TF-is-quite-hot
Lurker
Good evening everyone.
Welcome to my thread where I seek input and help with understanding myself and my sexuality.
So, for as long as I can remember I have had a facination with animals. I would not say it has always been in a romantic/sexual sense, but some type of attraction. In my early years it as something I connected more to than to my peers of similar age, and later in my teens I also started having some more sexual feelings for animals.
Going back a bit, I had an obsession with the Lion King as a child, and if I ever had attraction for a fictional character it would be Nala. As I entered puberty, I never really ever felt any attraction towards girls around me, nor men for that matter. When showed porn for the first time, I felt nothing but disgust and it took until my early 20s before I actually watched any type of recorded porn, and even then I can count the times I have done so one two hands. My earliest memories about masturbating to something was taking a book on wild animals with me into the bathroom to wack it to images of lions mating or just laying in the grass (around 12 years old).
About the same time during a school paper on pumas (I had a thing for big cats at the time I guess, well I still do...) I found a picture while going through google images of pumas that would change my self pleasure sessions for all the years to come. It was a drawing of a puma-girl. Following the image to the origin, I found the artist had done a lot images and stories of animal transformations. I was beyond aroused even if I didn't completely connect the feeling of excitement sexually yet, just a feeling of immense facination. I had always had a interest in animal transformation in books or movies, having actively tried to find them where I could at the library. I add also in my youth always wished to be an animal myself. The realization there were such things on the internet lead me to find other sites that hosted transformation art and stories.
For some time I didn't masturbate to this material, but rather tried to find as much of it as I could, and I think it might have been due to it for the most part being in the ballpark of SFW-content. But boy did it make me dribble precum and get random erections I could not really understand. A year or so later I found more sexualized stuff and needless to say, I am happy I had gotten a laptop around that time.
But for a long time I thought that I was turned on by the thought of the transformation. And that was definitely a part of it. But the more the years has gone by I have realized it is more about the submissiveness of the transformed subject, the domination of the one changing them, the surrender to the new instincts, them being forced (or made willing) to breed. And it always had to be into animals I found attractive, such as felines, dogs, equines, wolfs or foxes. Cows being an exeption since milking is hot. It also started to shift into me having a preference for boys/men becoming female animals or girls/women turning into male animals.
As for real things, I have almost exclusively consumed media that is written or drawn, since real stuff kind of makes me feel bad given I don't know what is going on behind the camera. This goes for zoo as well as standard porn. I also have not ever been in love, I don't even know the feeling.
I have been ashamed of my feeling for transformation, and later also for zoo once I realized I am attracted to animals, just that I have made those feelings part of my transformation fetish to make myself more accepting of it with the justification that "it is only impossible fantasy" at least.
I have never had a chance to get to know any larger dogs or horses since I haven't had any around me, only two smaller neutered dogs that I had lick me once in my teens, but shame and fear made me not do it again. I felt great attraction and facination however whenever I meet any larger dogs and being able to hug or lie next to them, never understanding it as sexual attraction until recently. As well as realizing I actually find sheaths really sexy.
I still feel shame and depression over all these feelings, since it is so taboo still over here in Sweden, and I am in no position to live any of it out since I can't get any dog or horse in my current situation. Though I still feel the most attraction to big felines which ofc sadly will forever be impossible.
I don't know how to deal with all of this. I am moving into my 30s next year, and I still not understood myself and my feelings. When I imagine myself with a human, I can't see myself being able to love them. Casual sex sure, pleasure is nice, but I think I might enjoy a zoo relationship a woman where we both enjoy our dogs together. Or a man, I don't really know, I think that could work too if it is the right person. All I know is I would want a relation with someone as well as having the best of two worlds with both a male and female dog...At least I think I do. But I don't know if I will ever be able to take the step to try due to all the stigma.
Well, that got longer than I first intended. Sorry for the long post. I just needed to get this of my chest and get to hear some thoughts from others here.
Thanks for reading. <3
Welcome to my thread where I seek input and help with understanding myself and my sexuality.
So, for as long as I can remember I have had a facination with animals. I would not say it has always been in a romantic/sexual sense, but some type of attraction. In my early years it as something I connected more to than to my peers of similar age, and later in my teens I also started having some more sexual feelings for animals.
Going back a bit, I had an obsession with the Lion King as a child, and if I ever had attraction for a fictional character it would be Nala. As I entered puberty, I never really ever felt any attraction towards girls around me, nor men for that matter. When showed porn for the first time, I felt nothing but disgust and it took until my early 20s before I actually watched any type of recorded porn, and even then I can count the times I have done so one two hands. My earliest memories about masturbating to something was taking a book on wild animals with me into the bathroom to wack it to images of lions mating or just laying in the grass (around 12 years old).
About the same time during a school paper on pumas (I had a thing for big cats at the time I guess, well I still do...) I found a picture while going through google images of pumas that would change my self pleasure sessions for all the years to come. It was a drawing of a puma-girl. Following the image to the origin, I found the artist had done a lot images and stories of animal transformations. I was beyond aroused even if I didn't completely connect the feeling of excitement sexually yet, just a feeling of immense facination. I had always had a interest in animal transformation in books or movies, having actively tried to find them where I could at the library. I add also in my youth always wished to be an animal myself. The realization there were such things on the internet lead me to find other sites that hosted transformation art and stories.
For some time I didn't masturbate to this material, but rather tried to find as much of it as I could, and I think it might have been due to it for the most part being in the ballpark of SFW-content. But boy did it make me dribble precum and get random erections I could not really understand. A year or so later I found more sexualized stuff and needless to say, I am happy I had gotten a laptop around that time.
But for a long time I thought that I was turned on by the thought of the transformation. And that was definitely a part of it. But the more the years has gone by I have realized it is more about the submissiveness of the transformed subject, the domination of the one changing them, the surrender to the new instincts, them being forced (or made willing) to breed. And it always had to be into animals I found attractive, such as felines, dogs, equines, wolfs or foxes. Cows being an exeption since milking is hot. It also started to shift into me having a preference for boys/men becoming female animals or girls/women turning into male animals.
As for real things, I have almost exclusively consumed media that is written or drawn, since real stuff kind of makes me feel bad given I don't know what is going on behind the camera. This goes for zoo as well as standard porn. I also have not ever been in love, I don't even know the feeling.
I have been ashamed of my feeling for transformation, and later also for zoo once I realized I am attracted to animals, just that I have made those feelings part of my transformation fetish to make myself more accepting of it with the justification that "it is only impossible fantasy" at least.
I have never had a chance to get to know any larger dogs or horses since I haven't had any around me, only two smaller neutered dogs that I had lick me once in my teens, but shame and fear made me not do it again. I felt great attraction and facination however whenever I meet any larger dogs and being able to hug or lie next to them, never understanding it as sexual attraction until recently. As well as realizing I actually find sheaths really sexy.
I still feel shame and depression over all these feelings, since it is so taboo still over here in Sweden, and I am in no position to live any of it out since I can't get any dog or horse in my current situation. Though I still feel the most attraction to big felines which ofc sadly will forever be impossible.
I don't know how to deal with all of this. I am moving into my 30s next year, and I still not understood myself and my feelings. When I imagine myself with a human, I can't see myself being able to love them. Casual sex sure, pleasure is nice, but I think I might enjoy a zoo relationship a woman where we both enjoy our dogs together. Or a man, I don't really know, I think that could work too if it is the right person. All I know is I would want a relation with someone as well as having the best of two worlds with both a male and female dog...At least I think I do. But I don't know if I will ever be able to take the step to try due to all the stigma.
Well, that got longer than I first intended. Sorry for the long post. I just needed to get this of my chest and get to hear some thoughts from others here.
Thanks for reading. <3