Moments of guilt? Ups and downs?

knottymelbourne

knottymelbourne

Tourist
Hi everyone

Just wondering if anyone else goes through moments of guilt about their fetish? I have moments where I feel really down that I do this behind my partners back, that looking at animal porn is wrong, that Im taking advantage of our dog, it seems to go through varying degrees. Im even sometimes convinced that after I have moments where I am really into it and being really naughty I then have periods of really bad luck, like something bad happens and the universe is punishing me. Which I know is silly, but then I have thoughts of like, is it really?

And then I kind of try to stop, which lasts a week, two, tops, and then Im so horny and so turned on that I take major risks like pretending to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water just so I can let our dog lick me for a few seconds. And I feel so turned on 24/7 and free for a while, and then will have another time where I am guilty again.

Covid lock downs seem to affect it as well. Being home all the time now I am SO turned on I just want to spread my legs for our boy and I want to share it openly with my husband to stop the guilt from setting in but I am so scared, yet horny.

It's just a constant up and down of wanting it, wanting acceptance, to being ashamed, to trying to ignore it, to then being so turned on I cant think of anything else and can not control it.

Sometimes I think I am going crazy
 
Many people on this site seem to sometimes have moments of guilt over their zoophilia, or at least have in the past.
As for me, I only knew about the societal stigma around zoophilia after I already realized I was zoo, so I obviously would have had no shame over it when I was starting out. But later, when I realized how society demonized zoophiles, I started going into a phase of being angry of society, which evolved into a phase of being angry at myself and my situation. Today, these "guilt-attacks" have become much more infrequent due to my time spent on this site, but before this when I had no other prozoo place to go to, it was much worse.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to that point before I was pulled into the reality of how society feels about zoos, but I am kind of glad it happened, because I feel it made me a stronger person in the end.
 
You are not alone it's true. Each time i was with a dog it felt wrong but so hot too, i have been excited before it and deep down in mood after but still couldn't help but imagined next time. Felt so dirty and naughty, but somehow loved it. Ups and downs are regular. I'd say if you take a good care of your dog and provide him what he now needs - in terms of human love, then you are doing a good thing. Right?
 
This is something which mostly the girls feel, but have others situations involving sex which they feeling guilty in the regular sex.
 
i'd probably feel some guilt if i cheated on my partner too.... weird you seem to be trying to pin it down to being into animals. guess whatever helps you sleep at night?

as for me, i'm like this for as long as i remember and certainly don't feel it as "some fetish". there is nothing to feel bad or guilty about, when i do what i like to do it feels good for all parties involved
 
nekdoneco123 said:
i'd probably feel some guilt if i cheated on my partner too.... weird you seem to be trying to pin it down to being into animals. guess whatever helps you sleep at night?
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Thanks for the judgement, but yes, it certainly does weigh on my guilt. For the record Ive never cheated on him with anyone else.

Thanks though. Ill just go jump off a bridge now.
 
knottymelbourne said:
Thanks for the judgement, but yes, it certainly does weigh on my guilt. For the record Ive never cheated on him with anyone else.

Thanks though. Ill just go jump off a bridge now.
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don't take such things to heart,
covid in particular has been hard on many people psychologically

It's something you need to come to terms with personally to get truly okay with it, you cant really explain the subtleties of your life to people on forums
but know theres plenty of people here to support you amongst the the more judgmental

Girls that are into dogs are precious and need to be protected at all costs

stay strong
 
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knottymelbourne said:
Thanks for the judgement, but yes, it certainly does weigh on my guilt. For the record Ive never cheated on him with anyone else.

Thanks though. Ill just go jump off a bridge now.
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i didn't try to judge you (i'm hardly in a place to pass any judgments on anyone), it's just an observation.
 
Honestly I started young a long time ago and that came with a lot of feelings of guilt and embarrassment and ‘what is wrong with me’ and all that.

When I was a little older and got married we never had a dog and I just buried that part of my life.

now that I am divorced, I live alone with my German Shepard and I have become a lot more comfortable with myself. Those feelings of guilt and other negative notions are gone and I have a very rewarding companion. The sexual aspect is just the icing on the cake.

I think with time and become more and more comfortable with yourself d how you feel and have desires the bad feelings go away
 
There is a guilt associated with it to some degree because we were mostly taught it is wrong. And for some of us guys being knotted and tied is like a double wrong. I finally let go of the stereotypes, childhood teachings which were somehow twisted years ago. I had to find the right headspace to know that my four legged friends like it as well as I. Also, only you can judge whether your husband would ever be into it, but maybe broach the subject by scrolling by a news article or something and see what his thoughts are on it. Of course everyone's knee jerk reaction is going to be negative until you truly get them comfortable with talking about it.
 
Am also in a relationship and get the same feels, part of me feels like if I got it over and done with I’d be able to be at peace and maybe be able to bury these feelings and part of me feels like it may change my feelings towards him and I’d want other things, leaves me feeling torn between focusing on what I have or trying to bury what I’ve wanted for the past decade, was contemplating make a post something like this but I’m half glad I refreshed and got to see someone else is having the same struggle. Hope it gets easier for yourself or anybody else in the same situation
 
Kyurious14U said:
There is a guilt associated with it to some degree because we were mostly taught it is wrong. And for some of us guys being knotted and tied is like a double wrong. I finally let go of the stereotypes, childhood teachings which were somehow twisted years ago. I had to find the right headspace to know that my four legged friends like it as well as I. Also, only you can judge whether your husband would ever be into it, but maybe broach the subject by scrolling by a news article or something and see what his thoughts are on it. Of course everyone's knee jerk reaction is going to be negative until you truly get them comfortable with talking about it.
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News articles are always so negative so you’re almost trained to say it’s disgusting- or they’re scary with people being arrested. Hardly helps the situation
 
tropicalz95 said:
Am also in a relationship and get the same feels, part of me feels like if I got it over and done with I’d be able to be at peace and maybe be able to bury these feelings and part of me feels like it may change my feelings towards him and I’d want other things, leaves me feeling torn between focusing on what I have or trying to bury what I’ve wanted for the past decade, was contemplating make a post something like this but I’m half glad I refreshed and got to see someone else is having the same struggle. Hope it gets easier for yourself or anybody else in the same situation
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What do you mean by change your feelings towards him?
But yes sorry it’s hard for you too.
 
I go through weeks of feeling disgusted with myself and then all of a sudden I find myself doing things that are more and more risqué. Last night after my partner and I had sex (our sex life is great btw so I’m not a neglected wife or anything) he fell asleep and I was browsing here and ended up letting our dog lick me to a quick orgasm under the covers with my sleeping partner next to me snoring away. I was so turned on two licks on my clit and I was biting into the pillow at which point had he rolled over I don’t know what I’d have said. Stupid really.
 
Oh, sure, there's a lot of shit to work through and its worthwhile to do so. I was pre-pubescent when the spectacle of k9 virility was first introduced - and later k9 present at my first orgasm. Four years later we had become lovers. I love him. And he loved me. When i was naked with my lover we were equal. The same being. Crawling under him and pressing my well licked asshole into his crotch was divine, heaven on earth. As an adult i'm very much at piece with my desires. My excitement of 'anything' dog cock or knot related. I have not had k9 lover since. If I do I know it will be the right situation - because it will never happen otherwise. And if it never does, I'm ok with that too. But it took a while to get there.
 

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Definitely have dealt with guilt in the past, especially being raised the way I was. Ultimately its to each their own to accept and come to terms with their feelings or desires. I wasn't raised in a sex positive household, then discovering zoo porn in my early teens was indescribable, it was a major turn on but made me feel quite guilty as well. Eventually as I got older I read and learned what I could to gain a healthier mindset towards sex and myself. I'm aware that I'm not in control of what turns me on and what doesn't and to deny myself the fact that watching a woman with an animal is something I find incredibly exciting just doesn't feel true to myself. Either way I feel as though many many people deal with guilt regarding their kinks, even more this with the way it's perceived and how society as a whole seems to feel about it. To anyone feeling guilt, cut yourself some slack, do some reflecting and soul searching, research if you need to as well. But ultimately it lies on each individual to come to terms with it and how to proceed with that.
 
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Hi Knotty, fellow Melbournite here.

the guilt and shame stuff is familiar to me too. You’re not a bad person for having unconventional desires or for finding ways to meet them; but it can certainly feel that way when you feel forced to keep them secret. And covid has been isolating for us all in a way that makes us extra-reliant on the people around us AND the things that make us feel good.
only you can judge whether there’s a way to safely broach the topic with your partner, but as someone who has crossed that bridge a number of times in my relationships I’d be happy to offer some advice if it’s welcome?
 
MelbDaddy said:
Hi Knotty, fellow Melbournite here.

the guilt and shame stuff is familiar to me too. You’re not a bad person for having unconventional desires or for finding ways to meet them; but it can certainly feel that way when you feel forced to keep them secret. And covid has been isolating for us all in a way that makes us extra-reliant on the people around us AND the things that make us feel good.
only you can judge whether there’s a way to safely broach the topic with your partner, but as someone who has crossed that bridge a number of times in my relationships I’d be happy to offer some advice if it’s welcome?
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Hi you’re absolutely right about Covid. It’s driving me crazy. It’s also making harder to be alone to feel comfortable. I’m constantly around my partner and constantly around our dog. And constantly horny, and then constantly guilty for sneaking around behind his back in our home. Or locking myself in the bathroom to read/post here.
 
knottymelbourne said:
Hi you’re absolutely right about Covid. It’s driving me crazy. It’s also making harder to be alone to feel comfortable. I’m constantly around my partner and constantly around our dog. And constantly horny, and then constantly guilty for sneaking around behind his back in our home. Or locking myself in the bathroom to read/post here.
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sounds like you might just need to bite the bullet and tell him. it sucks to be hiding something from someone you love
 
knottymelbourne said:
Hi everyone

Just wondering if anyone else goes through moments of guilt about their fetish? I have moments where I feel really down that I do this behind my partners back, that looking at animal porn is wrong, that Im taking advantage of our dog, it seems to go through varying degrees. Im even sometimes convinced that after I have moments where I am really into it and being really naughty I then have periods of really bad luck, like something bad happens and the universe is punishing me. Which I know is silly, but then I have thoughts of like, is it really?

And then I kind of try to stop, which lasts a week, two, tops, and then Im so horny and so turned on that I take major risks like pretending to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water just so I can let our dog lick me for a few seconds. And I feel so turned on 24/7 and free for a while, and then will have another time where I am guilty again.

Covid lock downs seem to affect it as well. Being home all the time now I am SO turned on I just want to spread my legs for our boy and I want to share it openly with my husband to stop the guilt from setting in but I am so scared, yet horny.

It's just a constant up and down of wanting it, wanting acceptance, to being ashamed, to trying to ignore it, to then being so turned on I cant think of anything else and can not control it.

Sometimes I think I am going crazy
Click to expand...
Early moments of feeling some shame that have since departed. For awhile, I knew I was allowing access to often during the week, but the guilt or shame only fell on me after he pulled out and I still had needs... Sprint ahead three years and I was seldom left unsatisfied and rarely felt shame or guilt.
Still wonder once in awhile how difficult things could get if our secret affair with the dogs was ever exposed. The Covid response seems to be fairly normal and quite common....
 
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