do you guys think it’s wrong of me to hide this lifestyle from my boyfriend?

dogbait

dogbait

Tourist
i’m not rly asking for actual advice but i’ve been thinking about this for a while and feel the need to talk about it!

i’ve been with my boyfriend for a while and i love him so much, i really wanna marry him in the future but i have to hide this side of me from him because he’s so, SOO against the idea of zoos. he says some nasty stuff about it a lot and has said so many times if he knew a zoo or was friends w one he’d report them to the police - and i’m just kind of sitting there pretending that i’m not a zoo in secret. i’ve never had any irl zoo experiences and i’m still trying to have one but having to hide it and sneak around my bf is exhausting, constantly erasing my porn history and only accessing this site thru incognito windows.

does that make me a bad person or am i just keeping myself safe?
 
I definitely don't think your a bad person but if it's something you really want you might want to consider if your BF is the right person for you. I know you said you been with him awhile and I'm sure your have feelings for him bit if he feels so strongly about the subject I would be scared if he ever did find out and if it were me that would really scare me.

It's a total secret for me to but I've never even had anyone in my life bring this lifestyle up so if he is already so negative on the subject that's a huge red flag for me

Just be careful and stay safe!
 
I had a similar experience, only I was that bf. My gf at the time would joke about sexual things, but kept things interesting in the bedroom. I had lots of hard limits at the time, but the doggy sex thing became funny. She would joke about "at least they can't get me pregant" and that "it's not cheating is its not human".

She insisted we get a puppy, and that it's not fair to snip the boy, as he was supposed to grow and be an alpha one day. I didn't know that the moment he was old enough she was playing with him. It was amongst a deep super charged sexual discussion in bed.. That she mentioned she's played with a puppy before. She made sure I was desperately in need of cumming it, seemed as she described all sorts of "depravity".

It took a long time, but she won, and I've never been without a "good boy" since... Funny neither has she
 
SweetEvie said:
I definitely don't think your a bad person but if it's something you really want you might want to consider if your BF is the right person for you. I know you said you been with him awhile and I'm sure your have feelings for him bit if he feels so strongly about the subject I would be scared if he ever did find out and if it were me that would really scare me.

It's a total secret for me to but I've never even had anyone in my life bring this lifestyle up so if he is already so negative on the subject that's a huge red flag for me

Just be careful and stay safe!
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i simply love him too much to leave is the only thing. he’s my person, like i just know i’m going to marry him! i just wish he understood that this lifestyle isn’t bad and evil like he thinks
 
Wetterthbetter said:
I had a similar experience, only I was that bf. My gf at the time would joke about sexual things, but kept things interesting in the bedroom. I had lots of hard limits at the time, but the doggy sex thing became funny. She would joke about "at least they can't get me pregant" and that "it's not cheating is its not human".

She insisted we get a puppy, and that it's not fair to snip the boy, as he was supposed to grow and be an alpha one day. I didn't know that the moment he was old enough she was playing with him. It was amongst a deep super charged sexual discussion in bed.. That she mentioned she's played with a puppy before. She made sure I was desperately in need of cumming it, seemed as she described all sorts of "depravity".

It took a long time, but she won, and I've never been without a "good boy" since... Funny neither has she
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i wish i could convince him like that! if he just got rid of the prejudice he has against zoos i’m pretty sure he’d find it enjoyable in all honesty, he just has this idea in his head that we’re all bad people
 
dogbait said:
i simply love him too much to leave is the only thing. he’s my person, like i just know i’m going to marry him! i just wish he understood that this lifestyle isn’t bad and evil like he thinks
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Totally understand that view point and it's such a hard situation to be in I honestly don't know what u would do in your situation
 
dogbait said:
i’m not rly asking for actual advice but i’ve been thinking about this for a while and feel the need to talk about it!

i’ve been with my boyfriend for a while and i love him so much, i really wanna marry him in the future but i have to hide this side of me from him because he’s so, SOO against the idea of zoos. he says some nasty stuff about it a lot and has said so many times if he knew a zoo or was friends w one he’d report them to the police - and i’m just kind of sitting there pretending that i’m not a zoo in secret. i’ve never had any irl zoo experiences and i’m still trying to have one but having to hide it and sneak around my bf is exhausting, constantly erasing my porn history and only accessing this site thru incognito windows.

does that make me a bad person or am i just keeping myself safe?
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If he say its it nasty and report friend doing it. Best say nothing an keep it save and an Secrets. Best.... So its just some things if its agains ppl and law in jou country. Be save and secrets stay An Secret madam DogBait.... So dont tel no one.. Not even Besty friends
 
Reconscope said:
Its not wrong to hide it. But its wrong WE have to hide it since the public despises love based things
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definitely. i feel guilty for hiding it even though i have to but i wish it wasn’t shameful and frowned upon to have this kind of attraction so that we didn’t have to keep it a secret
 
dogbait said:
i wish i could convince him like that! if he just got rid of the prejudice he has against zoos i’m pretty sure he’d find it enjoyable in all honesty, he just has this idea in his head that we’re all bad people
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the more he's against it, the more he might be fighting internally with his own interests...but it takes time and trust
 
dogbait said:
definitely. i feel guilty for hiding it even though i have to but i wish it wasn’t shameful and frowned upon to have this kind of attraction so that we didn’t have to keep it a secret
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Honestly keeping it a secret is too much for me at this point if someone just asked me all ill say is "we are close but not saying more"
 
Wetterthbetter said:
the more he's against it, the more he might be fighting internally with his own interests...but it takes time and trust
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i thought that too at first! i keep trying to subtly bring it up to him, asking stuff like “hey if fucking dogs was legal do you think you’d do it just to try it?” and “if it wasn’t ‘morally wrong’ to have relationships with animals do u think it’d be normal?” because i wanna try and see how he’d feel! but most times he’s disgusted and thinks that anyone who would do that is vile, which sucks
 
dogbait said:
i thought that too at first! i keep trying to subtly bring it up to him, asking stuff like “hey if fucking dogs was legal do you think you’d do it just to try it?” and “if it wasn’t ‘morally wrong’ to have relationships with animals do u think it’d be normal?” because i wanna try and see how he’d feel! but most times he’s disgusted and thinks that anyone who would do that is vile, which sucks
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Not exactly that blunt. However just hint your close to him but if he screams DOG FUCKER HERE. All you said was your close to your k9 companion.

Your boyfriend isnt really your boyfriend if he cant accept you
 
dogbait said:
i thought that too at first! i keep trying to subtly bring it up to him, asking stuff like “hey if fucking dogs was legal do you think you’d do it just to try it?” and “if it wasn’t ‘morally wrong’ to have relationships with animals do u think it’d be normal?” because i wanna try and see how he’d feel! but most times he’s disgusted and thinks that anyone who would do that is vile, which sucks
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There's a chance he's afraid of giving the wrong answer, or pretending it's so wrong he doesn't get judged. If you said your fine with it, that at least the girls that do get cleaned up after, or their probably better lovers since they can't talk back.. Make it light hearted and joking...
 
Wetterthbetter said:
There's a chance he's afraid of giving the wrong answer, or pretending it's so wrong he doesn't get judged. If you said your fine with it, that at least the girls that do get cleaned up after, or their probably better lovers since they can't talk back.. Make it light hearted and joking...
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maybe! i was thinking of joking about how dogs don’t care that we’re trans lol that’s one of the things i love anyways, dogs won’t judge me or misgender me for being a trans man so i wanted to drop that in conversation to see how it goes? he loves using my knot dildo and likes using it on me so idk why he’s so against a real knot lol
 
waarom170 said:
Whatever you do dont tell him. So either keep it secret forever and take it to the grave or decide you need to be able to open up about this and break up to find someone else who does share this.
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unless he hints someday that he’s into it i’m never telling him. i try to give hints and then if he’s grossed out i play it off as a joke but i don’t think i’ll ever actually admit it to him
 
dogbait said:
maybe! i was thinking of joking about how dogs don’t care that we’re trans lol that’s one of the things i love anyways, dogs won’t judge me or misgender me for being a trans man so i wanted to drop that in conversation to see how it goes? he loves using my knot dildo and likes using it on me so idk why he’s so against a real knot lol
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Does he actually know what the dildo is a shape of?

Regardless don't expose yourself too much, but taking that first step might help, lighthearted and joking about it... Anyways he uses a "knot" on you already 😉
 
Wetterthbetter said:
Does he actually know what the dildo is a shape of?

Regardless don't expose yourself too much, but taking that first step might help, lighthearted and joking about it... Anyways he uses a "knot" on you already 😉
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yeah, he helped me pick which one to buy and the title literally said wolf/dog knot dildo and he didn’t care…? but if i bring up a real dog knot he’s like ew ew ew nooooo ???

at least he can use the knot dildo on me tho ! i can still get knotted even if it’s not the real thing (even tho i’m trying to sneak around and find the real thing behind his back 😬)
 
No it's not wrong. Personally i believe it's better to keep it in secret from significant other, especially if they are against it, as you say. Though if it feels like cheating... Cruel words but you gotta choose do you lve your bhuman partner more, or an animal partner. If zoo is rather the kink... I'd go for a human
 
As a 25+ veteran of marriage, you would be right to keep it to yourself. Being "your person" does not mean that you have to share every thought, desire or activity with him (or her for that matter). I am actively bisexual and have enjoyed bestiality, but I know my wife would not share those interests, so the choice for me has always been to keep that part of my life separate. She enjoys watching sappy Hallmark movies, which I hate. I don't want her to stop, so we watch separately. Marriage works best when you compliment each other, but do not have to be involved in all of the same things. Just my 2 cents...
 
I think if he's this diametrically opposed, your marriage won't last. Either, you'll resent him for blocking your kinkiness, or him not allowing you to be your true self, or you'll have zoo experiences and he'll catch you or deduce that it happens. If you really like this guy, you need to get him on board, or break up with him. If you get divorced years later over zoo experiences, he is going to feel like he wasted years of life. Not trying to be mean, I'm speaking from years of experience being married.
 
Smokin5150 said:
As a 25+ veteran of marriage, you would be right to keep it to yourself. Being "your person" does not mean that you have to share every thought, desire or activity with him (or her for that matter). I am actively bisexual and have enjoyed bestiality, but I know my wife would not share those interests, so the choice for me has always been to keep that part of my life separate. She enjoys watching sappy Hallmark movies, which I hate. I don't want her to stop, so we watch separately. Marriage works best when you compliment each other, but do not have to be involved in all of the same things. Just my 2 cents...
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thank you! this does make sense, and i’m honestly totally fine with keeping our interests separate i’m just feeling kinda guilty because of how disgusted he is by it :( this made me feel less stressed though bc it was good getting advice from someone whose partner also isn’t a zoo so it gave me some good perspective !
 
Smokin5150 said:
As a 25+ veteran of marriage, you would be right to keep it to yourself. Being "your person" does not mean that you have to share every thought, desire or activity with him (or her for that matter). I am actively bisexual and have enjoyed bestiality, but I know my wife would not share those interests, so the choice for me has always been to keep that part of my life separate. She enjoys watching sappy Hallmark movies, which I hate. I don't want her to stop, so we watch separately. Marriage works best when you compliment each other, but do not have to be involved in all of the same things. Just my 2 cents...
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Damn your too deep in.
 
dogbait said:
thank you! this does make sense, and i’m honestly totally fine with keeping our interests separate i’m just feeling kinda guilty because of how disgusted he is by it :( this made me feel less stressed though bc it was good getting advice from someone whose partner also isn’t a zoo so it gave me some good perspective !
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For mental health sake i would keep it as truthful as possible.
 
Are used to be able to keep it a secret From my human partners. But these days I find I can’t I’m fairly upfront about it in a subtle way. I wish you luck and hope you make the right decision
 
I know the situation you're in. I'm in sorta "similar" situation, only that she "doesn't judge me" but still doesn't want it in her life either mine. I don't think you're a bad person if you're just being... you, i mean... like other people said, you will not share actually EVERYTHING with your significant other, sometimes it's about acceptance, which is really hard to find in people according to how closed their minds are.

I feel you for needing to keep it that hide from him, same happens to me lol, deleting browsing history or well trying to not be "too obvious" is hard sometimes, then you start to develop ways to avoid getting caught, still stressing though
 
Your a good person and a kind one too,
You think of others which proves it , but to make someone happy you have to be happy yourself. It is hard to have two Loves
But you have to be who you are or you will always live in fear .Maybe try and give one One up and see where it takes you.
 
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