Pollys top tips

[Wasbitchpolly]

Got any tips you’d like to share ? Well here’s the place to do it

Spread toothpaste on your breakfast it saves time brushing your teeth later

 

[Erja]

For you guys who wanne masturbate. Sit on the toilet with your hand under the lid. Then when your hand is all numb, masturbate. Feels like somebpdy else does it.

 

[DLMEM202]

Ladies. If you're commando have good kegels when using remote control toys. A woman I was with on the tube dropped hers when I kept her cumming.

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

Hey you zoophiles and your dog can’t darn socks here’s a handy tip

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

If you’ve only got a phone with a small screen simply stand it in a glass of water and it magnifies it to twice the size

 

[Knotbich]

if you can't open a jar use a Nutcracker on the lid

 

[Delmar]

If you’ve only got a phone with a small screen simply stand it in a glass of water and it magnifies it to twice the size

I bet you learnt that at College.

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

Change your password to “incorrect” so if you ever forget it your computer will always tell you
“Your password is incorrect”

 

[DLMEM202]

If you can't fix software on your computer use Format C:

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

If you’ve bought an expensive large screen television put the box it came in by your neighbours dustbin so they’ll get burgled instead of you

 

[Delmar]

If you have a security system don't lock your doors. When the system is on and a burger Open Your Door the alarm goes off and he will run. If your door is locked he will tear your door up then open it the alarm will go off and he will run. This saves buying a new door.

 

[DLMEM202]

Don't shoot burglars in the back.

 

[Delmar]

Don't shoot burglars in the back.

If you do drag them back in the house and shoot him in the front

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

Drivers
Don’t get caught using a mobile while driving
Put your phone in a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea

 

[Erja]

If you have to fart in public, look at the person next to you with a disgusting look.

 

[Erja]

Men, ecercise alot so your body gets just as flexibele as a dogs body and you can lick your own Balls.

 

[Dm2192]

If you ever lose at a competitive video game, make sure to blame your shitty team or call out someone on the other team for hacking. It's never your fault that you lost.

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

View attachment 7218

Take a selfie of yourself looking down a toilet roll ... hey man in the moon

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

If you want to eat while watching your favourite tv show and don’t have a table simply unscrew the toilet seat

 

[Erja]

Hey are fire trucks red ?
Truck has 4 tired, plus 1spare is 5. 4 x 5 is 20, 20 shilling to 1 pound, pont sails on water, in water swim fish, fish have Fins, Fins fought the russians, russians are communists, communists are red, that's why.

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

Got a shirt that needs ironing and your iron doesn’t work ? No problem simply find a reall fat man and get him to wear it for 10 minutes and the creases will be gone

 

[Erja]

Watch the zipper if you dont wear underwear

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

Don’t invite people sat alone to eat at your table, they’re alone for a reason

 

[Erja]

As long as i got a face, you got a place to sit.

 

[saddlebum66]

Dishes: they're clean enough to eat off of if they were clean enough to stop eating off of.

" saddlebum's rulebook, page eight, para 2, line three"

 

[Erja]

Checking your avatar: you need two more hands to give them the required support .?

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

Checking your avatar: you need two more hands to give them the required support .?

Don’t be cheeky

 

[Erja]

Don’t be cheeky

What does that mean ???? Sometimes i miss the slang. Ok google helper me. Sorry ma'am??

 

[alexagryphon]

If you can't fix software on your computer use Format C:

Wait... this is an actual technique I've used before.... !