Weckles
Zooville Settler
Many years ago I was married. It was all I knew and it was unhealthy. We split, I dated a little bit and met someone I feel in deep love with. We split and I never really got over him. It's been a few years now.
I've tried dating. I did catch feelings for someone at one point, which...turned into a whole mess of lies and deception. Apparently he had a family and a working relationship with an ex-wife where he still lived as a 'divorced family' but slept together and did all the usual things a married couple did. All while he had me fawning over him, 15 years younger than him and thinking he had so much potential as a partner. He broke up with me and within 3 days I ran into him with that ex-wife at a pool thing. I was so embarrassed and hurt. Eventually I got over it. But we'd occasionally see each other in private for him to cheat on that oh-so-wonderful relationship he'd created with the ex-wife who paid his bills. I eventually cut it off, it was not beneficial to me in any form.
This leads me to reconnecting with that person who I call the love of my life, and we just had a healthy friendship to an extent.
I then caught interest in someone new locally but...while I thought he was a quiet, respectful, didn't talk too much man. I guess I was wrong and he didn't have the interest I did. I tried to chase a little but eventually backed off and let him be and he'd always reach out. I thought there was interest and he texted me saying he was not in a position to involve another person in his life right now. Fine...I get it. That happened relatively recently.
Not an hour ago my ex/love of my life left my house. I don't care how much I try to date, that man has my heart and may just have it until the day I die. I invited him over for dinner and movies. He helped me hang my TV up on the wall, we did laundry together, watched a few movies and I cooked. Of course things happened between us and...while I haven't really messed around with many people since we split - the sex with that man is intoxicating for me.
Honestly, in a perfect world - I hope he sees I've changed a lot. I'm a better person and I genuinely would do anything for him. He's my Master. My rock. My best friend and knows all my desires and secrets. He's that one person that I can tell absolutely anything to and never feel ashamed. He's a fellow zoo with other dark interest and he might actually see this post but I don't know if he will. All I can do is hope things go the way I want them to and I'm an expert in holding onto hope and hurting my own feelings.
Dating sucks, especially when you feel like you found the perfect person for you and let them get away. If I ever get the chance I will never make the same mistake again.
I've tried dating. I did catch feelings for someone at one point, which...turned into a whole mess of lies and deception. Apparently he had a family and a working relationship with an ex-wife where he still lived as a 'divorced family' but slept together and did all the usual things a married couple did. All while he had me fawning over him, 15 years younger than him and thinking he had so much potential as a partner. He broke up with me and within 3 days I ran into him with that ex-wife at a pool thing. I was so embarrassed and hurt. Eventually I got over it. But we'd occasionally see each other in private for him to cheat on that oh-so-wonderful relationship he'd created with the ex-wife who paid his bills. I eventually cut it off, it was not beneficial to me in any form.
This leads me to reconnecting with that person who I call the love of my life, and we just had a healthy friendship to an extent.
I then caught interest in someone new locally but...while I thought he was a quiet, respectful, didn't talk too much man. I guess I was wrong and he didn't have the interest I did. I tried to chase a little but eventually backed off and let him be and he'd always reach out. I thought there was interest and he texted me saying he was not in a position to involve another person in his life right now. Fine...I get it. That happened relatively recently.
Not an hour ago my ex/love of my life left my house. I don't care how much I try to date, that man has my heart and may just have it until the day I die. I invited him over for dinner and movies. He helped me hang my TV up on the wall, we did laundry together, watched a few movies and I cooked. Of course things happened between us and...while I haven't really messed around with many people since we split - the sex with that man is intoxicating for me.
Honestly, in a perfect world - I hope he sees I've changed a lot. I'm a better person and I genuinely would do anything for him. He's my Master. My rock. My best friend and knows all my desires and secrets. He's that one person that I can tell absolutely anything to and never feel ashamed. He's a fellow zoo with other dark interest and he might actually see this post but I don't know if he will. All I can do is hope things go the way I want them to and I'm an expert in holding onto hope and hurting my own feelings.
Dating sucks, especially when you feel like you found the perfect person for you and let them get away. If I ever get the chance I will never make the same mistake again.
