Why is coming out so important to you?

Hello folks,
i have read some threads about coming out to friends and family about your zoophile desires.
I don't understand why it is so important to you and want to know why you feel the need to come out.
For me, most things regarding sex are private affairs between me and my sexual partners.
Maybe we can find some points to help us for keeping quiet, because it's potentially very dangerous to come out.

Why is coming out to friends and family so important for you, despite all the potential negative outcomes?
 
I can't hide that I have something to hide. As much as I would like to split my life in two, it's just impossible and sometimes I have to say that I can't say something. Not a problem if we don't interact very often but otherwise it can get really irritating. I'm an introvert and tend to have little but very good friends. After a few years, if the risk is low I just come out to them. Not to all of them, one has shown that he potentially might not understand and, despite being great friends for 8 years, he doesn't know. Neither does anyone from my family.
 
I have commented on other similar problems threads. 20 or so years ago I came out to family and friends. I had found others like me on the internet....and felt a sense of community...and I had just realized I had fallen in love with my mare. All that was hard to hold in. My wife knew I was gay when we married....we were not intimate at that point...so I came out to her.....and later to some close friends. I felt better at the time, but then I found out I could not talk to them about it...I was like anyone who was crazy in love....except it was with a horse....I could not grasp why people did not understand...I wanted them to look at us like any other couple. That certainly was not the case. My wife and I separated....we got back together a year later....
And were living as close friends...but my mare died and I went into depression.
It took years to get back to normal. Now I keep it private....I was not really rejected...but nobody understood either. It was like don’t ask don’t tell policy....
I found out that acceptance does not mean you can be open about it.
So now I look at it as not being deceitful but just being private. Took a long time to get to this point.
 
Coming out is important for all healthy societies if all people are to live free. Seeing others get the support validation and freedoms of being themselves while you can't can be immensely painful, especially now more than ever with such a strong wave of social justice going on - a wave of new civil rights that chose to leave us by the wayside.
 
I have no plans to "come out" because...you know. It's taboo, and also a felony. I wish I could though, just because hiding it is a pain. I'm constantly having to explain why I'm single and deal with people trying to hook me up with their friends. It's tiring.
 
Because everyone needs validation. I agree that what happens beneath the sheets should stay there but this isn’t about sex so much as it is about love.
I’m battling anger over my lack of success in finding a human partner and I think that if my zoophilia had been validated from an earlier age, perhaps I could have an easier time accepting that the zoo exclusive life appears to have chosen me.
I’ve come out to 6 people now I believe and I did it in a non-incriminating, generalized sort of way. No one rejected me for it though some took more explanation. It felt good over all but I do wish it was more than that, that others could see dogs as legitimate partners as I do… waiting on the world to change 🤷🏻‍♂️
 
Because everyone needs validation. I agree that what happens beneath the sheets should stay there but this isn’t about sex so much as it is about love.
I’m battling anger over my lack of success in finding a human partner and I think that if my zoophilia had been validated from an earlier age, perhaps I could have an easier time accepting that the zoo exclusive life appears to have chosen me.
I’ve come out to 6 people now I believe and I did it in a non-incriminating, generalized sort of way. No one rejected me for it though some took more explanation. It felt good over all but I do wish it was more than that, that others could see dogs as legitimate partners as I do… waiting on the world to change 🤷🏻‍♂️


I find this a very good explanation of the why. Thanks
 
I'm not sure, but doing so might make you more comfortable around the one being told, you don't have to hide your "true" self. You want someone to know, someone to trust, so you can talk about it. If they share the interest you could have a closer friendship or relationship.

It could also go the wrong way and they won't talk to you anymore because they don't understand or don't want to know more about it.

There's no true benefit of telling others, in reality the risks outweigh the benefits by a bunch. So even if you feel like it's a good idea right now, you might really regret it later.

As long as you keep your zoo life to yourself you'll be fine, that's a boring answer but you choose animals as lovers and friends for a reason, don't loose your love and kindness for them for something that does not benefit both of you.
 
I came out to my friends because I want to share with them the things that have such a big impact on my live, my plans, my feelings. Friends are supposed to be part of my life, I want them to be able to understand me, understand the life choices I face, and give earnest advice.

Of course I could talk to other Zoos to get an outside perspective, and I could fill in more details without scaring them away. But especially online it takes looong time to build trust and open up about the detailed aspects of your life, because with those you could be identified and harmed. With my friends, I was already past that stage. They have known me for years, and with the coming out they now know the last 10% about me, too.

P.S.
If they share the interest you could have a closer friendship or relationship.
They don't, but even then I feel that we have become closer over it.
 
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I think there may be people behind the scenes who are promoting "Coming out" for a social movement agenda. They do not care about our well-being, this is about the people around us. It is easy for someone to judge others, but it is hard to pass condemnation on people when it is a friend or family member. If these people that we are connected to have good reputations in their communities then associates of theirs may change their opinions about the issue of bestiality seeing how they are acquainted with respectable members of society who have a friend or family member who is a Zoo. This is about pushing a social acceptance movement, which would lead to a Zoo civil rights movement down the road which means money for lawyers.

Meanwhile, the people who do come out as Zoo are probably going to get thrown under the bus while this "normalization" process takes place. Keep in mind, that at one time, homosexuals had to worry about getting institutionalized for being gay, BUT WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GOING TO PRISON! Then we have to worry about being socially ostracized after doing time. And unlike the gay community, we do not have a social network other than online. There are no back-ally Zoo nightclubs like the homosexuals had back in the 1970s to the present day.

Nothing good can come of coming out as a Zoo to anyone except your significant other. Our situation is one that is very different in circumstances than the ones that the gays went through. What worked for them will not work for us. No, our best route is to maintain a strong social media presence and let people get used to us that way. Listening to Ellen Degeneres will get us locked up.
 
I agree...since I came out 20 years ago the environment changed .....because of the internet...we somehow became “a growing problem” That really hurts me the most....now with the bad laws we are not only different but instant criminals. Being a zoo is not a social issue ......they have made it a criminal one. Years ago I could come out to a friend....and was worried about them not liking me any more because of religious issues....or seeing me as dirty... but now....we have to fear all of that and the incredible legal problem...that was not there in a lot of states until recently. Before it became a felony (incredible isn’t it)...this was something that young boys all did on the farm...no big deal....just part of growing up...most moved on but some of us did not. It just is an orientation to us....still no big deal.....but very sadly they made it a huge issue til be “dealt with”. I used to donate to several dog and horse rescue places including the aspca.....but not any more.... these are the ones who pushed to get the laws changed.....we are the very people who care about animals the most and are now thought as criminals, and part of the problem.
Everything seems to be going backwards for us. This issue is very heavy on my head nowadays when I think about it. That is what causes me depression. I have friends I would want to tell but will not. I realize that with me almost 70....I just want to live the rest of my life as quietly as I can. I know I felt differently when I was younger....I was crazy in love with my mare. I have gone the route of trying to be out there and yes found understanding... but also found rejection too. I moved to a state where being a zoo was legal and I felt safe...then one by one states changed around me.. then my state went to a felony. That is when I realized It has to be private.
 
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Right, the only people who know about are different zoos and I don’t seek to change that personally, but I’ll tell you why sometimes late at night some of us think about telling family and friends enough to go ask zooville for validation and advice:

Hiding shit is hard. Keeping secrets is hard. Sometimes you wish those people you’re incredibly close to knew you the way you actually are, not the normie approved alter ego you‘ve had to conjure up because of societal standards.

The same reasons why the LGBTQ community likes to come out, except of course when they do it they’re brave and stunning, and when we do it we know we will be the next one cancelled on social media.
 
Coming out should be easy after I've done it a few times. First it was being gay... that was 30 years ago. Then I went through it again 14 years ago when I came out as kinky, in the BDSM community. But this was to family and friends. There are places I am careful not to discuss it in depth, such as work.

With Zoo, I have come out to some friends but that's it so far. It's taboo, yes. It's illegal, yes -- perhaps even moreso than many parts of BDSM I enjoy. I do find myself comparing my feelings on the subject to how I felt in the years before coming out as gay. Yes, the stigma aspect is there... but my feelings about it are different. I know it divides who I am, and perhaps I've got so much other crazy going on in my life that it distracts me.

But also I recognize that being gay, married, with a kid, in an open relationship where he only shares a passing interest in king, and I get that need met elsewhere... I already have some partitions in my life that keep things working. Do I wish I felt more open about it? Yes, but that would come with actual risks. Have I come out to close friends? Yes, and sometimes it's because our shared kink suggests it'd be more acceptable -- and it has proven to be true more often than not. But there have been times I've come out to non-kinksters because what I was trying to share just didn't make sense any other way. And it didn't fundamentally change the relationship. They already understand that there are lots of circles on my Venn diagram and that they don't need to have a tentacle into all of them. It's more about knowing me than it is about their shared interest or desire.

There are definitely some who I wouldn't share this with... mostly because of their relationship with animals. I share those feelings, but this would step over a boundary that would be really difficult for them to understand. LIke in a way that platontic visits with thier pets would probably be off the table. And that would injure me. So in those situations, I decide not to go there.

I have found some situations where I can dip my toe into the subject when a common friend or aquaintence edges toward the subject. And then I wait to see if they nibble and engage. Sometimes yes, but more often no. So with them I take my time and perhaps it won't happen. We shall see.

I have posted a video of me blowing a dog dildo in various places. I even label it "feeling a bit knotty." Like gay references, most people just don't notice. But for the ones that do, it's like a clarion call... and I've made some really cool contacts that way. Not once have I had someone cry "eww, gross!" Perhaps it helps that it's a dildo, but you don't have to look too closely to recognize the shape isn't human... the tip, the knot. But those who don't want to see just don't. And that is a lesson I learned from coming out in the past. If it's not too literal, then they can choose to ignore and move on... and for the rest, woo hoo!

So for now this is where I'm at with the subject of coming out zoo. I apologize for rambling, but just letting it flow out as the thoughts come. Thanks!
 
Right, the only people who know about are different zoos and I don’t seek to change that personally, but I’ll tell you why sometimes late at night some of us think about telling family and friends enough to go ask zooville for validation and advice:

Hiding shit is hard. Keeping secrets is hard. Sometimes you wish those people you’re incredibly close to knew you the way you actually are, not the normie approved alter ego you‘ve had to conjure up because of societal standards.

The same reasons why the LGBTQ community likes to come out, except of course when they do it they’re brave and stunning, and when we do it we know we will be the next one cancelled on social media.

No one could have put it more succinctly or perfectly than this.
 
Right, the only people who know about are different zoos and I don’t seek to change that personally, but I’ll tell you why sometimes late at night some of us think about telling family and friends enough to go ask zooville for validation and advice:

Hiding shit is hard. Keeping secrets is hard. Sometimes you wish those people you’re incredibly close to knew you the way you actually are, not the normie approved alter ego you‘ve had to conjure up because of societal standards.

The same reasons why the LGBTQ community likes to come out, except of course when they do it they’re brave and stunning, and when we do it we know we will be the next one cancelled on social media.
Look, I went through the phase of wanting to tell others after the burden of living a double life began taking a toll on me. Over time, I came to terms with it, and being active in a forum like this is why I am able to keep my sanity and achieve a sense of inner peace. As far as social acceptance is concerned, I don't care who accepts me, I just want the legal right to engage in Zoo oriented activities.

I have noticed some big differences between Zoos and the LGBT. First, I have noticed that a lot of gays define themselves by their sexual orientation. As a man who is attracted to Zoo women, I do not want to be identified by my sexual orientation but by my personal and professional accomplishments. The second thing that I have noticed is that a lot of members of the LGBT seem to enjoy putting themselves out there in an extroverted manner. For example, the gay pride parade where members of the LGBT like to march around half-naked while wearing a strap-on dildo. I simply cannot relate to this. I have noticed that an overwhelmingly large percentage of Zoos seem to be introverts. Let's be honest with ourselves for once! Yes, we do have gays in the Zoo community, but as a whole, Zoo culture is radically different from LGBT culture.

The point that I am trying to make is that what works for them is not going to work for us. We have to find social acceptance through different avenues; through our art, through our writings, and through stand-up comedy. As far as acceptance is concerned, we have each other here on the web, and that is enough for me. It would be nice to have our own back-alley Zoo clubs.
 
I came out to my friend
Never caught with dog cock in me
But has been in on situation that is difficult to explain My friend would come to visit but she arrives two hours before she would, There is a knock on my door I know immediately that it's her I'm scared so I threw my pitbull away from my back and ran to the toilet puts on new pants and panties without thinking, I go and open the door when she comes in he stands with his whole cock out and my panties next to him this was so embarrassing. There were many questions but she did not dare to say anything when she was here but stayed by text message when she came home.

later I found out that she likes the same
My friend (who ive been friend with for 15 year) and I were talking about sexual fantasy's she asked me if I had any and I couldnt help but think of Zoo, I told her that what i was gonna tell her might shock her and I finaly worked up the courage to tell her and she just kinda sat there like "Oh, Thats it?" and she was okay with me liking it for a few days, then she asked me to watch a video with her, I began to wonder if she was into it and guess what? SHE WAS!! She was so excited she told me that she did it when she was young with a beagle. She told me she never figured id like it and shes amazed I do, I feel so reliefed and it has opened our friendship.
 
Look, I went through the phase of wanting to tell others after the burden of living a double life began taking a toll on me. Over time, I came to terms with it, and being active in a forum like this is why I am able to keep my sanity and achieve a sense of inner peace. As far as social acceptance is concerned, I don't care who accepts me, I just want the legal right to engage in Zoo oriented activities.

I have noticed some big differences between Zoos and the LGBT. First, I have noticed that a lot of gays define themselves by their sexual orientation. As a man who is attracted to Zoo women, I do not want to be identified by my sexual orientation but by my personal and professional accomplishments. The second thing that I have noticed is that a lot of members of the LGBT seem to enjoy putting themselves out there in an extroverted manner. For example, the gay pride parade where members of the LGBT like to march around half-naked while wearing a strap-on dildo. I simply cannot relate to this. I have noticed that an overwhelmingly large percentage of Zoos seem to be introverts. Let's be honest with ourselves for once! Yes, we do have gays in the Zoo community, but as a whole, Zoo culture is radically different from LGBT culture.

The point that I am trying to make is that what works for them is not going to work for us. We have to find social acceptance through different avenues; through our art, through our writings, and through stand-up comedy. As far as acceptance is concerned, we have each other here on the web, and that is enough for me. It would be nice to have our own back-alley Zoo clubs.

We are of the same mind and that in itself truly helps with the loneliness, thank you for expressing yourself so articulately and thoroughly, and for the unintentional but most welcome comradere
 
i came out to my wife. i had to, she saw so many pics and movies on my computer....also I had a female lab and she loved me...it was, like, putting two and two together. I told her the truth and she was very judgemental. We are now divorced since two years ago. I'm so tire of being alone in my desires to live openly with a woman who feels the same craving. I'd give my left arm to date, then live with a zoo woman. It's all I want.
 
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