A fate worse than death

M

mares4me

Guest
Horses are my primary attraction, but I'm physically disabled and can't be around them. I can't imagine how it could get any worse than this.

I also have no friends, and nobody who I can talk to about this. Nobody understands what I'm going through, apparently. I just don't know what to do anymore.
 
You don't mind me asking what kind of disability? Like, leg injury or amputated limb, or is it a mental disability?
 
I've been diagnosed with a personality disorder, and I have a bad knee.
 
mares4me said:
I also have no friends, and nobody who I can talk to about this. Nobody understands what I'm going through, apparently. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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guessing all of us are just figments of your overactive warped imagination
all you can do to fix it is actually think hard to find a way that at least somewhat fixes it, even getting a small part of your desires is better then nothing
 
mares4me said:
Horses are my primary attraction, but I'm physically disabled and can't be around them. I can't imagine how it could get any worse than this.

I also have no friends, and nobody who I can talk to about this. Nobody understands what I'm going through, apparently. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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Im sorry to hear that. :/ It is a sad fate to possibly never experience your true love for mares in this lifetime.

But,

That doesnt mean you shouldnt try to. You should exhaust all means possible to try to, and youd be surprised. There is empathtic zoos who enjoy helping zoos have a horse in their life albiet it takes years of talking to get to that point. You should try all avenues.
 
So, I'm pretty much screwed. Got it.
MareButtUddrrLovrr said:
I've been diagnosed with a personality disorder, and I have a bad knee.
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I have autism, depression, and anxiety. So it's no wonder I don't even have friends. But that's not the reason I can't be around horses. It seems my back issues have sealed my fate.
 
ZTHorse said:
That doesnt mean you shouldnt try to. You should exhaust all means possible to try to, and youd be surprised. There is empathtic zoos who enjoy helping zoos have a horse in their life albiet it takes years of talking to get to that point. You should try all avenues.
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He's been offered a program for disabled people that takes quadriplegics and any other physical disability to ride/groom/be around horses by me. He refused.
 
caikgoch said:
He's been offered a program for disabled people that takes quadriplegics and any other physical disability to ride/groom/be around horses by me. He refused.
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He refused your offer - That's to bad but at present I think he might be absorbed in self pity(I hope he doesn't take offense). Truly sad is that he says he has no friends yet he is blinded by his self pity so badly that he failed to see the opportunity to make a friend.
 
As someone that's suffered bouts of self-pity, it's really hard to pull yourself out of it. I would know; it took years for me to come out of a funk. I, unfortunately, have been known to relapse and fall back into that same funk, but I've gotten out of it all the same. Takes effort, though.
 
MareButtUddrrLovrr said:
As someone that's suffered bouts of self-pity, it's really hard to pull yourself out of it. I would know; it took years for me to come out of a funk. I, unfortunately, have been known to relapse and fall back into that same funk, but I've gotten out of it all the same. Takes effort, though.
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Well try to keep a positive outlook and always look for the good in something. Maybe if you tried to see what the program Caikgoch offered to help you with you could at least know if that program would help you any, and you might make a friend or two along the way.
 
mares4me said:
So, I'm pretty much screwed. Got it.

I have autism, depression, and anxiety. So it's no wonder I don't even have friends. But that's not the reason I can't be around horses. It seems my back issues have sealed my fate.
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I can't speak to many of your conditions, however I can say I have sciatica, neck and knee problems that interfer with me on a 24/7 basis.

I can also a test to what a site like this can do for you!

In my current state I have many zoo friend's
I met them on B/F(a former site like this)
It took me many years to find all my friends.

I will say it was worth the wait and I couldn't ask for better friends.

Don't keep your self down man, I know it sucks some times. I can only imagine some of the things you are dealing with.

Try to keep your chin up big guy!
Never say die! (Frog choking pelican)dam don't have the pic!
 
caikgoch said:
He's been offered a program for disabled people that takes quadriplegics and any other physical disability to ride/groom/be around horses by me. He refused.
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An offer that I couldn't take because my back issues prohibit any sort of riding, grooming, etc. Don't listen to this guy, as he was never trying to be helpful in the first place.
knotinterested said:
He refused your offer - That's to bad but at present I think he might be absorbed in self pity(I hope he doesn't take offense). Truly sad is that he says he has no friends yet he is blinded by his self pity so badly that he failed to see the opportunity to make a friend.
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I'm not blinded in self-pity, and the only reason I don't have friends is because nobody wants to associate with autistic people like me.
 
mares4me said:
Horses are my primary attraction, but I'm physically disabled and can't be around them. I can't imagine how it could get any worse than this.

I also have no friends, and nobody who I can talk to about this. Nobody understands what I'm going through, apparently. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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You can talk to me.
 
I'm not blinded in self-pity, and the only reason I don't have friends is because nobody wants to associate with autistic people like me.
[/QUOTE]
That is not true. I am autistic as well and I genuinely enjoy our conversations. There is no shame in being autistic. As autistics are more empathetic than most "regular" people.
 
Meh, I've long-since shirked off the whole "regular" descriptor.
 
As far as I'm concerned, I have no true friends. And some of these so-called "friends" just want to tease me by saying they have access to horses, while I'll never have the chance to be around them again. Not my definition of a friend.
 
mares4me said:
As far as I'm concerned, I have no true friends. And some of these so-called "friends" just want to tease me by saying they have access to horses, while I'll never have the chance to be around them again. Not my definition of a friend.
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As for me, I am NOT teasing you when I talk about my day at the ranch.
Let me call you, please. You are making me worried about you.
 
CetaceanLover23 said:
As for me, I am NOT teasing you when I talk about my day at the ranch.
Let me call you, please. You are making me worried about you.
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No, I already deleted the number. You can't reach me there anymore. You and everyone else have only hurt, instead of help, me.

But I shouldn't be surprised. It's always been this way. I can't depend on anyone for anything, not even emotional support.

And don't worry about me.
 
Hewflungpew said:
I can't speak to many of your conditions, however I can say I have sciatica, neck and knee problems that interfer with me on a 24/7 basis.

I can also a test to what a site like this can do for you!

In my current state I have many zoo friend's
I met them on B/F(a former site like this)
It took me many years to find all my friends.

I will say it was worth the wait and I couldn't ask for better friends.

Don't keep your self down man, I know it sucks some times. I can only imagine some of the things you are dealing with.

Try to keep your chin up big guy!
Never say die! (Frog choking pelican)dam don't have the pic!
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I haven't been able to make even one friend on here. It hasn't been from lack of trying. For years, I have tried to make a friend within the zoo community, but with no luck. Same thing with trying to be with a horse. I suppose both will never happen.
 
mares4me said:
No, I already deleted the number. You can't reach me there anymore. You and everyone else have only hurt, instead of help, me.

But I shouldn't be surprised. It's always been this way. I can't depend on anyone for anything, not even emotional support.

And don't worry about me.
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Okay, let me get one thing strait here. I NEVER intended to hurt you and if I have I am truly sorry. But I do care about you whether you think so or not. I am asking you to cut this shit right now! Regardless of what you think you are a friend to me. And I vigorously support my friends when they are in need such as yourself. I have already lost too many friends to suicide because of self-loathing and hate and loosing trust in everyone else, and I WILL NOT allow you to do the same.

And I don’t care if you don’t want me to worry about you because I will continue to do so. If I sound pissed it’s because I am. I think rolling over and dying is a selfish and downright cowardice move. I don’t want to be pissed, but when people I consider friends and or are close to me (such as yourself) and go through such severe self loathing, I would do anything to help them even if that meant my own life.
 
mares4me said:
No, I already deleted the number. You can't reach me there anymore. You and everyone else have only hurt, instead of help, me.

But I shouldn't be surprised. It's always been this way. I can't depend on anyone for anything, not even emotional support.

And don't worry about me.
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You have friends here whether you think so I t not. Hearing things like this from people in a nothing new to me. I know I can help as I’ve done so with so many others (even people I’ve never even met or knew). Yes I don’t care for people, but here in the zoo community, I care for everyone!!!!!!!!!!
 
I agree with @Cetcetaceanlover23 I am your friend and care about you we don't want you to be sad we are here for you.
 
I'm sorry about this. I'm not the same person that you see posting this stuff. It's a completely different entity. I don't know how else to put it.
 
mares4me said:
I'm sorry about this. I'm not the same person that you see posting this stuff. It's a completely different entity. I don't know how else to put it.
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We understand that, however regardless, we are ALL here for you and we ALL care about you. We are all zoo, and zoo’s stick together even during deep mood swings like this.
 
mares4me said:
I'm sorry about this. I'm not the same person that you see posting this stuff. It's a completely different entity. I don't know how else to put it.
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You know, those times we messaged each other back and forth really meant something to me on a deep personal level. And I thought they did so with you as well.
 
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