Love letter for her

N24

Lurker
Wrong. Why am I tormented by this feeling? When I think of me without you, something is missing inside me, it is not in its place. As if I'm not complete. The anxiety, the sadness and the desire to cry, to feel bad, because yes, after all maybe I deserve it. Maybe that day I was wrong to feel good, complete and safe. If I think about it, I feel like crying. That moment when I realized that you were everything, but that you couldn't be anything. All that distant time made me realize how fragile I am in the face of such feelings. I thought I was stuck, I couldn't dream, but then I understood. I was already dreaming, the best dream of my life. But impossible. Wrong. But if it's wrong, why do I feel so good dreaming? So good that I forget everything, all my problems and ailments, for a short time. Too little time because then I return to reality, the real one, the tangible one, the "wrong" but so unjust one. Why should something so beautiful, so true be wrong? After all, how can such a beautiful feeling be wrong? I suffer, every day, when I see you, but I cannot be next to you. If they knew. If only they knew what I feel. If they felt my pain now in writing. I cry, I cry on this sheet, on these words written out of need, out of feeling. I am alone, with you that you dream. While I vent my torment by listening to your breath, calm. I vent on these once blank pages. Preconceptions, hatred and misunderstandings. This is wrong. Not a beautiful feeling. Not more. I cry. I cry and write with tears in my face. Tears full of hatred, of anger. But also of love. A love in chains, oppressed by the need to repress the different, the weakest. Because yes, in the end I am weak and fragile, like a soap bubble, which breaks without its balance. Maybe I should never have written anything, but know that whatever happens, I LOVE YOU.
 
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