Deep quotes you heard or made up?

"Given how anti-zoos are constantly proclaiming that animals are so stupid that they cannot consent, that they are so shallow that they cannot reciprocate relationships, and that their bodies are so disgusting that nobody could possibly be attracted to them, I sometimes wonder if the heart of their rhetoric is more anti-animal than actually 'anti-zoophile'."
 
"Metaphorically speaking, if is the smallest word in the standard lexicon, yet it stands between us and our greatest dreams."
 
"I am death. And I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically, or theoretically, or in another other false way. I'm death. Straight up."
 
A cows thoughts on breast feeding.

Darling do you have to head butt me so hard? I'm not a coffee machine you know! I have to make the milk first my son!
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"Luck is anything but a lady. More like a two-faced trollop who will stab you in the back and break your heart when you least expect it.”
 
“Wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring.
 
“I will rather be happy than be right”
‘are you happy then ?’
”thats where it all falls apart”
Slartibartfast and Arthur Dent, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
 
"Firearms are for fighting genuine monsters, not human beings, even though the former have an annoying tendency to be bulletproof."
 
"Firearms are for fighting genuine monsters, not human beings, even though the former have an annoying tendency to be bulletproof."
I was sure you were going to say "even though the former have an annoying tendency to be the latter."

Perhaps with those bulletproof monsters a nice spot of home made lemonade and some chocolate cake might help relieve tensions, because they are probably just misunderstood. And if that doesn't work there is always that RPG you have hidden under the table.
 
"If the continum has told you once, they've told you a thousand times. DON'T PROVOKE THE BORG!"
 
"Firearms are for fighting genuine monsters, not human beings, even though the former have an annoying tendency to be bulletproof."
I have the perfect quote to go with that:

"Fr'instance.... How am I gonna stop some mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind?

The answer.... Use a gun. And if that don't work.... Use more gun."
~ The Engineer, Team Fortress 2
 
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