Just lost my Buddy

Dogbuddy

Tourist
On July 5th I lost my buddy of 10 years to a tragic event - he was run over by a car or truck. I don't know which because I wasn't there. I went frantically hunting for him throughout the neighborhood until 4:00 o'clock in the morning - to no avail. The following morning, I left a message with the vet in case someone found him and brought him there, not knowing that he had already been brought in dead that evening. I went and saw his crushed body and became numb. I just walked out and drove home, not saying another word to anyone. I feel sooo guilty because I left him out alone earlier that evening. I had been doing this ever since the snow melted this spring and for many years before that. The highway is quite a ways away and, since I knew that he knew his way around, I didn't give it a second thought. Now, I have to live with both the sorrow of losing him and the regret of letting him out by himself. He just loved to be out and off-leash. He was an excellent trail companion and could smell his way back to me at any time. I should have realized how difficult he was to see in the dark, nearly moonless night. I had always walked with with him on a moonlit night or, of course, during the day.
We lived in the forest and both loved hiking. He would enjoy and learn the smells of the trail and I always knew that I would never be lost with him. He spent most of the first part of life living with me and my partner, save for 2 years immediately after rescuing him. But even during that time he would accompany me on day trips to the mountains, where we would hike all day, or until he wanted to got back. He would pick-up a stick and start chewing on it and play "keep-away" with me. That was his favorite game - other than me masturbating him. When he picked it up on the trail though, I knew he was saying "OK, lets go home now, I'm tired of trail snacks.
He never wanted to mount me though, no matter how I tried to encourage him. Although sex was an integral part of our relationship, I find it even more difficult to share that aspect of his life with anyone now. Before, it was fun to discuss this with friends I could trust, but now.... let's just say we had our fun together.

I could type way more to describe how wonderful a dog he was but, I don't I want to stay up until may eyes are so bleary I can't even see very well.
I'll just post a couple pictures to show you all how beautiful, magnificent, and wonderful he was. I'll post more when I can grab them off of my phone.Buddy Aug 2017.jpgBuddy on Trail portrait.jpg
 
He looked so happy and handsome! I know nothing can ease your pain right now but your pain was felt in your words.

My condolences to you.
 
On July 5th I lost my buddy of 10 years to a tragic event - he was run over by a car or truck. I don't know which because I wasn't there. I went frantically hunting for him throughout the neighborhood until 4:00 o'clock in the morning - to no avail. The following morning, I left a message with the vet in case someone found him and brought him there, not knowing that he had already been brought in dead that evening. I went and saw his crushed body and became numb. I just walked out and drove home, not saying another word to anyone. I feel sooo guilty because I left him out alone earlier that evening. I had been doing this ever since the snow melted this spring and for many years before that. The highway is quite a ways away and, since I knew that he knew his way around, I didn't give it a second thought. Now, I have to live with both the sorrow of losing him and the regret of letting him out by himself. He just loved to be out and off-leash. He was an excellent trail companion and could smell his way back to me at any time. I should have realized how difficult he was to see in the dark, nearly moonless night. I had always walked with with him on a moonlit night or, of course, during the day.
We lived in the forest and both loved hiking. He would enjoy and learn the smells of the trail and I always knew that I would never be lost with him. He spent most of the first part of life living with me and my partner, save for 2 years immediately after rescuing him. But even during that time he would accompany me on day trips to the mountains, where we would hike all day, or until he wanted to got back. He would pick-up a stick and start chewing on it and play "keep-away" with me. That was his favorite game - other than me masturbating him. When he picked it up on the trail though, I knew he was saying "OK, lets go home now, I'm tired of trail snacks.
He never wanted to mount me though, no matter how I tried to encourage him. Although sex was an integral part of our relationship, I find it even more difficult to share that aspect of his life with anyone now. Before, it was fun to discuss this with friends I could trust, but now.... let's just say we had our fun together.

I could type way more to describe how wonderful a dog he was but, I don't I want to stay up until may eyes are so bleary I can't even see very well.
I'll just post a couple pictures to show you all how beautiful, magnificent, and wonderful he was. I'll post more when I can grab them off of my phone.View attachment 282221View attachment 282207
My deeply condolences, He had a wonderful life cause you were part of it.
 
I'm sorry for your loss. Things may seem bleak but the pain will fade the memories however live on in the hearts and minds of the people who loved him and the ones he loved 🥲. He should not have went that way it's not fair to you or him but at least the people who hit him had enough sense of responsibility to do the right thing and take him into the vet. Yall used to hike... any special places come to mind? I took mine out to PA to hit some trails before her hips got too bad.
 
How to say this... I has been 10 years of good life, doing trais wuth you and roaming around free cause he felt like it.

Sure, you *could* have leashed him in the backyard every single day and *maybe* live a few more years but... personally I feel his life as a dog was much better the way it was. Even if to you, it took the toll of losing him, maybe a little too soon.

Sort of childs spoiled by superprotective fathers. Never are in danger, but never blossom as persons. You let him be a dog.

In the end, simpthies for the loss, sudden departures are always a big shock.
But do not torture yourself with guilt, think of all the good times he had because of him being with you, and he would have missed otherwise.
 
Thanks to all you folk who responded, not wanting at all to minimalise any of your responses, but I was especially touched and comforted by Mr. Goattobeloved. Thank you for reminding me that, yes, we did have a great life together, and he did really enjoy his life with me.
 
Over the years I've lost several very special cats. It always hurts a lot, and the sadness never goes away completely. I can still feel the love we had, and I like to think that as long as I can feel it they are still alive in me in some way.

It sounds like the two of you had a good life together and shared a lot of love. As Goattobeloved said, please remember all you did to help him live a rich and happy life. You were good to him and for him.

May he rest in peace, and may you find some comfort in knowing that there are others here who are shedding some tears for both of you.
 
Glad to be of help. A little at least.
I am sometimes told I have an odd mind. Good to know it this not always something bad.
 
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