Im becoming overly dependant

Knottedfortune

Zooville Settler
So i imagine there's lots of zoo's that work away from home and don't get the chance to see their other half every night, i am also one of those people.
I have well trusted friends and family that take care of her while im away so i know she's perfectly safe and happy.

But holy shit i feel so lonely and sad out here, i have friends at work that i get along with and all that but i just want to go home and go for a walk with my girl.
Its getting worse with time too, a few years back i could handle it better, I'd still miss her but not be completely miserable.
Now days i honestly rather just live under a bridge with my girl and not do or see anyone or anything else...

So this is clearly becoming a problem somehow, and people don't help at all because i find it hard to give a shit about what they have to say.

I have a small amount of time at home and i have to spend one night somewhere that i cant bring her in order to help some of my family members reconnect, im seriously considering just ghosting everyone and taking my girl to a beach in the opposite direction for the night instead. I have 3 more nights at work then 3 at home to decide.


TLDR: I want my baby back everything else can fuck off.

(And yes i also posted this on zoocomunity)
 
So this is clearly becoming a problem somehow, and people don't help at all because i find it hard to give a shit about what they have to say.
How are we going to help you then? :D

This does not really have an easy solution though. You would have to change your job to be able to either take your dog to work or work from home.
 
How are we going to help you then? :D

This does not really have an easy solution though. You would have to change your job to be able to either take your dog to work or work from home.
Yeh i know that doesn't exactly make the most sense, i mostly mean that im a bit misanthropic with the human race and i find interacting with other people (even family) to be a bit of a chore.

As for work I'm trapped in this line of employment for various reasons and there's little to no chance of me being able to bring her with me.
 
Yeh it sucks but ive been in it this way for years now, and when i get home we're together for a whole week uninterrupted.
Like i said, i used to be able to cope with it until i got home, but lately ive just become sad and unmotivated unless im around her!

No matter how much sleep i get im still tired.
Im having nightmares about her getting hurt.
I don't feel like I'm mentally present at work at all, like its all just auto pilot while i daydream about her.

Work aside im like this whenever i can't be with her now, ifi go somewhere she can't for whatever reason, i just want to sleep through it so i can go home.
 
Do you think this is a problem that needs some fixing? Can you deal with it on your own, or do you think you might need professional help with depression or burnout?
 
If you sacrifice your family and/or job for 'more time' with your dog, you are going to be rolling the dice on loosing her entirely. It sounds like you have a decent family, and you need a job for dog food and vet bills, and to take care of yourself!(you are not much good to your dog if you are sick or homeless) Family, hopefully, is who you can rely on when shit really hits the fan.

IMHO you are heading to a dark corner in your mind and you might need to seek a therapist before it goes critical....
 
I work for half the salary of what I would get in the profession I studied, only because this way I can spend 16-18 hours a day with my dogs...
 
If you choose that, and keep your priorities straight, that is probably OK. If you're ready to live under a bridge to fill in the other 6-8 hours, you're on the verge of loosing it all, most especially your animals. This shit sure won't work for anything but canine zoos! Try being an equine zoo while homeless! HA!

Like I said, if you're really thinking of making this jump, you're basically committing 'soft suicide'. and you need to get help, NOW. Force yourself to get help before you're brain rots to the point that you can't help yourself at all.
 
I agree with PonyTrot, from how you describe the issue you're dealing with clinical depression which also has a biochemical component that likely needs medication to address. When one's body chemistry gets out of whack it can spiral and feed on itself. You seriously need professional help and to get on medication before you do something serious that will place the very thing you value most in jeopardy along with yourself.

P.S. I can strongly relate to being misanthropic and reclusive.
 
I can separate two main things from your current predicament ...

One, you miss your pawed partner when you're away from her. That's great! I don't doubt that she misses you too. It's telling for how much you value and love each other. Missing each other sucks at the time but you can also learn to see it as a good thing. Think about how you will spend the time together when you are back at home.

The second thing I seem to pick up on is that you don't like to be around people. That being a part of a human society is a constant struggle for you. It might help to see this as something separate from the first thing, because then you can consider how you want to handle this by itself.

As to how to handle it, I really can't tell. I don't know you or your circumstances well enough. But it sounds to me that you need to find a way to either get along with humans better or find a way to sustain yourself and deal with your family with minimal interaction. The former is possible but not so easy to find. The latter is likely very hard without breaking ties, which I do not recommend.

I personally think humans suck. Big time! ... but being lonely sucks a lot more and our furry family doesn't share our life expectancy unfortunately. We may hate to think about it but they will pass away at one point and then you'd be completely alone.

Family might not be great now but could be just what you'll need then.
 
I can separate two main things from your current predicament ...

One, you miss your pawed partner when you're away from her. That's great! I don't doubt that she misses you too. It's telling for how much you value and love each other. Missing each other sucks at the time but you can also learn to see it as a good thing. Think about how you will spend the time together when you are back at home.

The second thing I seem to pick up on is that you don't like to be around people. That being a part of a human society is a constant struggle for you. It might help to see this as something separate from the first thing, because then you can consider how you want to handle this by itself.

As to how to handle it, I really can't tell. I don't know you or your circumstances well enough. But it sounds to me that you need to find a way to either get along with humans better or find a way to sustain yourself and deal with your family with minimal interaction. The former is possible but not so easy to find. The latter is likely very hard without breaking ties, which I do not recommend.

I personally think humans suck. Big time! ... but being lonely sucks a lot more and our furry family doesn't share our life expectancy unfortunately. We may hate to think about it but they will pass away at one point and then you'd be completely alone.

Family might not be great now but could be just what you'll need then.
I do interact with people fairly often even if i don't really like it, im aware that i shouldn't completely ostracise myself from other humans but it is very tiresome being around them.

And in all fairness when i am home i feel absolutely relaxed, cook up some steak for me and my girl and i honestly forget i was even away.

I might just be acting like a spoled brat here when i read back over my posts but that doesn't really change how i feel, therapy might be the way to go but that'll be hard to organise when i live rurally.

I don't intend to go homeless by the way as I'm aware at how much of a struggle that will cause for my girl
 
That's why they sell so much Xanax, crack and moonshine over there.
Xanax and moonshine aren't really a problem her in aus but the crack definitely is.

I have no interest in taking any medication though, prescription or otherwise.
Although i might have too until i can get work where im not away from her the majority of the year.
 
Dude, just accept your situation and freaking move on. Embrace being alone and work, no one can escape the way of the world.

Now if you need help, go get it, otherwise move on.
 
I don't have much to say that others haven't, but I can sympathize with the frustration.
I don't know the details, but for the night you can't take her with is there an option to review that as a necessary trip? Given your limited time, people might be willing to make concessions if you're using a good portion of your only freetime helping others at the expense of how you would prefer to spend your time?
 
I don't have much to say that others haven't, but I can sympathize with the frustration.
I don't know the details, but for the night you can't take her with is there an option to review that as a necessary trip? Given your limited time, people might be willing to make concessions if you're using a good portion of your only freetime helping others at the expense of how you would prefer to spend your time?
In all honesty the hotel room was booked for me before i even knew what was happening so i'm guessing that they want me around for at least 2 days and know that if i come up with my dog ill just drive home that night instead of paying to stay at a caravan park.

I know i have to go to this thing thats happening so im trying to get over my shit but im struggling.

I've settled on the idea that i may have to see a therapist, ive been working away for years now and ive only started getting this fucked up in the head recently.

I'm struggling to understand why I've got such bad separation anxiety after no real change in lifestyle
 
Imo I spent every day with mine so I know this feeling of being dependent on her. The best thing I can suggest is look for her well-being in the very end of things. What will make her most content since she is your world I'm pretty sure you want to fulfill her happyness
 
I've settled on the idea that i may have to see a therapist, ive been working away for years now and ive only started getting this fucked up in the head recently.

There's some stigma to it, but honestly I think most people should see a therapist at least a few times in their life, especially any time they are dealing with significant conflicts. Having friends to talk to helps, but a professional is trained to help teach us the tools to manage things in more productive ways than we may have figured out on our own; think of them more as a consultant for difficult problems. It's important to find one you're comfortable with and if not, find another; a good therapist should feel like talking to a trusted, non-judgemental friend who just wants to help you help yourself.


Maybe you can find ways to bring her with you? There are a surprising amount of hotels that will allow well behaved dogs for a room cleaning fee. You can always call the front desk and ask.

That's what I was getting at; bring her along if at all possible. Maybe plan a short camping trip or the like to coincide for future events.
 
Yeh there was nothing i could really do to cancel the trip or bring her with me but i was able to cut it short at least.
Booked her in for a vet check up early the next day so we had to leave straight away the following day instead of hanging around.
I know this was underhanded but i dont care, i want my time with her.
Besides im back at work now so my cycle of cooe begins again.
 
Yeh there was nothing i could really do to cancel the trip or bring her with me but i was able to cut it short at least.
Booked her in for a vet check up early the next day so we had to leave straight away the following day instead of hanging around.
I know this was underhanded but i dont care, i want my time with her.
Besides im back at work now so my cycle of cooe begins again.
What matters is your and her health. Together
 
Ill have a look at online therapy while im away this time, hopefully ill find something affordable.
As for my dog her internal health is 100%, the vets are alway quite impressed with her demeanour as well so thats good, ill just think about that while i work.

Thanks for the help dudes.
 
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