maybe we'll see each other again someday...

nekdoneco123

nekdoneco123

Esteemed Citizen of ZV
my very first crush died today. he lived for, for a newfie and a bit of a saint bernard very impressive, 17 years.

he was a boy of my best friend's parents and the day i met him my dreams (well, wet dreams too) changed drastically... they were all about him. he was to me a text book example of "love on first sight". for quite some time i used to come up with all sorts of random excuses just to go visit him, even just for a few minutes. for a single touch...

even tho he was very likely "just a dog" to his ppl, he was loved and pampered. he even had his own sofa.

he was one of my very first experiences, he didn't sire any pups before that so i was likely his very first.
he's probably the number one reason i heavily prefer "fluffy boys" over anyone else.

when my bestie moved away from his parents, and i lost my only "realistic" reason to visit there, it took some years, countless nights filled with tears and me meeting my now late George to get over him.

i have no idea why they felt the need to notify me of his passing, but they did and now i'm sitting here half-broken, contemplating what have been and what might have been if stuff like visiting someone you don't really know that well with "hey, can i take your dog out (for a date)?" wasn't fucking impossible.

Nuny, i never stopped loving you, i just had to because it was expected from me... you weren't "mine" in the one sense that matters in this world. maybe we'll run into each other in the next.
 
that's the thing that depresses me the most about this, it's not even "my" loss. i can't just go visit there and ask to visit his grave to maybe put some flowers there... or ask for his picture since i don't have any.

he was "their" and to them i'm just their son's best friend and i have no business having any query about him... even more so when it's some years since the last time i saw him, still in his prime. doesn't matter if meeting him was when my "i'd like to cuddle with a dog for a whole afternoon" turned into "i'd like to cuddle with him for a whole afternoon" or "i'd love to feel a dog's breath down my neck" into "i'd love to feel his breath down my neck". he simply wasn't "mine".

such a lovely little thing this curse of ours is at times....
 
Well... It probably doesn't mean much I am here however whatever friendship you established along the way will be remembered in the afterlife.

They may not live long but they are great individuals. We just have to put our hearts into each day of their lives. Owner or not you had your heart set on that individual. That's what matters.
 
A few months ago I got the call that one of the boys from my childhood had passed away. A big ol goofy lab but man did I love him. I still remember those nights staying over at my friends and he would climb up and snuggle with me all night. I wish that I could feel his warm fur against me one more time. I know what you mean by saying it doesn't feel like "my loss". I felt like it wasn't my place to feel sad for his passing but I still couldn't help but tear up getting the news. My friend wanted to tell me because he knew I cared for that dog in some way, and I was grateful that he did.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I have recently lost my GSD earlier this month unexpectedly. I am absolutely crushed my heart is beyond broken, I miss him so dang much and feel like healing is just not possible. My mind is always racing thinking about what I could have done to prevent this from happening even though I know there was nothing I could have done (autopsy determined the cause to be undetected cancer), I think back to that day I lost him.. It hurts so much to remember those thoughts I just cannot get out of my mind. At least I have all the wonderful years we got to spend together to think back and smile upon. I hope that one day we will be reunited in whatever comes after life.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top