The Day I Died

Qutytoad

Tourist
Levi James


I officially died at 4:30 p.m. on Monday the 29th of March, 2021. Physically I may still be here but emotionally I’m tapped. I’m done. I just can not take anymore loss in this life time.



I’ve had dogs all my life. I don’t know how to explain the difference with this one, but Levi James can only be explained as born 100% angel.



He was my soul. He was my heart. He was my everything. Honestly he truly was not a dog.



He has been by my side through so much in my life. The ups and the downs. The evil that tried to overcome my life that literally tried to push me to end it but did not win. This boy was there to help me through it. The evil that tried to steal my child, again held my hand and walked me down the path to end the drama. The move across the country to better my life and get me away from all the negative hate, yep he was right there next to me.



I trained him as a service dog from a baby so that he was allowed to go to the nursing home and visit his great grandma. From there he took on the geriatric personality. Such a humble ole’ man even as a little boy. Gentle, loving, caring. All he wanted in life was to love and be loved.



Balls? Be a dog? I think not! Pshhhh he was too good to chase balls. He would lay there with his head on your lap and watch the kids run and chase the balls while you pet him. Let those little little dirty smelly kids chase the ball. I’ll take all the lovins in the meantime.



If you really want to take him out to do something though. His love was to go swim with the turtles in the pond. Used to scare me so much. What if there was a ’gator, but you could not keep him out of the water. Must have been the Lab in him.



Levi boy. You were such a wonderful boy. The best of the best. I will never be able to truly replace you. Right now I’m not sure that I even want to. Your brother and I are having a pretty rough time walking around the house looking at everything you have left behind. Everything that you have touched. Your memory is on every inch of this home. You literally built this home from the ground up.



We haven’t been able to tell Banana yet. She has lost so much these past 6 months already. At 5 she should not have to deal with this. Now we have to tell her that “HER WEVI” is gone? Life is so not fair. Dammit I wish dogs could out live humans.



I can only hope that one day she will forgive me. That she understands you were in pain. That I promised you 13.5 years ago when the day came that you were suffering, when you started falling I would not let you suffer. I would not let you lose your dignity. You were a proud dog. Such a handsome boy. You turned heads everywhere we went and received so many complements for your behavior. I had to uphold that promise.



So please baby boy! Never forget, Mommy loves you so so much. Sissy, your brother and Banana loves you more than words can describe. Everyone has been crying and leaving such words of love for you. I’ve even received calls from all across the country for you. That’s how damn special you are and don’t you ever forget it!



I miss you so much already. Your crazy brother misses you too. He keeps running outside looking for you, he won’t eat. He won’t get in bed because he is waiting for you to get in first. So make sure you give him a sign. Let him know your watching over him. He is not being his normal troublesome self. It’s scaring me. I can’t handle losing him too from a broken heart.



Make sure you stay with Mia, Jakey, Bengi and Gram B and I promise I will be with you one day soon. Give everybody hugs and kisses for me and make sure Gram is behaving for goodness sakes!!!



Till we meet again my sweet sweet boy!
 

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you will find consolation somewhere - perhaps in the memory of the love you shared, perhaps in something that others can do or say, perhaps in knowing that others who read of your loss will share some of that pain through their tears. I know mine will not be the only ones.
 
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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you will find consolation somewhere - perhaps in the memory of the love you shared, perhaps in something that others can do or say, perhaps in knowing that others who read of your loss will share some of that pain through their tears. I know mine will be the only ones.
 
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