• Suddenly unable to log into your ZooVille account? This might be the reason why: CLICK HERE!

S.O. OCD - please help

MauriceRavel53

MauriceRavel53

Tourist
I cannot stop ruminating on the fact that I am a zoophile. That I am madly in love with dogs. Not just sexual - everything about them. I prayed and prayed. thinking about why I am this way, what the ramifications are, what would happen if I got a dog (people who know include my family and some friends)...

I went on a retreat hoping God would give me some revelation there. Maybe supernaturally just - take it away. It was at some rural ranch place with a bunch of older people. And there was a beautiful, charming great pyrenees. I spent a lot of time petting her and talking to her. I may have kissed her once or twice. I told her some things. I prayed a lot. I balled my eyes out thinking about dogs. How much I love them. How wonderful they are. How much I want to save every one of them from misery and give them the best lives. But also, I thought, they're just dogs. But then I look into her eyes and I just see so much depth. A beautiful soul. A pure soul. And she's gorgeous in every way. I beg God to help me. I told Him I CANNOT LIVE ANYMORE without a dog - or at least I cannot live the full life that I have longed for so so so long. I am getting my addiction issues in order, working a program... I just don't know how I can continue without this companion. I don't even care about sex, but I long to just have her next to me all the time, day and night.

I cannot stop thinking about this. I continuously release it to God. I surrender to Him. I have given up all porn and fantasy- if some image pops in my head I release it. porn is gross and it cheapens relationships, IMO. I just want a dog. But what would happen? Would it ruin my life? What would people who know me think? Would my family be so troubled by stuff they imagine might be going on? Would I be constantly convicted? Would I kill myself?

But the missing piece of life, a dog, my sweet girl, who I long for so beyond much - is my deepest desire, my other half! But my convictions and beliefs are contrary to this - it's only a man and woman in marriage that can have intimacy. Okay then I won't do anything sexual. But I probably won't resist if she's in her season and makes things obvious. Then maybe I'll just get her fixed. But that's mutilation and cruel... humans are gross. A human wife? ewww... blah... ARGH blah blah blah ....

never. Fucking. Ending.

I just want to LIVE and ENJOY LIFE!!!!!! I am so troubled.
 
I hear how much your faith and convictions are weighing on you, especially the idea that intimacy should only be between a man and woman in marriage. I’ve had my own struggles with societal “rules,” and what helped me was separating my love for my dogs from human norms. My intimacy with them isn’t about replacing human relationships; it’s a different kind of bond, one that feels pure and mutual. If you’re worried about sexual temptation, you could focus on the non-sexual aspects of having a dog, like you mentioned—just having her by your side. For me, some of the most fulfilling moments with my dogs are when we’re just lying together, no expectations, just love. If getting her fixed feels wrong to you, that’s okay—trust your instincts on what’s best for her. You could also explore ways to channel your feelings, like volunteering at a shelter to be around dogs without the pressure of ownership yet. The worry about what your family and friends might think is so real. I’ve been lucky to keep my lifestyle private, but I know the fear of being “found out.” One thing that helped me was focusing on my own happiness and the well-being of my dogs. They’re happy, healthy, and loved, and that’s what matters most. If you do get a dog, you don’t have to share every detail with others. You can present her as your companion, your best friend, which is true! For example, my neighbors see me with my mastiff and pitbull and just think I’m a dog lover (which I am!). If your family already knows about your feelings, maybe have an honest but gentle conversation about how a dog would bring you joy as a companion, without diving into anything they might not understand.

If you’re ready to consider getting a dog, think about what would work for your life. A Great Pyrenees, like the one you met, is a big commitment—they’re huge, protective, and need space. My mastiff is similar in size, and he needs a lot of room and exercise, but he’s worth every second. If you’re worried about temptation, you could consider a male dog or a spayed female to keep things non-sexual, though I hear you on not wanting to “mutilate” a dog by fixing them. Maybe start by fostering or volunteering to test the waters. Also, keep engaging here—this community has been my lifeline when I’ve felt lost, and you’ll find others who’ve wrestled with similar feelings.
 
I'm so sorry your are hurting and conflicted. And I feel so fortunate to have grown up in a non-religious household. I have had many friends and acquaintances struggle, their lives shattered by similar ideology. I'm not an atheist. They are often just as obnoxious. What I am is curious and want to understand how things work. We as social mammals need attachment, bonding, intimacy, and lots of it! If you take some time to understand the origins of violence, addiction, crime, and so on, it's intrinsically tied to the lack of attachment, child abuse, misogyny, and in general how woman and children are treated. Many of these often institutionalized behaviors and beliefs are just that. We have always done it this way because of 2000 years of someone's bad ideas thinking some how pleasing a supernatural power would improve a very harsh existence in very harsh desert. Those that still live in those parts of the world are still busy killing each other over their pile of sand. And for what? It's all quite sad really. You would probably do yourself a huge favor and look at your beliefs, where they come from, and why, with a very critical eye. It seems hardly beneficent when all you want is love and connection in a meaningful manner, then struggle with superstition originating in a time and place far removed from anything relevant today, then letting it poison your desire for fulfillment. It's your life. It's the only one. You can be conflicted, or fulfilled. What do you want between now and dead?
 
MauriceRavel53 said:
I prayed and prayed.
Click to expand...
This is not going to help you. For obvious reasons.
Without going into the depth of why this approach does not help and historically never solved anything, you are only fighting your own head. Nothing else, if you have the willpower to overcome your own thoughts, you can solve it. Nobody else can do it for you.
 
SaraZooville said:
I hear how much your faith and convictions are weighing on you, especially the idea that intimacy should only be between a man and woman in marriage. I’ve had my own struggles with societal “rules,” and what helped me was separating my love for my dogs from human norms. My intimacy with them isn’t about replacing human relationships; it’s a different kind of bond, one that feels pure and mutual. If you’re worried about sexual temptation, you could focus on the non-sexual aspects of having a dog, like you mentioned—just having her by your side. For me, some of the most fulfilling moments with my dogs are when we’re just lying together, no expectations, just love. If getting her fixed feels wrong to you, that’s okay—trust your instincts on what’s best for her. You could also explore ways to channel your feelings, like volunteering at a shelter to be around dogs without the pressure of ownership yet. The worry about what your family and friends might think is so real. I’ve been lucky to keep my lifestyle private, but I know the fear of being “found out.” One thing that helped me was focusing on my own happiness and the well-being of my dogs. They’re happy, healthy, and loved, and that’s what matters most. If you do get a dog, you don’t have to share every detail with others. You can present her as your companion, your best friend, which is true! For example, my neighbors see me with my mastiff and pitbull and just think I’m a dog lover (which I am!). If your family already knows about your feelings, maybe have an honest but gentle conversation about how a dog would bring you joy as a companion, without diving into anything they might not understand.

If you’re ready to consider getting a dog, think about what would work for your life. A Great Pyrenees, like the one you met, is a big commitment—they’re huge, protective, and need space. My mastiff is similar in size, and he needs a lot of room and exercise, but he’s worth every second. If you’re worried about temptation, you could consider a male dog or a spayed female to keep things non-sexual, though I hear you on not wanting to “mutilate” a dog by fixing them. Maybe start by fostering or volunteering to test the waters. Also, keep engaging here—this community has been my lifeline when I’ve felt lost, and you’ll find others who’ve wrestled with similar feelings.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your kind words. I have thought about volunteering at an animal shelter. But selfishly I don’t know if my heart could handle that. I’d love them all too much and the fact is they don’t all get adopted. And I can’t adopt at the moment. I could try but I’m worried that as soon as I step foot in one I’ll break down in tears. Also I’m definitely going through an emotional crisis so if and when it wears off i might put that shield back on my heart for the benefit of… these amazing beings. lol I’m balling my eyes out as I write this
 
MashaSobaka said:
Your avatar is fucking good.

So. Fuck your religion. And fuck God.

You buy a dog. You're going to love she and she going to love you. You leave she intact or I'll break your hand.

And you and she have sex. Sex is really okay, sex is good. The soul needs relationship and the body needs relationship. Sex. Dot.
Click to expand...
I’ve had too many unexplainable experiences which are. God… can’t do that. Wouldn’t want to. Life is too short and eternity is too long.
 
Yuri1944 said:
I don't think this will help him whatsoever :(
Click to expand...
I don't explain myself anymore, everyone does what they want, I'm tired of it. Then a year goes by and he comes back to this forum saying he wants to have sex with the neutered dog, but he can't because she's too small. And then he buys a second one. How many times have we seen this on this forum?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top