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Just need some advice please on how to deal with a lost loved one

Pip_The_GSD

Pip_The_GSD

Tourist
sadly had to put my very first dog that i could call my own down on February the 20th this year due to an untreatable illness that destoryed his entire leg within 24 hours. now he was my world, my best friend my everything and was turning 13 this year and since then ive just felt empty and destroyed. i do have another dog that i got back in 2023 so he could teach him the ropes of good dog life and so on but not even him can fill the gap thats been left in my heart and not one single day can go by without me thinking about my boy and getting super depressed and upset.

just wondering how do others deal with this pain of lost? i hate the feeling but i just cant seem to get rid of it what so ever

(he was my very first own dog and the one who opened me up to the zoo life, he was basically my partner and i loved him like you'd love a soul mate)
 
Time is the only thing that will make it easier. The loss of a partner is debilitating and very very hard. The best thing you can do is get support from friends and loved ones. A true love and partner can't be replaced by another. Your other dog can help, but it will just take time.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy.
 
TheEquineMystique said:
Time is the only thing that will make it easier. The loss of a partner is debilitating and very very hard. The best thing you can do is get support from friends and loved ones. A true love and partner can't be replaced by another. Your other dog can help, but it will just take time.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy.
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just cant get that day out of my mind, he went toilet at 6am and was perfectly fine and went back to sleep, at about 8am he woke up and couldnt put and pressure on his back right let what so ever so went to the vet and the doctor i saw did nothing and gave him painkillers and said bring him back the next day if nothing changes. not even 3 hours later of being home he got so much worse and had to rush him back down where another doctor did xrays and so on but couldnt find an answer to he stayed in over night and by 1pm the next day after they spoke with a specialist found out there was nothing that could be done he was sadly put to sleep. just cant get that day out of my head and how hopeless/defeated he looked. i know i did the right thing and did all i could for him but it just hurts badly.

thank you for sending your condolences btw, i appreciate it and any advice given
 
You're welcome. That sounds horrible. That had to be incredibly hard. The only small piece of consolation I can give is that now he is pain free. My heart goes out to you. I know this isn't the same situation, but I was separated from my heart horse (my own decision but greatly pressured by another) for almost two years. Letting her go was one of the hardest things I ever did, and my heart hurt from the day I let her go until the day I got her back. While it in no way compares to your situation, I can absolutely imagine what you are going through. My girl and I are now so very much closer, and I would be completely devastated if I lost her. I do have another lady, but as you said in your post, it's just not the same. When your heart and soul loves another being, and that being has to go, it leaves an empty spot that nothing else can fill. Time will make it better. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to DM me if you can.
 
TheEquineMystique said:
You're welcome. That sounds horrible. That had to be incredibly hard. The only small piece of consolation I can give is that now he is pain free. My heart goes out to you. I know this isn't the same situation, but I was separated from my heart horse (my own decision but greatly pressured by another) for almost two years. Letting her go was one of the hardest things I ever did, and my heart hurt from the day I let her go until the day I got her back. While it in no way compares to your situation, I can absolutely imagine what you are going through. My girl and I are now so very much closer, and I would be completely devastated if I lost her. I do have another lady, but as you said in your post, it's just not the same. When your heart and soul loves another being, and that being has to go, it leaves an empty spot that nothing else can fill. Time will make it better. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to DM me if you can.
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sorry to hear about your loss also, and thank you for taking the time of your day to respond. i really do appreiciate it. like yes i do have my other boy that has learnt alot of things from his older brother and i do love him alot and he has helped me along way with dealing with the grief. its just the feeling of being empty that i absolutely hate
 
So sorry for your loss. Just know he's still looking over you and when you feel he's around, know he's come back to visit you. When he comes into your thoughts, it's him coming to tell you he loves you and wants you to be happy, not depressed or sad. Having lost our dog last year, it's been hard and time does make it easier. I know he's in a better place in heaven and we'll see him again one day. Don't be hard on yourself, you gave your soul mate the best life he could ever have and he's taken the love with him. Heal in your own time 🙏
 
Pip_The_GSD said:
sorry to hear about your loss also, and thank you for taking the time of your day to respond. i really do appreiciate it. like yes i do have my other boy that has learnt alot of things from his older brother and i do love him alot and he has helped me along way with dealing with the grief. its just the feeling of being empty that i absolutely hate
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I wish there was something I could say to make it easier.
 
Funnyfellow said:
So sorry for your loss. Just know he's still looking over you and when you feel he's around, know he's come back to visit you. When he comes into your thoughts, it's him coming to tell you he loves you and wants you to be happy, not depressed or sad. Having lost our dog last year, it's been hard and time does make it easier. I know he's in a better place in heaven and we'll see him again one day. Don't be hard on yourself, you gave your soul mate the best life he could ever have and he's taken the love with him. Heal in your own time 🙏
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😭😭😭😭
 
Having lost many humans and pets over the years, and having just lost our family pup, I will tell you something that has really helped me.

Think of healing and grief not as a straight line from beginning to end, but more like a spiral that steadily grows outward from the center. We can honor our loved ones by allowing the pain of their loss in, learning to accept it as it is, and letting it go by rebuilding our lives and remaining relationships back up again.

You don't have to feel like you are "leaving them behind" because their spirit, their energy, and the love you shared with them will always be a part of you. Let it inform the love that you cultivate for yourself and for others. Carry it with acceptance and grace in your heart.
 
My first dog wasn't a sexual connection but we shared a very deep love, after 25 years I still get hit with the fact that she will never be in my arms again, that I'll never see her love filled eyes looking at me and it's still hard, but time softens it some and more love is always good, it won't fill the hole in your heart but can help you accept it
 
I find it can help to memorialize in some way (though the loss will still hurt). I lost my big fluff a little over a year ago, and a thing that helped me a lot was building a reliquary for some of his ashes and tuft of fur. I know others who have memorialized in the form of a piece of art, or even building a statue in minecraft
 
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