Confessing my zoo side to my closest friend

I

itdoesnotmatter

Tourist
First i want to thank all of you guys and this community and forum, i am not very active (i plan to change that), but all the stories and thoughts on a lot of topics got me thinking about things, and im pretty sure that i wouldnt have ''confessed'' to my friend, and thus making my life easier if it wasnt for this place.

I'm not even sure why i'm writing this or if it even matters, but i decided to do it since similar threads got me building the balls to do it in the first place, so maybe i may inspire someone (for good or bad) to try their luck.

It all started with me reading quite a lot similar stories here on the forums, some with good and some with bad outcomes, and having a good opportunity with my best friend of around 17 years. So the opportunity that i had that particular night (we have a few of those every month or two, since we live in different cities), was that we were quite drunk already (on 2-3 whiskies) and suddenly he came up with a story of a friend of his (a guy we were both very close with during our childhood, but was/is too toxic and i kinda dropped him out of my life for good), in which story that guy decided to confess to him that when he was 14-15 he fucked another guy when they were out on a picnic or something in the woods. So this story of this guy kinda caught me off guard as i never in my life had a thought about him(or his fuck partner) were BI-sexual since they are now married/have kids/long rships with girls etc. But this got me thinking of myself and my sexual orientation as a zoo, and after some giggling and joking about that other guy, i started asking my best friend why did he snitch on that other guy and would he do the same with me for example, but he explained that he told only me since im his closest friend and he knows im not gonna tell anyone else. A few minutes in i decided its time to strike and with very heavy breathing and scared AF i spilled it out(i remember that moment as i knew that even a crazy ass long friendship as ours may be broken if he has enough prejudices).
At first he thought it was a huge ass joke on my side, but after a few mins he finally grasped that i wasnt fucking around at all and i am dead serious (even tho he kelp laughing his ass off and making me laugh uncontrollably as well, but oh well i guess that made it a little easier for me). After a long conversation about my orientation (im straight and only interested in mares/bitches in regard to my zoo-sexuality, in non-zoo sexuality im straight as well and have a 6yrs relationship (im 24 years old)), and after realizing that i dont sexually harass/fuck small animals that i shouldn't(like chicken cats etc)/do animals without consent etc, he was kinda shocked because he said to me that even tho he saw some animal related porn as a kid he never gave much thoughts to zoophilia as a whole.
I am writing this now but it happened a few months ago, like 8-9, im not very sure, but as an outcome my life really changed drastically since having at least one human being irl knowing about this and understanding me (especially my bestie). I often talk with him about this sexuality of mine and it doesnt feel like a taboo conversation at all. He likes joking on me from times to times but im not rly offended or anything as i know that hes just fucking around for the laughs.

Me being me of course i also started asking him about the possibilities of him trying it out as well, and hes like ''if im rly desperate id give it a shot i guess lmao why not'' (note that we had a threesome with a girl once). Im still not sure if hes just fucking around on that matter or not, i guess i need to have a bitch in heat handy first to really get to know if he would really try it lol.

Sometimes we are really diving deep into that conversation about my sexuality and let me tell you, having someone to speak about it freely is a game changer.
Even after all of this tho, i still think it is very risky and not worth it to come up to most people. I knew hes a very open minded person and maybe that helped me a lot in actually spilling it out.

I've thought of coming up to my girl as well but he and i both think that it would be quite a dumb idea on my side to do it, since she wouldnt like the idea at all, so for this particular part of my life im not gonna do it (and i plan to never really do it but things may change who knows).

If any of you thats reading this ever tries to do it as well (like how i was impacted by other peoples stories on this matter), i still think its quite the huge risk huge reward but if you know the person well enough, doesnt matter if its ur friend/gf/bf/wife/family member/etc, better look for an open minded person and be ready for the negative outcome ( i.e. i knew that he wouldnt rat me out, hes just not like that, even if he found me too cringe and ended our long friendship).
 
That's an awesome story. Congrats on coming out! It can seriously be relieving to have someone know who you are. And you're absolutely right on coming out to people being open minded. My ex girlfriend wasn't open minded, and I knew that, but still decided to come out to her anyway. That didn't go so well and we broke up weeks later. However, I've come out to multiple other people who I knew were open minded and accepting, including my current girlfriend. All still have a great relationship with. However like you said, it still does come with some risk. But if you have the opportunity and know they'll take it well, I think it's definitely worth it. :)
 
@TeslaModel3
Thanks for the answer and sorry for that bad experience of yours!
I've always seen the difference between coming out to a friend vs coming out to a partner is very different, maybe because a partner is sharing a bed with you while the friend wouldnt care what holes u poke, and this thing by itself drastically differs the outcomes usually imo. IE my friend on the topic was like ''i dont mind you fucking a bitch or a mare since it doesnt have much to do with me, but id really be bugged knowing my gf/wife is being fucked by an animal'' ( i think he grasps it as a cheat and would be jealous just like if another guy fucked his girl). So yea this is one of the reasons i wouldn't come up with my zoo-sexuality to my gf. But that of course on the other hand leads to a life full of lies which is not pretty either....

On the other hand, when you come out to more and more people, how do you overcome the fear of one of them just ratting you and all of a sudden your life is ruined?
 
itdoesnotmatter said:
First i want to thank all of you guys and this community and forum, i am not very active (i plan to change that), but all the stories and thoughts on a lot of topics got me thinking about things, and im pretty sure that i wouldnt have ''confessed'' to my friend, and thus making my life easier if it wasnt for this place.

I'm not even sure why i'm writing this or if it even matters, but i decided to do it since similar threads got me building the balls to do it in the first place, so maybe i may inspire someone (for good or bad) to try their luck.

It all started with me reading quite a lot similar stories here on the forums, some with good and some with bad outcomes, and having a good opportunity with my best friend of around 17 years. So the opportunity that i had that particular night (we have a few of those every month or two, since we live in different cities), was that we were quite drunk already (on 2-3 whiskies) and suddenly he came up with a story of a friend of his (a guy we were both very close with during our childhood, but was/is too toxic and i kinda dropped him out of my life for good), in which story that guy decided to confess to him that when he was 14-15 he fucked another guy when they were out on a picnic or something in the woods. So this story of this guy kinda caught me off guard as i never in my life had a thought about him(or his fuck partner) were BI-sexual since they are now married/have kids/long rships with girls etc. But this got me thinking of myself and my sexual orientation as a zoo, and after some giggling and joking about that other guy, i started asking my best friend why did he snitch on that other guy and would he do the same with me for example, but he explained that he told only me since im his closest friend and he knows im not gonna tell anyone else. A few minutes in i decided its time to strike and with very heavy breathing and scared AF i spilled it out(i remember that moment as i knew that even a crazy ass long friendship as ours may be broken if he has enough prejudices).
At first he thought it was a huge ass joke on my side, but after a few mins he finally grasped that i wasnt fucking around at all and i am dead serious (even tho he kelp laughing his ass off and making me laugh uncontrollably as well, but oh well i guess that made it a little easier for me). After a long conversation about my orientation (im straight and only interested in mares/bitches in regard to my zoo-sexuality, in non-zoo sexuality im straight as well and have a 6yrs relationship (im 24 years old)), and after realizing that i dont sexually harass/fuck small animals that i shouldn't(like chicken cats etc)/do animals without consent etc, he was kinda shocked because he said to me that even tho he saw some animal related porn as a kid he never gave much thoughts to zoophilia as a whole.
I am writing this now but it happened a few months ago, like 8-9, im not very sure, but as an outcome my life really changed drastically since having at least one human being irl knowing about this and understanding me (especially my bestie). I often talk with him about this sexuality of mine and it doesnt feel like a taboo conversation at all. He likes joking on me from times to times but im not rly offended or anything as i know that hes just fucking around for the laughs.

Me being me of course i also started asking him about the possibilities of him trying it out as well, and hes like ''if im rly desperate id give it a shot i guess lmao why not'' (note that we had a threesome with a girl once). Im still not sure if hes just fucking around on that matter or not, i guess i need to have a bitch in heat handy first to really get to know if he would really try it lol.

Sometimes we are really diving deep into that conversation about my sexuality and let me tell you, having someone to speak about it freely is a game changer.
Even after all of this tho, i still think it is very risky and not worth it to come up to most people. I knew hes a very open minded person and maybe that helped me a lot in actually spilling it out.

I've thought of coming up to my girl as well but he and i both think that it would be quite a dumb idea on my side to do it, since she wouldnt like the idea at all, so for this particular part of my life im not gonna do it (and i plan to never really do it but things may change who knows).

If any of you thats reading this ever tries to do it as well (like how i was impacted by other peoples stories on this matter), i still think its quite the huge risk huge reward but if you know the person well enough, doesnt matter if its ur friend/gf/bf/wife/family member/etc, better look for an open minded person and be ready for the negative outcome ( i.e. i knew that he wouldnt rat me out, hes just not like that, even if he found me too cringe and ended our long friendship).
Click to expand...
The "risk" is mitigated by your level of independence, the security of your career, and how much spine you have. Eventually, many zoos that prefer to come out will have to learn how to stand up to self-righteous jack mules.

Congratulations to you and your friend, though.
 
@SigmatoZeta
Ive always considered myself (and most people do as well) as a guy that stands his ground and i dont really like when someone is abusing another person/animal etc. I also am a bit of a jerk and a semi self-righteous jack mule as u state it but when it comes to religion, im really bashing people for their religious(im a crazy atheist) beliefs irl quite often even tho i feel its wrong sometimes.
But even if i consider myself tough as nails (and no i dont), even then i feel like if someone decides to tell all my close people/family etc he would really fuck my whole life up.
 
itdoesnotmatter said:
@TeslaModel3
On the other hand, when you come out to more and more people, how do you overcome the fear of one of them just ratting you and all of a sudden your life is ruined?
Click to expand...

To be completely honest, it is still a slight worry, but remember there is always plausible deniability. The first time I came out to one of my good friends, I was stressing out for like two weeks worried that they'll rat me out or something. Luckily that didn't happen, and he's still one of my greatest friends. It's become less severe of a fear with the more people I come out to, but it's definitely still there. In don't think that feeling of initial fear after coming out will just magically disappear. However like I said, there is always plausible deniability. Unless they have an audio recording of you coming out to them, you can most likely very well just deny that you said something to them in case word spreads around. I've been bullied a lot in my life in elementary school, middle school, and high school, so maybe its just that I'm used to dealing with rumors. But anyways, what also helps keep me calm now is the realization that just being zoo isn't illegal in almost any place. Acting on it may be depending on where you are, but just being zoo will likely not get you into any legal trouble, especially if you can brush it off and just call it a crazy made up rumor.
 
@TeslaModel3
It sure sounds like a good escape route, but when such a word spreads and i live with a bunch of great danes and all of them ''happens'' to be female, then bashing the rumors off becomes really hard.
And then theres the reason i wouldnt tell way too much people(or people that im not 99.99% sure of) is that you still live with that slight fear as u state it, but i never felt such a fear, like i stated in the first post, i knew that my friend may slowly end our friendship, if he couldnt accept me as a zoo, but wouldnt rat on me. I respect your decision and just wanted to say that i wouldnt ever tell someone that would then make me wonder at night if im gonna be fucked tomorrow.
 
itdoesnotmatter said:
@SigmatoZeta
Ive always considered myself (and most people do as well) as a guy that stands his ground and i dont really like when someone is abusing another person/animal etc. I also am a bit of a jerk and a semi self-righteous jack mule as u state it but when it comes to religion, im really bashing people for their religious(im a crazy atheist) beliefs irl quite often even tho i feel its wrong sometimes.
But even if i consider myself tough as nails (and no i dont), even then i feel like if someone decides to tell all my close people/family etc he would really fuck my whole life up.
Click to expand...
As I have gotten older, I have become more tolerant toward religious people because I have found them to be more diverse than I had previously anticipated. I still sometimes annoy one of them by being honest about my opinions, but I am not trying to be mean. I just feel I owe it to a friend to be honest about what I think.
 
The only reason i would approve religion is because it has a god-fearing effect on many religious people, and stripping that off by proving to them somehow that their god doesnt exist(and thus they wouldnt be judged by him), would make the world a worse place in a snap. Im pretty sure a lot of people avoid doing quite some bad things because of fear of god or because it is contradictory to their religion, so maybe thats one of the very few things religion gives to humanity, but oh boy does it come with way too many downsides as well ( and of course defying zoos being one of them).
 
itdoesnotmatter said:
The only reason i would approve religion is because it has a god-fearing effect on many religious people, and stripping that off by proving to them somehow that their god doesnt exist(and thus they wouldnt be judged by him), would make the world a worse place in a snap. Im pretty sure a lot of people avoid doing quite some bad things because of fear of god or because it is contradictory to their religion, so maybe thats one of the very few things religion gives to humanity, but oh boy does it come with way too many downsides as well ( and of course defying zoos being one of them).
Click to expand...
I have come to believe that even my atheistic philosophy constitutes a sort of religion, and I am now convinced that it shares common descent with proto-Christian philosophy.

The Stoic school of philosophy is a part of my beliefs, and it is proto-Christian. Stoicism itself is descended from Cynicism, which was the prototype for the system that was used by medieval Christian friars and monks: Cynicism was the original "hair shirt" cult but had a hippie-like edge and included a lot of gross animal-like behaviors. Stoicism was more moderate and was popular among educated Greeks and Romans.

Epicureanism was descended from the early atomist schools, though, and in the long-run, I am more of a follower of the ancient atomists. In fact, Titus Lucretius, himself, was one of the original critics of religion:

I fear perhaps thou deemest that we fare​
An impious road to realms of thought profane;​
But 'tis that same religion oftener far​
Hath bred the foul impieties of men:​
As once at Aulis, the elected chiefs,​
Foremost of heroes, Danaan counsellors,​
Defiled Diana's altar, virgin queen,​
With Agamemnon's daughter, foully slain.​
She felt the chaplet round her maiden locks​
And fillets, fluttering down on either cheek,​
And at the altar marked her grieving sire,​
The priests beside him who concealed the knife,​
And all the folk in tears at sight of her.​
With a dumb terror and a sinking knee​
She dropped; nor might avail her now that first​
'Twas she who gave the king a father's name.​
They raised her up, they bore the trembling girl​
On to the altar- hither led not now​
With solemn rites and hymeneal choir,​
But sinless woman, sinfully foredone,​
A parent felled her on her bridal day,​
Making his child a sacrificial beast​
To give the ships auspicious winds for Troy:​
Such are the crimes to which Religion leads.​

Or you could attempt to memorize the Latin version if you want to be a smartass, although it took me forever to get the pronunciation right because of such odd differences as the fact that the v was pronounced like we pronounce the letter w but with less of a drawl and the fact that the letter c is sometimes pronounced like ch as in "cha cha cha":
​

Ultimately, it makes little difference whether you speak it in English or Latin: Lucretius hated religious superstition and regarded it as the primary source of the majority of the world's suffering.

However, the Stoics could also have secular humanist views, and they were the progenitors of the modern idea that we ought to stand up for social justice and equality. That is a set of ideals that does have meaning to me, and it is a set of ideals in which I concur with the more liberal Christians in my company.

I feel that I have one paw in Stoicism and the other in Epicureanism.

I cannot really find mortal fault with either.

Epicureanism seeks to make people learn a better way to live by exposing the superstitions that make them do irrational things that are not really good for them and not really as good for each other as they think. I agree that there is a place for this.

My more Stoic sensibilities, though, make me sympathetic with some of the more universal beliefs of Christians. In fact, it is the same Stoic beliefs, which make me feel a sense of common cause with many Christians, that makes me feel driven as a pro-zoo activist.

One part of me says that I can fight against injustice by proving how injustice is not really rational and really does nothing to serve us.

The other part of me is more focused on the fact that injustice is ugly, abrasive, and generally an offense to aesthetic principles.

One is logical.

The other is emotional.

My mind is Epicurean.

My heart is Stoic.

The reason why I can sometimes get along very well with Christians is that, while my mind could never agree with them, my heart is really very close to theirs. I think that injustice and excessive persecution against downtrodden classes, even people who have actually done wrong or might do wrong, is really hideously ugly. I regard it as foul for a person who has commited and gotten away with worse harm, which it is not possible to prosecute them for, to pretend that they are pure and holy when criticizing someone that has run afoul of an excessive or unjust law. When I see a mob armed with stones they are ready to throw at the accused, I feel the call, in my heart, to ask each of them to reflect on their own trespasses against others, which they may never have gotten accused over but which made the lives of others even more broken than the crimes of the accused, and I would suggest that any of them that has not done worse than the supposed crimes of the accused should hurl the first stone. For Christians, this sentiment was original to their Messiah, but to me, the same sentiment came from Diogenes of Sinope, who may himself have been inspired by the gymnosophists of India.

Epicureanism, though, is the lifeblood of scientific thought. In fact, Lucretius anticipated many of the discoveries attributed to Newton. My opinion is that if you believe that science and reason can save the human race, then deep down, at least a part of you is Epicurean, even if indirectly. While Epicurean only resonates with a part of me, nothing else really works well for that part of me.
 
Last edited:
SigmatoZeta said:
I have come to believe that even my atheistic philosophy constitutes a sort of religion, and I am now convinced that it shares common descent with proto-Christian philosophy.

The Stoic school of philosophy is a part of my beliefs, and it is proto-Christian. Stoicism itself is descended from Cynicism, which was the prototype for the system that was used by medieval Christian friars and monks: Cynicism was the original "hair shirt" cult but had a hippie-like edge and included a lot of gross animal-like behaviors. Stoicism was more moderate and was popular among educated Greeks and Romans.

Epicureanism was descended from the early atomist schools, though, and in the long-run, I am more of a follower of the ancient atomists. In fact, Titus Lucretius, himself, was one of the original critics of religion:

I fear perhaps thou deemest that we fare​
An impious road to realms of thought profane;​
But 'tis that same religion oftener far​
Hath bred the foul impieties of men:​
As once at Aulis, the elected chiefs,​
Foremost of heroes, Danaan counsellors,​
Defiled Diana's altar, virgin queen,​
With Agamemnon's daughter, foully slain.​
She felt the chaplet round her maiden locks​
And fillets, fluttering down on either cheek,​
And at the altar marked her grieving sire,​
The priests beside him who concealed the knife,​
And all the folk in tears at sight of her.​
With a dumb terror and a sinking knee​
She dropped; nor might avail her now that first​
'Twas she who gave the king a father's name.​
They raised her up, they bore the trembling girl​
On to the altar- hither led not now​
With solemn rites and hymeneal choir,​
But sinless woman, sinfully foredone,​
A parent felled her on her bridal day,​
Making his child a sacrificial beast​
To give the ships auspicious winds for Troy:​
Such are the crimes to which Religion leads.​

Or you could attempt to memorize the Latin version if you want to be a smartass, although it took me forever to get the pronunciation right because of such odd differences as the fact that the v was pronounced like we pronounce the letter w but with less of a drawl and the fact that the letter c is sometimes pronounced like ch as in "cha cha cha":
​

Ultimately, it makes little difference whether you speak it in English or Latin: Lucretius hated religious superstition and regarded it as the primary source of the majority of the world's suffering.

However, the Stoics could also have secular humanist views, and they were the progenitors of the modern idea that we ought to stand up for social justice and equality. That is a set of ideals that does have meaning to me, and it is a set of ideals in which I concur with the more liberal Christians in my company.

I feel that I have one paw in Stoicism and the other in Epicureanism.

I cannot really find mortal fault with either.

Epicureanism seeks to make people learn a better way to live by exposing the superstitions that make them do irrational things that are not really good for them and not really as good for each other as they think. I agree that there is a place for this.

My more Stoic sensibilities, though, make me sympathetic with some of the more universal beliefs of Christians. In fact, it is the same Stoic beliefs, which make me feel a sense of common cause with many Christians, that makes me feel driven as a pro-zoo activist.

One part of me says that I can fight against injustice by proving how injustice is not really rational and really does nothing to serve us.

The other part of me is more focused on the fact that injustice is ugly, abrasive, and generally an offense to aesthetic principles.

One is logical.

The other is emotional.

My mind is Epicurean.

My heart is Stoic.

The reason why I can sometimes get along very well with Christians is that, while my mind could never agree with them, my heart is really very close to theirs. I think that injustice and excessive persecution against downtrodden classes, even people who have actually done wrong or might do wrong, is really hideously ugly. I regard it as foul for a person who has commited and gotten away with worse harm, which it is not possible to prosecute them for, to pretend that they are pure and holy when criticizing someone that has run afoul of an excessive or unjust law. When I see a mob armed with stones they are ready to throw at the accused, I feel the call, in my heart, to ask each of them to reflect on their own trespasses against others, which they may never have gotten accused over but which made the lives of others even more broken than the crimes of the accused, and I would suggest that any of them that has not done worse than the supposed crimes of the accused should hurl the first stone. For Christians, this sentiment was original to their Messiah, but to me, the same sentiment came from Diogenes of Sinope, who may himself have been inspired by the gymnosophists of India.

Epicureanism, though, is the lifeblood of scientific thought. In fact, Lucretius anticipated many of the discoveries attributed to Newton. My opinion is that if you believe that science and reason can save the human race, then deep down, at least a part of you is Epicurean, even if indirectly. While Epicurean only resonates with a part of me, nothing else really works well for that part of me.
Click to expand...
Its quite a good read and a good point of view but ill leave that matter for another time as it is not the point of the post, i got a little carried away :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top