Top things not to say during sex

[Chiara2003]

All ur brothers an u papa better?

 

[Duramax96]

Me: Your dogs pussy tastes better

Her: she’s in heat

I continue

 

[Foxxy90]

*whisper on her ear* I'm here to talk to you about your car's extended warranty.....

 

[MrsShemon]

Could you at least consider Viagra?

 

[Foxxy90]

We out of gravy?

What smells like fish?

Is that crust?

*while thrusting* "Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!

 

[saddlebum66]

If it wasn't for the crabs moving, I'd never know you were alive....

 

[WanderingPup37]

Ya like it. Just installed this slightly used pussy the other day

 

[suzyk9]

It's not that I have a small dick, you just have a big pussy!

 

[saddlebum66]

Ya like it. Just installed this slightly used pussy the other day

Yeah....it'll be fine, once I get past the "used" part.

 

[WanderingPup37]

Yeah....it'll be fine, once I get past the "used" part.

Yeah like I'd do a trans woman with or without a pussy but the used part was my "wait wtf?" Contribution

 

[saddlebum66]

Ah.....Im not sure if that was a needful comment, or TMI, bud.

 

[Taopony]

I could've sworn I was wearing a watch before we started...

 

[saddlebum66]

Yes, Dearest...That IS a 2x4 strapped across my hips....why do you ask?

 

[Chiara2003]

Get off meeee?

 

[guykiwi]

Your father said you liked that

 

[Taopony]

Just bend over the end table and let's get this over with

 

[Puhp]

Again? Jesus. Your mom was never like this.

 

[Duramax96]

Your miniature mare rides me better

 

[koozi]

Did you cum already? ?

 

[Chiara2003]

Where’s the rest of it??‍

 

[Chiara2003]

I accept tips

 

[Puhp]

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

 

[Chiara2003]

“Sorry…. We’re u doing some things?”

 

[Puhp]

Wait, is this 234 Rocking Horse Drive?

 

[Chiara2003]

Commercial is almost over!

 

[Labraflyerdor]

(Not from my own experience, but a friend's anecdote that came to mind)

Him : *thrusting*

Me, noticing it on his bookshelf which I'm facing : Ooh! Calvin & Hobbes!

 

[saddlebum66]

Is that SUPPOSED to feel crunchy?

 

[saddlebum66]

My mother and father are joining us.

Fine....I'll call for backup...

 

[saddlebum66]

lol...might discourage a fella...

NOW I understand why they call it "Yodelling in the CANYON..."

 

[Chiara2003]

I don’t take American Express