me. It was phycological warfare. This broke me as a person. Ive never been able to hold a meaningful relationship since. Not with a man or woman. I fear at this point I wont date ever again. I can feel deep inside that I still love her somehow. Worst of all, after a year or two break with no contact, she eventually reached out to apologize. At first i ignored her. Year after year she would reach out and I would be strong and ignore her. However, recently I heard her out and let her apologize in hopes of being able to move on. But the way she spoke and acted makes me believe shes actually still in love with me still and I dont know how i feel about that information.

People just have a way of breaking eachother. Dating just sucks right now and it makes moving on so much harder. Having found the person I believed was my "one", it making the idea of loving someone else that much more scarier. If you ever just need someone to chat with, feel free to reach out!
 
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